Faith In Fashion

Remember, not so long ago, that it was the done thing to be all new-age-y and talk about 'homeopathy' and 'alternative' medicines? It was fashionable to pretend to be a vegetarian, buy anything with the word 'herbal' on the bottle, and eschew leather shoes for sandals made out of hemp.

Of course, after that came Kabbalah, which consisted of pretending to know what 'kabbalah' was and trying bits of red string around your wrist.

And now, it seems, we're on the downswing of Wicca. Modern Wiccans (generally referred to as 'fluffwiccans' or 'wikkans' in print) have little in common with traditional Wicca. Modern Wicca consists mainly of buying books by someone with an incredibly pretentious and excitingly dark name*, dressing like an escapee from The Rocky Horror Picture Show, telling people that you're a Wiccan as loudly and as often as possible, and pretending to understand what 'harmony' and 'balance' mean in respect of your hastily adopted religion. Once in a while you might want to light a pre-dribbled candle and place it on a fake skull, just to maintain proper witch-cred.

No, I didn't write this post to bash Wiccans (but then, what would they do about it if I had? Cast a spell at me?) nor to talk about those who select their religion from the pages of a fashion magazine. No, I wanted to share with you a nightmare.

See, sooner or later the people who treat religion as a fashion accessory are going to find their eyes caught by atheism. Yeah, atheism's not a religion. I know that and, I hope, you're smart enough to know that, but bear with me.

Atheism has many of the features that the religion-as-fashion-statement crowd look for:

It's likely to annoy the heck out of your parents, coworkers, friends and generally anyone you meet, which means you can think of yourself as dark and edgy.

It's not liked by the establishment nor the religious right.

It's not actually necessary to truly believe in anything.

There's no church (or equivalent) to attend when you'd rather be having a lay-in.

There's many books on the subject you can buy and fill your bookshelves with.

It's quite easy to be loud and in-your-face about it, with t-shirts, bumper stickers and jewelry.

There's money to be made from the t-shirts, bumper stickers and jewelry.

There's no required clothing, jewelry, or dietary prejudices, yet you may freely adopt any you wish and you don't have to give up a single thing you don't want to.

The list goes on. The point is, fellow atheists, they will find us sooner or later. Sooner or later a Hollywood starlet will opine "I believe in God, but I'm an atheist" and, at that point, there's not much left to do but head for the treeline. Our cries of dismay and challenge will fall on deaf ears.

But forewarned is forearmed, so maybe we can prepare. The children and our slower members might be able to find sanctuary in some religion until they leave. I hear that Unitarians are pretty open, and there's always Buddhism. For the rest of us, though, there's little hope. We'll have to endure the eyerolls and smirks, the sighs and knowing nods, as people judge us as trendy atheists.

Here's hoping that the religion-fashion victims find something else and miss us this time.

*For both first and last name, randomly select at least two words from the following list: dark, claw, silver, night, wolf, storm, child, moon, raven, crow, paw, tail, star, mage, spell.

Carnival Of The Godless

The latest Carnival Of The Godless is up at AtheistFAQ.

And look! That's me on there. I submitted the piece I wrote about an atheist symbol and lo, it was good...

Must tidy up.. We've got company coming..

Ricky Gervais On Creationism

Hi-larious:

An Atheist Symbol

Even the less observant readers will have noticed that prominent red letter "A" decorating the sidebar beneath the picture of the devilishly handsome rogue who is sleeping with my wife.

It's okay, though. I'm sleeping with the devilishly handsome rogue's wife, too. And she's hot.

Anyway. The "A".

It's the symbol of Richard Dawkins' OUT campaign, which seeks to encourage atheists to get loud and proud.

I first heard about it over at Pharyngula, where the usual argument ensued.

It is, indeed, true that getting atheists to do anything together is like herding cats. It stands to reason, if we were inclined to run with the crowd, we'd be religious.

Anyway, the usual problems with any symbol designed to represent atheism were raised.

First, that it's an "A". Whilst the word for atheist begins with an "A" in most languages, there are some in which it does not, and, of course, there are those languages which do not use the Latin alphabet, so "A" doesn't represent the word atheism everywhere.

Second, the "A" doesn't really represent atheism. It's just the first letter of the word, it doesn't really represent us or what we are.

Then there's the fact that it's a scarlet letter. Yeah, we get the whole "ironic twist" thing, but some aren't comfortable with it.

The atom symbol favoured by American Atheists is often rejected by non-Americans for that same reason, that it represents American atheists.

Some propose using the "no" sign (red circle with a slash through it), usually over a crucifix or collection of religious symbols. Most reject this, as do I, because it makes a statement about what we are not, rather than what we are.

Others favour the null set symbol "{}", but to me, that seems in need of too much explanation.

Still, mindful of the "put up or shut up" philosophy of life, I decided to see about designing an atheist symbol that addresses these issues.

I decided to work to the following requirements:

1) It must represent what atheism is, not what it is not.

2) It must either be understandable in any language, or translatable into any language without spoiling the integrity of the symbol.

3) It must be reasonably easy to understand with, if necessary, only the minimum amount of explanation.

Here's what I came up with:

One of the things I remember from school biology class is that there's this cool machine that makes squigly patterns when you connect it to peoples' heads.

Don't mind me, I'm just playing dumb.

It's called an EEG, and there is a visible difference between the pattern generated by a sleeping subject and that generated by an awake subject.

There is also a marked difference between a person who is relaxed, and a person who is thinking cognitively (which means thinking about stuff as opposed to thinking about an object they can see).

The latter are called Gamma waves and, thanks to the nice people at the Wikimedia commons, here is an example:


So, this is what it looks like when you think about stuff. What more perfect symbol could there be? This, in fact, is your brain on atheism. It's a little big, though. So I snipped an interesting looking bit out of the middle and, just because my blog has a black background, made it yellow-on-black:

Nice. It's like.. thought.. pictured..

Ahem.

Anyway, it's a little obscure, but no more so than a Crucifix or a Star of David would be if you didn't already know what they were.

Okay, if you want, I'll add the word "Atheist" underneath:


Or, in French:

Swedish:

Finnish:

Greek:

Arabic:

Japanese:

You get the point. It's nice on its own, or you can put atheist in any language on there. You could put "freethinker" or "bright", if you favour those terms. You can put "my mind, my choice" if you're feeling subtly humourous, or "don't pray in my school and I won't think in your church" if you're feeling a little more in-your-face.

So, I extend the challenge:

Put up or shut up.

If you're an atheist and you don't like the symbols being used, come up with one of your own. See if you can convince anyone to use it.

Carnival Of The Godless

I haven't posted in a few days, what with both Mrs Doombreed and I working so bloody hard. Still, I thought I'd better pop my hear around the door and say hi.

Atheist Revolution has the latest Carnival Of The Godless. So I have some reading to do.

10 Proofs Against God

The Stubborn Curmudgeon takes a long, serious look at the scientific evidence for belief in a deity.

Check it out.

Nine Down, Three To Go

I'm a little late, but here nonetheless. Akusai over at Action Skeptics has the latest Carnival Of The Godless up.

Go. Read. Go now!

Less Interesting Day

Today, May 11th, is the sixth anniversary of the day that the world became significantly less interesting because a great man left it.

Rowan Atkinson on..

Two hilarious videos from the great comedian Rowan Atkinson.

The first,via WasShe at AP, is Rowan Atkinson on the Jesus "water into wine" miracle:



The second, straight from YouTube, is "Welcome To Hell":



Abso-bloody-lutely hilarious.

History Channel

The History Channel is airing a programme about the Dark Ages, the promo for which can be seen here. The promo finishes by describing the Dark Ages as "600 years of godless, inhuman behavior".

Well, call me Mr Pedantic, but the reason why the Dark Ages were so horrific was because the church ruled Europe with an iron fist. Calling this inhuman behavior "godless" is absolutely inaccurate.

"600 years of God-inspired, inhuman behavior" would be better.

People who think that history should at least bear some resemblance to actual events can email the History Channel at thc.viewerrelations@aetv.com.

I did.

Daylight Atheism

Daylight Atheism is an excellent blog. Well written, well thought-out, very thought-provoking.

And, for those interested, it led me to stopsylviabrowne.com, a very informative site about one of America's most popular "psychics".

E.A.C.

Via tain at AP comes a link to the Evil Atheist Conspiracy, and, via the E.A.C., comes a link to George Carlin's website, and, via George Carlin's website, comes a link to a funny and insightful mp3 of Carlin talking about the Ten Commandments.

Clear? Good.

An Answer To The Watchmaker

WhyWon'tGodHealAmputees.com has a reply to the century-old argument called "The Wacthmaker."

Now, this argument has been torn to shreds so often it's puzzling that many still rely on it, by WWGHA puts the counter-argument in a new and novel way:

Today's "Intelligent Design" movement is based on an argument not unlike the one used by William Paley just before Darwin's day. Paley believed that if you found a watch in a forest, you would not assume it had formed there by itself. You would assume that it had been made ultimately by a "watchmaker."

By extension then, the human body is like a watch. The human body is complex -- "irreducibly" complex according to the "Intelligent Design" movement. And so one might argue as Paley did that the human body could not have formed by itself. It had to have been made by an "Intelligent Designer."

If the Intelligent Designer actually exists, here is a thought experiment for us to ponder.

Let's imagine that you were to walk into a jewelry store and look at the different watches in the jeweler's case. One of the watches catches your eye because its design is so unusual. The jeweler walks over and you ask him to describe the watch. He begins to rattle off several of its more interesting features.

"Here's something you don't find on many watches," the jeweler says. "When you wind up this watch, it begins to stink!" He winds the watch, and it is just as he says -- a definite odor, very slight at first, begins to waft from the watch. The jeweler tells you that the smell can grow quite profound through the course of the day, to the point where the watch becomes most annoying. You must apply a special ointment called a "deodorant" to the watch every morning in order to mask the smell, and will also have to wash the watch every night to get the ointment and the smell off. If you let the watch go two or three days without washing it, it will smell so bad that you will not want to be in the same room with it.

[...]

You can read the rest of the article here.

Why Does An Atheist Celebrate Christmas?

I get asked this question, generally by people who stand there with a smug, triumphant look on their face as if they've just found the chink in the armour of Satan. "If you're an atheist," they say, obvously relishing the chance to show the heathen the error of his ways, "why do you celebrate Christmas?"

So here's the answer which, I realise, was promised this time last year, but better late than never.

In the strictest sense, I don't. At least not in the sense that most people mean when they ask that question.

It must be emphasised that there is a significant difference between celebrating Christmas and celebrating at Christmas. It is possible, despite protestations to the contrary by some Christians and, indeed some atheists, to celebrate at Christmas in a purely secular fashion.

Now, I know that that sounds like something of a cop-out. I've read and heard many opinions from both Christians and atheists that celebrating in any fashion , irrespective of the intent, is a religious observance, a pathetic attempt to cling onto a life that, had I the courage of my convictions, I would have left behind.

And the atheists are, if anything, even more offensive about it*1

I could dwell on all of the many facts in support of secular celebration of Christmas. I could talk about how many of the facets of a "traditional" Christmas predate Christianity by, in some cases, thousands of years. The tree, the giving of presents, the decorating of the house, the singing, the pantomimes, all have their origins in traditions much older than a mere two thousand years. The date itself - December 25th, one week before the new year - has been celebrated as a winter festival, both secular and in varying religious terms, for so long that it's near impossible to pin down exactly where and when the practice started.

But these arguments would be ineffective on both judgemental atheists and Christians, because the former has probably heard all of the arguments and discounted them as irrelevant, and the latter would probably refuse to believe them.

No, in order to answer the question, it must be looked at from a different perspective.

Instead of "Why would an atheist celebrate Christmas?", we could look at "What would happen if an an atheist decided to not celebrate Christmas".

More specifically, this atheist.

The first and most personal problem is that it would cause serious friction with Mrs Doombreed. Christmas is a big holiday with my wife and her family. Am I to simply snub them? Stay at home?

But that, in itself, presents a problem. America, like England, almost entirely shuts down at Christmas. Virtually nothing is open*2. Almost all restaurants, bars, cinemas, shops, nothing going on, nothing to do. In England, there's actually a law*3 preventing many businesses from opening on Christmas Day.

For virtually all jobs, you've got the day (if not the week or more) off. Okay, I'm not about to argue if my employer wants to give me a paid day off, but that does leave one at a loose end.

Most of my friends are celebrating with their families, so going to see them is out.

Even the mighty atheist edifice that is the Atheist Parents forum was like a ghost town on Christmas Day, so busy were almost all of the members with their families.

And, when you get right down to it, why should I mope around whilst Mrs Doombreed goes off and has fun? Is your desire to be right so powerful that you'd rather I was miserable than happy?

The point I'm making here is that, when you live in a country as securely dominated by Christians as England or America are, you are included in the Christmas celebrations whether you like it or not. You probably won't be working, there's nothing else open, the telly is overrun with Christmas specials and Christmas films and Christmas comedies and Christmas dramas and people singing Christmas songs and people gushing about Christmas over and over and over.

So, if I can't escape it, why not simply make it my own? My nice, secular, religion-free, once-a-year, call-it-what-you-like*4, family celebration.

I like the gifts, both giving and receiving. I like the tree, the decorating, the lights, the ornaments*5, the tinsel. I like the Christmas dinner. I like the crappy Christmas telly. I like the eggnog. Oh, I like the eggnog. I like Mrs Doombreed's mum's Christmas candy. I even like some of the Christmas songs on the radio.

So why can't I enjoy it without the religious nonsense?

And why can't you let me be? Am I hurting you?

*1: There is nothing about atheism, despite the sterling example set by Your Gracious Host, to prevent an atheist from being an arrogant, offensive, loud-mouthed, pompous arsehole. What's perhaps more saddening is that, whilst there is much about Christianity that should prevent a Christian from being an arrogant, offensive, loud-mouthed, pompous arsehole, many still exhibit these qualities with depressing zeal.

*2: I would like to state, in the strongest possible terms, that I have no interest in seeing this change. The majority of atheists, in my experience, feel the same. If a business wants to close on Christmas Day or, indeed, any other day, that is their right and that should be protected. I am merely pointing out the consequences of that decision to an ordinary atheist.

*3: Christmas Day (Trading) Act 2004

*4: Some call it solstice, some call it festivus. I call it Christmas simply because it's just easier.

*5: I especially like the Hallmark Keepsake ornament of Princess Leia In The Gold Bikini that Mrs Doombreed bought me last year.

281 Tricks To Irritate An Atheist

This utterly hilarious post lists off 281 (yes, I know the bit about the bottom of the list - it's a joke) ways to irritate an atheist. And, yes, in my years as a freethinker, I've encountered many of these in one setting or another.

Hat Tip to MomSquared at AP.

Richard Dawkins: Do We Really Need Bad Reasons To Be Good?

Richard Dawkins, author of The End Of Faith and Letter To A Christian Nation writes an incisive piece about right and wrong in the name of religion.

Worth a read.

George Carlin HBO special

George Carlin is a stand-up comic, actor, pseudo-philosopher and famous atheist. He's also just released an HBO special.

See it here.

And you can visit Carlin's website here.

WARNING:

The above links are most definitely, completely, utterly, obviously and undeniably NOT SUITABLE FOR WORK.

It is also 1 hour and 14 minutes long, so make sure you have the time to dedicate to watching it.

Carnival Of The Godless

Feeling tired and sick tonight, so here's just a quick link to the latest Carnival Of The Godless over at Salto Sobrius.

Some very interesting reading.

There are atheists in foxholes

A recent edition of the comic strip Doonesbury repeated a popular saying amongst Christians, nameley that "there are no atheists in foxholes".

The saying is supposed to mean that atheist turn to God when it really matters. I guess it's taken as confirmation of the oft-stated position that atheists know that God is real, but refuse to acknowledge him.

Now, personally, if I knew that God were real, and that my lack of belief were damning me to an eternity of hellfire, I wouldn't be an atheist.

But I know God is not real, so I am.

This position is echoed by the spurious tales of atheist's deathbead conversions. As an example, Christian apologists to this day tell the tale of how noted scientist, popular television personality, and gentle atheist Carl Sagan turned to God in his final hours.

Which would be a harsh indictment of atheism if it were true. Anyone who believes it should read Billions & Billions, the book Sagan was writing when he died. The final chapter was written by Sagan's widow, and is an emotional account of her husband's final days. She even mentions the death-bed conversion fantasies that she's heard since his death.

But the fact that these stories aren't true - and the "atheists in foxholes" is disproved by the military group called, believe it or not, "Atheists In Foxholes", and there is even a nice monument to Godless soldiers - hides a deeper problem.

If the "atheists in foxholes line" were true, then it says way more about Christians than it does about atheists.

A battlefield is the most stressful, horrific place possible. Placing a person in such a position, where their death is both horrific and, quite probably, horrifically imminent, leads to almost unimaginable stress. There's a reason PTSD is common amongst veterans.

So, what the saying means is that, an atheist, placed in the most stressful position imaginable, under mind-numbing stress and bowel-loosening terror, becomes that which a Christian is in the comfort of their own armchair.

An atheist, robbed of his mental faculties, becomes a theist.

Yeah, that's not something I'd be smug about, were I a christian.

Atheist World Non-Prayer Network

It's getting late, I'm tried, and so I decided to subject you to more juvenile humour.

This was originally posted on AP as a response to one of our members informing us that his mother was gravely ill. For those of us with a sense of humour, such topics are often phrased as requesting that we - the other atheist members - continue to avoid prayer as a means of helping the patient.

Some thought this response too flippant, too disrespectful, but the member at which it was aimed thought it was hilarious and, I hope, gave him a bright spot in an otherwise dark time.

Enjoy.

Doom.


Atheist World Non-Prayer Network


Welcome to the Atheist World Non-Prayer Network, where atheists around the world stand ready to not-pray for you and your every need.

We at the AWNPN will spring into action and immediately commence not-praying for anything you wish, and unlike our would-be rival, the Christian Rejoicing And Praying Network (CRAPnet), we won't judge you or your requests. We're just as happy not-praying for world peace as we are to not-pray that you find a clap-free whore to spend the night with. We'll not-pray for the Red Sox to win the World Series just has hard as we'll not-pray that those red spots around your penis go away.

So advanced is our service that we don't even have to tell our members what to not-pray for. That's right, unlike CRAPnet, who has to send out emails to their members - our network will instantly begin not-praying the moment you decide what you want.

Research even shows that our members are already not-praying for you and your needs. In fact, studies from several major universities show that AWNPN members even manage to not-pray for things you haven't thought of yet, for needs that have not yet arisen, and for things that you didn't even know you needed!

This is because atheists spend their time not-praying about everything. That's right, we will, and do, not-pray for absolutely everything in the world. Right now, atheists all over the world are not-praying for the victory of every sports team. We're not-praying for the health and wisdom of all politicians in every country around the world. We're not-praying for the success of every movie, every Broadway play, every book, TV show, scientific, business, educational, and - yes - even religious venture. But there's more. We're also not-praying for the failure of every single one of those things. And we're not-praying for their continued mediocrity!

The true power of AWNPN lies in our uninterruptable service. Our members are not-praying all day, every day. Our members are even not-praying whilst they sleep! CRAPnet cannot say that.

Sure, CRAPnet may have the numbers, but we're constant, full on, 24/7, not-praying just as hard as we can.

And here's where we go from brilliance to genius. It's not just our members that are not-praying for you. Scientific studies show that people who are dead also spend their entire time not-praying. That means that every single person that has ever lived is right now not-praying for you! And for everybody else!

And that's not all!

Reliable scientific evidence shows that people who have not yet been born spend each and every day not-praying.

Did I say CRAPnet has the numbers? Oh, we have the numbers. We have every person who has ever lived, and every person yet to be born, for now and forever more and each and every one of them is not-praying all day, every day!

And our service has a guaranteed 100% success rate! We at AWNPN have spent our lives not-praying for every single thing that happens every single day!

So come join us, and we'll not-pray for you!

In fact, we already are not-praying for you!

Hallelujah!