Finally!

Okay, so Crusader is finally out. Huzzah! And so on and so forth.

On CreateSpace, on Amazon.com (Kindle and print) and Amazon.co.uk (only on Kindle as yet).

Oh, but no time to rest on my laurels. Renegade is a-calling.

Is There A Doctor In The House?

So, Matt Smith, huh? If you're not a Whovian you probably don't know who he is. In fact, if you're not a Whovian you probably don't know what a Whovian is.

Matt Smith replaced David Tennant as the Doctor on the longest running, and best, science fiction show in the world, Doctor Who.

Tennant, who is ranked by most as the greatest Doctor of them all, grew on me but slowly. Smith, a virtual unknown, I loved from the get-go. The very first episode was incredible. From fish fingers and custard to the most terrifying threat ever--"Basically... run"--it was all gold. And the sheer genius of an actor who is the youngest ever to play the part--28--who manages, more than most, to project those nine centuries of life out of the screen is just breathtaking.

And now I've seen the entirety of Smith's first season I have to say it just got better. Karen Gillan as Amy Pond is equal parts gorgeous, heroic and sympathetic. The stories are as deep and convoluted and satisfying as ever. Even the new TARDIS interior is pretty good. Okay, now I need to go buy another prop replica sonic screwdriver, but that's a small price to pay, I feel.

Two thumbs up.

Spinal Beeb

I'm keeping up with Election coverage by watching BBC.com (because BBC America is showing Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares instead) and I just noticed something with dear old Auntie Beeb's media player...

It goes up to eleven. That's one louder, isn't it? You see, most news outlets, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten there, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your news. Where can you go from there? Nowhere. Exactly.

PAGAN on Amazon.com

PAGAN is now available on Amazon.com, click here.

PAGAN, Now Available.

My first novel, PAGAN, is now available through my CreateSpace store at https://www.createspace.com/3402911.

I'm so excited I can barely stand to be in the same room as myself.

Arise, Sir Terry

We at Legal Alien were absolutely overjoyed to hear that This World's Greatest Author, Terry Pratchett, has been honoured by Her Majesty in the New Year's Honours list with a knighthood.

I can think of nobody more deserving, and no honour longer overdue. In the words of the man (knight) himself:

"Marry, nuncle, if'n I had a Knighthood (Night Hood), why, it would keep my ears Warm in Bedde; i'faith, if many a Knight is a Fool, why, should a-"

Congratulations, Sir Terry, and long may you continue bringing light into our lives. And now I have to find a way to send him an empty envelope with "Sir Terry Pratchett, Knight" written on the front.

In joke. If you don't get it, you need to read a better class of books.

British Police To Get Tasers

Interesting news from Blighty comes our way in the form of British bobbies being armed with Tasers. Apparently, after more and more police forces have been using the handy little stunners, the country as a whole is going that way.

We await the screams of outrage.

Actually, a Taser, used properly, is less dangerous than the extending batons they have been using for a while now. Extending batons can crush skulls and break bones, especially in inexperienced hands. Sure, if you have a dickey heart a shot from a Taser can kill you, but so can someone sneaking up behind you and yelling "boo!".

The fact is that policing has changed since the days Dixon of Dock Green could fell a criminal with nothing more than a practised knee-bend and a cheerful "What's all this, then?", and the bad guys don't give up with an equally cheery "It's a fair cop, guv" any more. The Taser is, in this writer's opinion, a fair middle-ground between those who want bobbies armed to the teeth and those who want them to go back to the little truncheon.

Peter Boatman, operations director for Pro-Tect Systems, has had the weapon used on him over 200 times, and he's upright and breathing. Wonder how he'd look after a couple of hundred bops on the head from those batons?

Pilot Lands After Going Blind

Via AMERICAblog comes the amazing story of a British pilot who went blind at 15,000 ft and was then talked down to a safe landing by the RAF:

When the instruments on Jim O'Neill's four-seater Cessna aircraft became difficult to read, he assumed it was the glare of the sunlight as he flew over north England at 15,000ft. It was only when the dials blurred completely that he realised the full horror of his predicament: he was a solo pilot who had suddenly gone blind.

Struggling with the aftermath of a mid-flight stroke – which had put pressure on his optical nerve and robbed him of his sight in one eye and left him with very limited sight in the other – Mr O'Neill found himself unable to follow instructions from civilian air trafficcontrollers attempting to guide him to the nearest airstrip. Instead, an extraordinary rescue was launched when RAF staff, overhearing the emergency, offered to send a military plane to fly alongside Mr O'Neill and shepherd him in to land, issuing instructions to him over the radio.

Brilliant.

Are we nearly there yet?

I got a note from the Blog Police last night and if I don't mention the election I will get my license revoked.

I may have used that joke before.

Ah well.

So, like, Obama won. America's first African American President. Yes, its a historic moment. I was actually watching Indecision 08: America's Choice on Comedy Central when the news broke. Yes, this is a tradition, you may recall that I watched Colbert and Stewart team up for the last election in 2006 and I thought I'd do the same this year.

So, Obama won, and not only won, trounced the holy shite out of his opponent. Obama got 349 electoral votes to McCain's 163, more than double. And there are still two states not reporting--Missouri and North Carolina--but the two are likely to get one each.

Here's an interesting point that I noticed. The election was decided so fast that all of the news outlets were announcing the result while polls in Alaska were still open!

Wow, way to tell an entire state that they're irrelevant.

There was bad news, though, for anyone who values freedom. Having passed a same-sex marriage law two years ago, California residents voted to pass Proposition 8, ammending the state's constitution in the same religious-fueled, hate-based, equality-destroying way that Kentucky and six other states did in 2006. All for that ridiculous reason that wobbles on about "protecting marriage".

Good news, though. The Sensible Marijuana Policy Initiative passed in Massachusetts, decriminilising the possession of small amounts of marijuana, and the Compassionate Care Initiative passed in Michigan, allowing for the use of marijuana for medical purposes.

So, some freedoms were squashed, some sensible laws passed, and history was made. Not bad for an election.

Define "Irony"

Okay, so this is not so much ironic as it is abso-friggin-lutely hilarious, but it seems that the New England Patriots filed applications to trademark the phrases "19-0" and "19-0: The Perfect Season", almost a month before the Superbowl.

The word "hubris" means exaggerated and overwhelming - but unwarranted - pride and self-confidence, and is often used in conjunction with the concept of the subject getting his or her comeuppance.

Maybe Bob Kraft needed to have a slave standing at his shoulder whispering "look not so proud, for the football gods are jealous" as he rode in triumph into Foxborough.

Story tipped by the NY Post and their story about kids in Nicaragua being gifted with the now unnecessary Patriots "19-0" Superbowl XLII Champions t-shirts and hats.

Oh bugger..

The new BBC catalogue arrived today, which means I'm going to spend a while looking through it at all of the things I miss.. Only Fools And Horses.. Are You Being Served?.. The Young Ones.. Dad's Army.. Last of the Summer Wine.. Carry On.. The Avengers.. The New Statesman.. Monty Python.. The Day Of The Triffids.. Dangermouse.. Cadfael.. The Sweeney.. both Basil Rathbone and Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes..

They just don't make telly like that anymore.

At least there's still Dr Who.

And I'll have to reminisce quietly because Mrs Doombreed is sick.

Must go.

Oh no they didn't...

More proof, as if that were needed, that Australians are completely and utterly barking mad, whilst, at the same time, have balls of steel, emerged today.

Via AMERICAblog to Crooks and Liars comes the story of how a bunch of Australian comediens waltzed through the security surrounding US President George Bush - which costs AU$1million per hour - with one of their number dressed like Osama bin Laden:



The comedians, from a show called The Chaser's War On Everything take an honest Aussie's dislike for everything in authority and take it to the max:



Yes. The story is worrying. It is worrying that a AU$1million per hour security force could be that piss-poor. Don't lose sight of that.

And, notice the pattern. The government ends up with egg on its face, but the comedians end up in jail.

Clowns KKKick KKK ass!

This may be the single greatest news story in the history of mankind.

Wife power!

Twelve down.. NONE TO GO

Aaaaaaaand.. relax..

Seven Down, Five To Go

Here, in video format, is the BBC report on Kentucky's newly-opened "Creation Museum" (mentioned here a few days ago).

Especially impressive is the quote from the actual scientist about how the only thing that's missing is the "yabba-dabba-do."

Excellent stuff.

Men (And Women) In Uniform

Following the news that legalising same-sex marriage in the UK did not cause the total and irrevocable collapse of civilisation comes the equally shocking news that allowing homosexuals and lesbians to openly serve in the military did not cause said military to devolve into a horrific pantomime of mistrust, violence and bigotry, nor, incredibly, has it destroyed the effectiveness of said military.

Seven years after the British Army changed its policies towards openly gay soldiers, the MoD says that the problems have been pretty much nonexistent.

Since the British military began allowing homosexuals to serve in the armed forces in 2000, none of its fears — about harassment, discord, blackmail, bullying or an erosion of unit cohesion or military effectiveness — have come to pass, according to the Ministry of Defense, current and former members of the services and academics specializing in the military. The biggest news about the policy, they say, is that there is no news. It has for the most part become a nonissue.

Well who in all of the world would have thought it?

Oh, right. Almost everyone who doesn't have their head firmly up their own arse, that's who.

These two non-events have set a worrying precedent. Next these strange gay folk will want to do stuff like stand for political office, and be cops, and - gasp - teachers.

Y'know, be judged on their abilities rather than their sexual orientation.

What a novel thought.

Some, however, aren't convinced by silly, irrelevant stuff like facts and real-world experience. Being gay is immoral, gays in the military are a threat to everything and everyone, blah blah blah.

It's the 21st century, people. Aren't we supposed to be beyond this kind of medieval crap by now?

The Wedding Of The Century

Officiant: "We are gathered here today to celebrate the marriage of Warhammer 40,00 and Stargate: SG-1. For them, this marriage is both a pledge of enduring love, and an expression of their commitment to each other grounded in law. For the rest of us, this marriage is an occasion where we are reminded of the bonds to our own families and friendships and how important and wonderful these bonds are to us.

"Marriage is dedication. You give yourself, your life, and love into the hands of the one you love. You do so trustingly and generously. By the same token, each of you receives a gift--the life and love of the other. You receive this gift not only from the one you love, but also from the parents who brought you into the world and reared you and from the personal world of friends and family who are joined in friendship and faith in your marriage.

"Mark Twain once said that "a marriage makes two fractional lives a whole. It gives to two purposeless lives a work, and doubles the strength of each to perform it. It gives to two questioning natures a reason for living. It brings a new gladness to the sunshine, and a new fragrance to the flowers, and new beauty to the earth, a new mystery to life."

"It is appropriate that you, the family, are here to participate in this wedding. The ideals, the understanding, and the mutual respect, which these two bring to their marriage have roots in the love, friendship, and guidance with which you have provided them.

Officiant - "You may now exchange your vows."

Warhammer 40,000: "I, Warhammer 40,000, take you Stargate: SG-1, to be my TV show, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. With my earnest and complete devotion, I give you my love."

Stargate: SG-1: "I, Stargate: SG-1, take you Warhammer 40,000, to be my table-top war game, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. With my earnest and complete devotion, I give you my love."

Officiant: "Do you, Warhammer 40,000, take Stargate: SG-1 who you have promised to love and cherish to be your lawfully wedded TV show?"

Warhammer 40,000: "I do."

Officiant: "Do you, Stargate: SG-1, take Warhammer 40,000 who you have promised to love and cherish to be your lawfully wedded table-top war game?"

Stargate: SG-1: "I do."

Officiant: "Traditionally, the marking of the passage to the status of table-top war game and TV show is marked by the exchange of rings. These rings are a symbol of the unbroken circle of love. Love freely given has no beginning and no end. Love freely given has no giver and no receiver, for each is the giver and each is the receiver. May these rings remind you always of the vows you have taken here today."

Warhammer 40,000: "This ring, a gift for you, symbolizes my desire that you be my TV show from this day forward."

Stargate: SG-1: "This ring, a gift for you, symbolizes my wish that you be my table-top war game from this day forward."

Officiant: "And now, may the confidence, trust, and affection you have for each other on this day sustain you as you go forth upon your journey of life together with its joy, its laughter, its sorrow, and its pain. May you fulfill your personal goals with each other's help and guidance. May you dwell together in peace, love, and joy."

"Warhammer 40,000 and Stargate: SG-1, having witnessed your vows for marriage with all who are assembled here with you, I announce with great joy that you are from this time on, table-top war game and TV show."

"Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. and Mrs. Warhammer 40,000-Stargate: SG-1."

*sniff* ... damn ... I swore I wouldn't cry ...

Yes, that's right. 28mm Stargate: SG-1 figures. The Jaffa are excellent if you have a Chaos army and want something a little different as troops, but the SG-1 team are perfect for Imperial Guard and would make a cool-looking Command HQ.

Now, if only there were someone who liked both Warhammer 40,00 and Stargate: SG-1, and who collected Imperial Guard, and who had a birthday coming up soon, and whose wife reads his blog.

Phoenix Icons homepage.

HEALTH AND SAFETY IN THE BLOGPLACE WARNING:

Please mind the hint that was carelessly dropped and negligently left laying on the floor.

With sincerest apologies to Muriel at AP, from whom I blatantly ripped off the incredible Atheist wedding ceremony.

Rowan Atkinson on..

Two hilarious videos from the great comedian Rowan Atkinson.

The first,via WasShe at AP, is Rowan Atkinson on the Jesus "water into wine" miracle:



The second, straight from YouTube, is "Welcome To Hell":



Abso-bloody-lutely hilarious.

Quackwatch

Playing "follow the link" from Daylight Atheism, led me to stopsylviabrowne.com (see yesterday's post), which led me to another great site today, called Quackwatch.

Quackwatch is a site dedicated to keeping track of and fighting against pseudo-science, especially in the area of medical pseudo-science. It has a 152-member scientific and technical advisory board, and a 28-member strong legal advisory board. It features a health fraud discussion board and many, many articles dedicated to spotting, avoiding and countering "snake oil" salesmen.

The site has also received numerous awards, to which I would add the Legal Alien "You Must Read This Site" Award.

It's Over..

I'm back to work tomorrow, despite still hacking like a V-8 running on three cylinders and having a blown blood vessel in my eye from coughing too hard. Should be miserable fun.

On the plus side, Mrs Doombreed started her new job today, so massive woo-hoo congratulations to She Who Makes My Life Worth Living.