Umm... what?

Can someone please explain to me why there's a used copy of PAGAN, my novel, being sold on Amazon.com for $39.38 when anyone can get a new copy for $15.99?

NaNoWriMo and why I fell short.

Well, NaNoWriMo has come and gone and I failed. All told I ended up about ten thousand words shy of the total.

My heartiest and sincerest congratulations to everyone who signed up and managed to hit the total. You guys rock. However you managed to do it, you did manage it and my hat is off to you.

For the uninitiated, NaNoWriMo is National Novel Writing Month, an annual event which seeks to encourage writers, both amateur and professional, to commit the month of November to ... look, the name is National Novel Writing Month. Do I really need to explain further?

Anyway, the target is fifty thousand words words or roughly sixteen hundred and sixty-seven words a day. A not-impossible target. So why did I fall short?

Well, I could talk about how I was sick for a large slice of the month, and that would be true. I could talk about setting aside last Friday as the day when I was going to catch up, only to find myself hit by the worst migraine I've had in nearly a decade, and that, too, would be true. I could mention the Bengals unexpectedly being quite good this year and how I had to--no choice, you understand--watch them every Sunday. I could add Thanksgiving into the mix and lament about how, between the cooking and the going to relatives houses, I had to take valuable hours away from the keyboard. I could mention that I do my best writing at work during my split shifts, and how, for reasons unknown, I didn't get split shifts for at least a week. I could mention the sick wife that I nursed. I could talk about all of these things and more.

But let's face it, those are just excuses.

They're not reasons.

The reason I fell short was because I just didn't write enough words. And that's didn't, not couldn't. I can write seventeen hundreds words a day. I can do that easily. On three separate occasions during November I sat down and wrote five thousand words, often in four hours or less. On Monday, the last day of the month, I spent a total of four and a half hours bashing out over seven thousand words.

I can do it. I had the time. It was not a failure of time, or ability, it was a failure of motivation.

I messed around on facebook when I should have been writing. I tormented the cat when I should have been writing. I watched a half-dozen movies, three seasons of Blackadder, three episodes of Stargate Universe, the same number of Sanctuary, and went through most of the Military Channel and the Science Channel on Insight's Free Spot. I watched Stargate: Ark of Truth and Stargate: Continuum. I watched American football. I watched a spot of real football. And I could have written whilst I was doing all that. I have my AlphaSmart. It's portable and cord free.

I read, too. Boy did I read. I went on a Terry Pratchett binge, reading most of my collection. I read Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris. I proof-read Pagan again before authorising it for sale on Kindle. All told, during November, I read close to twenty novels. Twenty! When I could have been writing!

There was also the whole issue of getting started. I didn't set finger to keyboard until the fourth of the month. The fourth! I was already over five thousand words behind by the time I got started.

Maybe if I had got started early and worked a little every day, I could have...

Excuse me, I just have to go and have a flashback to every rushed homework assignment from my school days.

So, lessons learned?

Let's find out, and I don't have to wait 'till next year. December is my private NoWriMo. I'm going to write fifty thousand words in the month of December, if only to prove to myself that I can do it.

Just as soon as I've finished watching this really cool special on the History Channel. And I still have four episodes of V on the DVR. And the cat's looking bored. And I never did get around to reading Sourcery. And I have food to serve on Cafe World.

Oh, this month's not looking good, either.

Sick Con or Sad Delusion?

The James Randi Educational Foundation has a disturbing piece on a man Belgium who has--according to reports--come out of a persistent vegetative state and is now merrily communicating with the world.

Except, as they point out he's not. It's complete balderdash that gives people false hope and adds fuel to the notion that we absolutely must keep bodies alive, no matter the cost, no matter the condition.

Hat tip to Penn Jillette via twitter.

PAGAN on Amazon.com

PAGAN is now available on Amazon.com, click here.

PAGAN, Now Available.

My first novel, PAGAN, is now available through my CreateSpace store at https://www.createspace.com/3402911.

I'm so excited I can barely stand to be in the same room as myself.

V: Again

I just saw a commercial. Ladies and gennlemen, please stand and raise your glasses.

They're remaking "V".

That quintessential eighties TV show about the rodent-eating, fake skin-wearing, we-come-in-peacing lizards that went from TV movie to miniseries to slightly odd TV series.

Awesome.

Stargate Universe

I've been casting a jaundiced eye over the newest installment of the Stargate legacy: Stargate Universe.

Well, it's not bad. The principle of the series is this:

An off-world base has a uniquely situated star gate. The core of the planet is radioactive (aren't they all?) and this might allow them to dial a new nine-symbol address.

Nine symbols?

Yeah, try to keep up.

So, the place gets attacked by the Lucian Alliance, the über-upgraded human ships (remember the end of Stargate SG-1?) are suddenly weak and pathetic again and the planet blows up. Our new heroes make their escape through the star gate, using the nine-symbol address.

And there's another flaw. Sure, we have the reasoning that the explosion of the planet could have propogated through the open wormhole and, as such, Earth was out. But are there no other stargates? One on an uninhabited planet, mayhap?

Anyway, through they go and find themselves on a ship. An Ancient ship. An Ancient ship many, many, many, many, many (done yet?), many lightyears from home.

Oh, and the ship's buggered. Not a whole heck of a lot is working. But the Ancients were smart.

Apparently, the point was to send the ship out, unmanned. Flying away before it are a number of other unmanned ships programmed to seek out certain planets and drop star gates on them. Thus, when the time was right the Ancients would use the nine-symbols to transport themselves into a new area of the universe with an already completed network of star gates. If anything went wrong, the ship would seek out the nearest star gate on a world that had what was needed and go there. Of course, the Ancients ascended before they got around to using it.

And that, more or less, is the premise of the show. The ship's on automatic, on its last legs, and it's going to be stopping off close to important places where our heroes can go get stuff.

Because, like, the Ancients had never heard of the concepts of 'spares' or 'backups'.

There are flaws in the premise, it's true, but I'm willing to suspend my disbelief there. What I'm not willing to suspend is my hatred for shakycam. I'm convinced that they hired the same guy to make this new series as they did the remake of Battlestar Galactica. Either that or they just stole his ideas, that whole shaky camera work, stupid zooms and everything else that goes with that 'mockumentary' style of cinematography.

Still, I'm going to watch it. I just won't like it as much as if they had kept the style of the previous two series.

Pagan

It's been a while since I posted anything here. At least I have a good excuse.

For the last few months I've been writing a novel and now it's complete. A lifelong dream has been fulfilled.

The novel is called Pagan and tells the story of a vampire hunter who finds himself having to take on both the vampires and an unwilling public. The vampires are waging a propaganda war--very successfully--and the tide of popular opinion is turning.

The novel is at the printers and should be available in a few weeks. Keep it here for updates or join me on facebook or MySpace for details.

Published!

Associated Content published my article:

Digital Cameras and Cameras in Cellphones: Photography in the 21st Century
In the 21st century so much is changing so fast, and the humble camera has come further and faster than many other things we take for granted. This is not your grandmother's photography.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1623260/digital_cameras_and_cameras_in_cellphones.html

Rejected

I sent my story "Outside The Box" to Asimov's Science Fiction magazine and, today, received their answer:

Rejection.

Oh well, onwards and upwards.

Arise, Sir Terry

We at Legal Alien were absolutely overjoyed to hear that This World's Greatest Author, Terry Pratchett, has been honoured by Her Majesty in the New Year's Honours list with a knighthood.

I can think of nobody more deserving, and no honour longer overdue. In the words of the man (knight) himself:

"Marry, nuncle, if'n I had a Knighthood (Night Hood), why, it would keep my ears Warm in Bedde; i'faith, if many a Knight is a Fool, why, should a-"

Congratulations, Sir Terry, and long may you continue bringing light into our lives. And now I have to find a way to send him an empty envelope with "Sir Terry Pratchett, Knight" written on the front.

In joke. If you don't get it, you need to read a better class of books.

Walmart Employee Trampled To Death On Black Friday

Today is Black Friday. For those outside the USA, Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving (always the last Thursday in November), traditionally the day all these big stores start their sales and the biggest retail day of the year. Hence the name, it's the day when most retail stored go out of the red and into the black for the year.

Every year stores offer fantastic savings (I got one hell of a nifty digital camera for $60), and usually offer "doorbusters".

Doorbusters are expensive items at massive discount, that go on sale--usually at 5am--and when they're gone, they're gone. It's kinda like the concept of the loss-leader. People come for the doorbuster and, because they've all gone, buy other stuff at much less of a discount.

As a result of these, people queue for hours. In November. In the wee hours of the morning. And, come 5am, the doors are open and it's one big stampede. People get knocked over, trampled, stuff gets crushed. It's chaos.

That's why I ordered my camera online. No crowds, see?

This morning, however, a worker at the Long Island Walmart was trampled to death in the crush. So intent were the shoppers on getting those bargains that the doors were smashed off of their hinges and 200 people ran over this guy after he was knocked to the floor. The same crowd narrowly avoided foisting the same fate on a pregnant woman, who was hospitalised after being knocked over herself.

Crazy. Just crazy.

Hat tip to AMERICAblog

British Police To Get Tasers

Interesting news from Blighty comes our way in the form of British bobbies being armed with Tasers. Apparently, after more and more police forces have been using the handy little stunners, the country as a whole is going that way.

We await the screams of outrage.

Actually, a Taser, used properly, is less dangerous than the extending batons they have been using for a while now. Extending batons can crush skulls and break bones, especially in inexperienced hands. Sure, if you have a dickey heart a shot from a Taser can kill you, but so can someone sneaking up behind you and yelling "boo!".

The fact is that policing has changed since the days Dixon of Dock Green could fell a criminal with nothing more than a practised knee-bend and a cheerful "What's all this, then?", and the bad guys don't give up with an equally cheery "It's a fair cop, guv" any more. The Taser is, in this writer's opinion, a fair middle-ground between those who want bobbies armed to the teeth and those who want them to go back to the little truncheon.

Peter Boatman, operations director for Pro-Tect Systems, has had the weapon used on him over 200 times, and he's upright and breathing. Wonder how he'd look after a couple of hundred bops on the head from those batons?

Vatican "forgives" Lennon

Via the BBC comes the news that the Vatican has decided to "forgive" John Lennon for claiming that the Beatles were bigger than Jesus.

How nice.

Of course, the Vatican finds itself, as the Americans say, a day late and a dollar short. See, they've decided that Lennon's comment was a "boast", whereas anyone who knows the truth behind the story realises that it was nothing of the sort.

So I guess that 40-odd years after the fact it's nice that they're acknowledging it at all. Actually, I think that this is just an indicator of how far behind the Vatican is in their paperwork. Maybe some overworked clerk finally got around to reading the original article and realised the mistake.

Think about it. The Vatican is always coming out and saying things about events that happened decades ago. They've only recently acknowledged that the then Pope might have done more when it came to the question of Hitler. And before that we had the admission that the Spanish Inquisition might have been a wee bit on the harsh side.

So there's hope. It seems like they are catching up. They've probably just hired on some new, eager young firebrand who is working through the backlog.

At this rate the Roman Catholic church should be ready to admit that overcrowding is somewhat of a problem some time around 2012, by 2017 they might be telling us that AIDS is a threat, and by 2020 they may finally come out and tell us that abstinence-only education doesn't work. Who knows, we may yet see them endorsing condoms and producing their own blessed "packet of three" under the name "His Holiness's Swiss Guard*".

I wouldn't hold my breath, though. It's been two thousand years and they're still clinging to the myth that Jesus was a peace-loving lamb who was killed by the Jews instead of the Romans.

* I can't claim this joke as my own. It appeared in an old Dark Future novel by Games Workshop.

And.. I've come..

Remember

Today is remembrance day, the Eleventh of the Eleventh, and the ninetieth anniversary of the end of the First World War. I was asleep at 11am GMT, but I will be observing a minute of silence at 11am EST here in Kentucky.

In England, 3 of the 4 surviving British WWI veterans attended the traditional ceremony at the Cenotaph, and Prince Charles attended a similar ceremony in Verdun, France.

And in Australia, Prime Minister Kevin Rudd said "We have all endured a most bloody century. Let us resolve afresh at the dawn of this new century.. that this might be a truly pacific peaceful century."

Pilot Lands After Going Blind

Via AMERICAblog comes the amazing story of a British pilot who went blind at 15,000 ft and was then talked down to a safe landing by the RAF:

When the instruments on Jim O'Neill's four-seater Cessna aircraft became difficult to read, he assumed it was the glare of the sunlight as he flew over north England at 15,000ft. It was only when the dials blurred completely that he realised the full horror of his predicament: he was a solo pilot who had suddenly gone blind.

Struggling with the aftermath of a mid-flight stroke – which had put pressure on his optical nerve and robbed him of his sight in one eye and left him with very limited sight in the other – Mr O'Neill found himself unable to follow instructions from civilian air trafficcontrollers attempting to guide him to the nearest airstrip. Instead, an extraordinary rescue was launched when RAF staff, overhearing the emergency, offered to send a military plane to fly alongside Mr O'Neill and shepherd him in to land, issuing instructions to him over the radio.

Brilliant.

And again...

I see that Bill O'Reilly and the Fox news team have started this year's "War On Christmas" blatherings already.

Is it just me or is there something sick about this so-called War On Christmas tomfoolery in a world where people really are suffering persecution for their beliefs?

Are we nearly there yet?

I got a note from the Blog Police last night and if I don't mention the election I will get my license revoked.

I may have used that joke before.

Ah well.

So, like, Obama won. America's first African American President. Yes, its a historic moment. I was actually watching Indecision 08: America's Choice on Comedy Central when the news broke. Yes, this is a tradition, you may recall that I watched Colbert and Stewart team up for the last election in 2006 and I thought I'd do the same this year.

So, Obama won, and not only won, trounced the holy shite out of his opponent. Obama got 349 electoral votes to McCain's 163, more than double. And there are still two states not reporting--Missouri and North Carolina--but the two are likely to get one each.

Here's an interesting point that I noticed. The election was decided so fast that all of the news outlets were announcing the result while polls in Alaska were still open!

Wow, way to tell an entire state that they're irrelevant.

There was bad news, though, for anyone who values freedom. Having passed a same-sex marriage law two years ago, California residents voted to pass Proposition 8, ammending the state's constitution in the same religious-fueled, hate-based, equality-destroying way that Kentucky and six other states did in 2006. All for that ridiculous reason that wobbles on about "protecting marriage".

Good news, though. The Sensible Marijuana Policy Initiative passed in Massachusetts, decriminilising the possession of small amounts of marijuana, and the Compassionate Care Initiative passed in Michigan, allowing for the use of marijuana for medical purposes.

So, some freedoms were squashed, some sensible laws passed, and history was made. Not bad for an election.

Cincinnati 12-20 Cleveland

That makes the Bengals 0-4.

I called Paul Brown stadium this morning to ask what time the game started.

They said "What time can you get here?"