Single guys, beware

I love Mrs Doombreed. I really do. But the picture above is the end result of what I used to call "a day off."

Single guys everywhere should be aware of this. When you get married, suddenly a day where you are not actually at your job is no longer defined as a day off, it is defined as a day to "get things done around the house."

In this case it was finishing off assembling the last two of four new bookcases, plus the assembly of one of two new bedside tables, and act which will involve rearranging the bedroom furniture in order to fit them in. Done, probably, on my next "day off."

But worse, oh so much worse, is that I like it. I realise that sleeping 'till 3pm and then spending the afternoon staring at the TV, moving only to get a new beer or wipe the drool off of my chin, may be more relaxing than getting up in the morning and doing stuff all day, but at the end of the day, you end up with a feeling of accomplishment rather than that nagging feeling of having wasted an entire 24 hours.

I enjoy the feeling that comes from actually having done useful stuff instead of simply knocking minutes and hours off of my life. It's satisfying, something I never thought I'd say when I was younger.

Of course, if any of you tell my wife this, I'll deny it.

Sad, sad, sad

You'd think Our Lord And Savior Of The World would have better things to do than appear in sheet metal.

I mean, come on, it's not even a good picture. It's fucking oil stains for fuck's sake. It doesn't even look like Jesus, it looks more like Val Kilmer on the cover of The Doors. Or possibly Che Guevara.

And, yet, to utterly no surprise whatsoever, it is, at the time of writing, up to $1,025.

There's a sucker born (again) every minute.

Sad. Very, very sad.

I almost wish this were an atheist exploiting christian stupidity. Maybe it is.

Good readin'

Thanks to the "blogs of note" feature on Blogger, I've discovered the blog of none other than Neil Gaiman.

Sweet.

Oh, my.. Walmart?

Further to this post and this one, I've heard some more very good news. Reversing its previous decision, the retail giant Walmart (the largest retail chain in the world) has decided to stock the emergency morning-after birth control pill known as "plan B" in its stores.

Kudos.

Church and State

So, Tony Blair's caused a shitstorm over his comments about Iraq and his god.

I miss England so much. It seems quaint that politicians get lambasted over trying to mix politics and religion when compared to some of the things that go on over here, especially considering that it's "over here" that has a constitutionally mandated separation of church and state, and it's "back home" that has the constitutionally mandated entanglement of same.

Truly, the world is upside-down.

Friday Rodent Blogging

Dammit, man! Can't a girl even get a drink in peace?

Selene, washing the taste of Doombreed flesh out of her mouth.

(just kidding, she hasn't bit me seriously except for that one time)

Hooray for Michigan!

With reference to yesterday's post about the pro-life movement's gathering strength, here's an encouraging story showing that people are trying to reduce unwanted pregnancies without doing away with women's rights:

State to give birth control to the poor

Note, though, that the fundies are pissed at the idea.

Anyway, good on ya, Michigan.

Abortion in South Dakota

Well, today I bring the sad news that the South Dakota legislators have passed a bill banning abortion in all cases except where the mother's life is at risk. There's no provision for rape or incest, no help for those caught out by failed birth control. All that's left is for the state's republican governor to sign it into law.

[In the USA, government powers are split between the Executive, the Legislative and the Judicial. For a law to become law, it has to be passed by the state's legislature, then signed into law by the executive (the governor) and it can be blocked by the judicial (the state's courts). It can also be vetoed by the governor. Just so it's clear]

The problem is that even if the state's courts rule the law unconstitutional and overturn it, the decision can - and will - be appealed at the next level of courts, eventually, of course, ending up before the US Supreme Court which, with the confirmation of Justice Alito, seems to be - at least, this is the religious right's hope - stacked in favour of upholding such legislation.

The only hope for South Dakotans is that the governor will refuse to sign it (unlikely in the extreme) or that one court along the way will block the legislation and the next court in the line will refuse to hear the case (even more unlikely). Sadly, the pro-life movement has been gaining momentum here from the second Roe v Wade was passed, and now they have supporters at virtually every area of government.

It's sad because this just isn't the USA I was taught about in school. In a truly free country, abortion would be available. Don't like abortion? Don't have one. You have the right to not have an abortion, but in a country that loves freedom, you don't have the right to prevent anyone else from having one.

If you don't like abortion, work to make them unnecessary, not illegal. Reduce unwanted pregnancy and you reduce abortion - it's causal. Campaign for better information and education about birth control (but of course, the religious right also paradoxically hate birth control - go figure), work to improve the adoption/foster care system, contribute to systems to educate girls about pregnancy and ways to avoid it. All these are simply examples of ways to work to reduce abortion without trampling over people's freedoms and whilst respecting women's rights.

But the pro-life lobby aren't interested in freedoms and respect. A glance at their literature shows it to be full of hate, vitriol, and lies, strange considering that most style themselves as Christians. Not that the pro-choice lobby are saints. A lot of misinformation and exaggeration goes on there, too.

South Dakota's new law is even sadder because it's obviously just another step towards an eventual federal ban (that's where abortion is banned across the entire country rather than just on a state level). America has been sliding towards this for a while now. It's saddening that the question has been settled in most civilised countries, yet here in America, the extremist minority still seek to control the lives of the majority - in a country built on individual freedom and liberty. It's saddening all the more for the fact that they are winning.

State legislators have also passed the preliminary stages of getting a similar law onto the books in Mississippi, and the US Supreme Court has just ruled in favour of pro-life groups in a case dealing with how law enforcement may deal with their protests. Here in Kentucky, both pro-choice and pro-life legislation are on the books, but the latter are more wide ranging and more supported.

I know that this country's abortion struggle is not my fight. I'm just a visitor here. But it does make me all the more determined to keep an eye on things in the UK, and to do my part to support the right to choose back home.

Going out in style

This post is being typed on our new computer. Yep, the old steam-powered hulk is gone (as far as the corner of the room) and a new, ultra-slim model now adorns the desk. What's more, Windows 98 has been retired and now I'm blogging with the power of Windows XP.

Finally, the Doombreed household joins the 21st century.

Pancake Day!

Like millions across the UK, Mrs Doombreed and I marked pancake day today. Despite my several years here, this was the first time I'd made pancakes for She Who Is The Centre Of My World, and I was pleased with the reception.

Thus, for posterity and because it took me a while converting from real measurements to those strange American ones, here is the recipe:

1/2 cup all-purpose flour, sifted
pinch of salt
2 eggs
A little more than 3/4 cup milk, mixed with 1/3 cup water
2 tbsp melted butter

1: Sift the flour and salt into a bowl. Make a well in the centre and break the eggs into it. Whisk flour and eggs together.

2: Gradually add the milk/water mixture whilst whisking. When all the liquid has been added, scrape the bowl to ensure everything is mixed. Mixture should be the consistency of thin cream. Add the melted butter and whisk together.

3: Heat frying pan to medium-hot, and grease with whatever you use (butter works, but I found non-stick spray did just as well). Our frying pan is 10" across, smaller pans will require next mixture. Drop one ladlefull (about 3 1/2 tbsps) of the batter into the centre of the pan, swirling the pan to ensure the batter covers evenly.

4: Cook until the underside goes golden-brown (no more than two or three minutes) and then flip over by tossing the pancake in the air and catching it in the pan.

5: Scrape pancake off of ceiling, throw in garbage, and go back to step 3, this time remembering to toss with less force.

6: Scrape pancake off of floor, throw in garbage, and go back to step 3, remembering to toss more accurately.

7: Frantically beat out flames, scrape pancake off of burner, run to deactivate smoke alarm, open windows and doors to vent smoke, and go back to step 3, deciding to use a spatula to turn pancake instead of tossing it.

8: Second side of pancake will not need as long as first, When it, too, is golden-brown (actually, it's a kind of dark yellow with yellow-brown spots, but cookery books always say "golden brown'), slide out onto plate and move to decoration.

Decorating:

Pancakes can be eaten just about any way you choose. Sprinkle with confectioners sugar, splash on some lemon juice, throw some ice cream on, chuck on a handful of just about any type of fruit, chocolate syrup, jam, nuts, cream, bacon, golden or maple syrup, whatever (and all of the above for a seriously nauseating experience). My favourite is:

Doombreed's Big Boy Special

Wrap your pancake around a banana (of course it's peeled, silly boy) and place on a plate. Drizzle with golden syrup (or maple syrup if golden is not available) and decorate with whipped cream. You now have a phallic dessert which would make Freud choke on his cigar.

DVR

Digital Video Recorder. TiVo is the brand name, but may other brands are available. And it is, without a doubt, the best thing ever. We've had DVR on our cable for a while now, and, like DVD and VCR before it, I don't know how we ever lived without it.

We can rewind and pause live TV. We can record two different channels at once - and watch something we've already recorded. We can set it to record every episode of any series (oh yes, Stargate SG:1 is being recorded).

This got me thinking about two things. The first is that, in essence, a DVR is really just a hard-drive connected to your TV, so the technology has been available for a couple of decades now. I wonder why it took so long to think of it. I mean, it seems so bloody obvious when you think of it, yet that is the beauty of hindsight.

The second thing is this: I wonder what the next big thing in home entertainment will be?

I guess being able to spot it would make me a rich man.

Fluorescent discs were supposed to be an up-and-coming thing a few years back. Everything that makes a DVD cool but with - well, at last estimate I heard - twenty times the capacity. Imagine having every episode of your favourite TV series on one disc. Yep, you don't even have to expend energy getting up to change discs. Wow. Of course, that's not that big a deal, because you can get DVD multi-changers even now.

But imagine a fluorescent disc multi-changer. Build a toilet into your armchair, drop a fridge next to it, and you'd never have to move again.

Of course, DVR ain't done yet. Bigger hard drives, more channels at once, that kind of thing. But I wonder how long before DVR goes the way of the VCR, which is to say that almost everyone has one, but we use them less and less.

Interesting that it took both DVD and DVR to truly take over for VHS. Shame it kinda preempted DVD-R and DVD-RW as the next great way to record stuff.

(And I wonder if there's an award for most acronyms in one blog entry).

I'm going to make a prediction. If DVRs have a shortcoming, it's that fact that you can only deal with the TV/cable/satellite transmissions it's hooked up to. In the future, possibly the near future, the DVR and the home computer will come closer, maybe even meld together. Ports to connect your digital still and video camera and download the contents. Card slots for storage cards for transferring programmes and saving them. Maybe the ability to download videos to your iPod video player or other portable device.

Maybe one day you'll be able to take video on your camera, watch the video on your television, and then email it to your mother all from the same set-top box.

Write that down, make it, patent it and make a fortune. And don't forget to chuck some cash in the way of your ole pal Doombreed.

Of course, people have been predicting the ultimate all-in-one entertainment centre for a while now, so don't count on me being right this time. Any money you invest is entirely at your own risk.

Ahem.

Too much time on my hands...

Movie Weekend

Movies we rented this weekend:

Lord of War:

Good movie, food for thought. Nicholas Cage at his best.

Doombreed Rating: ****1/2

Doom:

Pretty much everything you'd expect. Gore, guns, The Rock. And the BFG. So it's all basically an advert for Doom 3, so what?

Doombeed Rating: ****

Christmas With The Kranks:

Okay, I hated how the book ended, so what possessed me to watch the film? Funny, in places, but the moral is that sanctimonious fuckheads are always right.

Doombreed Rating: **

Waiting:

Not just the food service industry, this is a film for anyone who has worked in any job that involves customer service. A guy film from all angles. Brilliant.

Doombreed Rating: ****1/2

7 Seconds:

Good movie that seemed to slip unnoticed through the cinemas. Enough intrigue to keep me interested, enough action to keep it exciting, enough drama to prevent bulletfest overload.

Doombreed Rating: ****

Dark Water:

Not quite as gripping as the trailers made it out to be. Over a little too fast and a little too easily for me.

Doombreed Rating: ***1/2

The Interpreter:

Intrigue set around the UN. I didn't see it because of the migraine and all, but Mrs Doombreed liked it.

Mrs Doombreed Rating: ****1/2

Ouch Night

Okay, so another migraine took me out of the running last night. What a doozy. I hope I can figure out what is causing these and stop doing whatever it is.

Friday Rodent Blogging

A historic moment in the rearing of a young gerbil. Baby's first bite. Yes, that's my hand, that's my ring finger she's attacking. And thanks to Mrs Doombreed's excellent timing, I can share this Kodak moment with the world.

*sniffles* I swore I wouldn't cry...

I wonder if Florence is a virgin?

Well, I just recieved what may be the strangest news in the history of the world. They've made The Magic Roundabout into a movie.

I understand that, in the UK, it retains its title, but over here in the US, having never been exposed to the LSD trip-by-proxy that is the adventures (if that's the right word for it) of Dougal the mop-dog, Florence the human, Brian the fast snail, Ermintrude the matronly cow, Dylan the spaced-out hippy rabbit, and Zebedee the speed-freak spring-legged boing-a-tron, have to put up with it being called "Doogal". They'll even, I understand, have different actors playing the parts (but Zebedee better get in his famous last line, or there'll be trouble from this fan...).

I really, really can't wait. I wonder how many, if any, of the drug references have been left in.

BTW, 20 points to anyone who can spot the source of this entry's title.

Time for bed, said Zebedee.

Has nobody shot the BNP yet?

Yeah, okay, I'm all for freedom of speech. I'm right behind the right to believe any crap you want. And, yes, I'm bang alongside the right to be a complete tosspot if you are such a turdbag that doing so is the only way to wring any sense and purpose from your miserable, pathetic existence.

Having said that, the news that the BNP "said on Wednesday it would distribute leaflets showing a cartoon of the Prophet Mohammad" is downright annoying. No, not that they're doing it, that typical of their stupidity, but that they were so all-fired-up, kids-on-Christmas-eve, cum-in-their-pants excited about it that they had to announce they were going to do it rather than just going ahead and - well - doing it. It's pathetic. It conjures up an image of a kid standing on a wall yelling for his friends to watch before he can jump off, while secretly hoping someone'll stop him.

Yes, kiddiewinks, that's why the BNP has no seats in the Commons. Because they're pathetic.

The title of this piece is, in retrospect, a bit silly. They are not worth the bullets.

The Forge

The Forge is an excellent free programme used to draw up army lists for various table-top wargames. I know that several readers will be interested in this, which is why I posted it.

Ain't I nice to you?

The programme itself is pretty good, if a little confusing at first. I use it to draw up lists for my Praetorian 40k army* and I've yet to have any compatibility problems with the new IG codex.

Run, go try it**.

*the painting of my IG Praetorian army is, alas, nowhere near as speedy, remaining - after several years - mostly unpainted. It does, of course, go without saying that those items which are painted are superbly done, which is what is taking the time. And it you believe that, you'll believe anything.

**unless, of course, you're not into 40k or any other Wargame, in which case, go play with this.

Today's Sign Of The Impending Apocalypse

The company that designed Milton Keynes has been contracted to rebuild a war-ravaged Iraqi holy city.

You cannot make this shit up.

Do the Iraqis even know how to use a roundabout?

Dissent and the patriot

One of the most amusing of American political tactics is defining opposition to anything the government says or does as unpatriotic - even treasonous.

Since 9/11 - and to a certain extent, before - anyone who doesn't wholeheartedly support the current administration in any detail is often portrayed as being somehow unAmerican. It is hard, for me, to understand how anyone can fall for this approach, for two reasons.

The first reason is purely a matter of historical merit. The very basis for American society, the origin of the entire nation, is rebellion. It is the belief that authority should be questioned, the total rejection of the notion of infallible government, that defines the creation of the United States of America. That any person - no matter their station or situation - has the right to question and to challenge the government was one of the driving forces behind the USA's struggle for independence.

So central is the concept that it forms the basis for the Declaration of Independence of the Thirteen Colonies:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. --That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or abolish it[...]

It is part of the First amendment, which not only protects free speech, but also the right of the people to petition the government for "a redress of grievances."

The Constitution of the United States even begins with the declaration "We, the People," a hugely unusual statement for the time. Even today, official documents and declarations issued by most governments - for example, declarations of war - draw upon the authority of the deity or deities that are culturally significant to the country concerned, and it is by drawing upon this divine right that most governments hold themselves to be beyond reproach.

In Britain, for example, such documents are always predicated upon the authority of the Crown, which derives, its traditionally held, from the Christian god. The official title of the Queen goes "Her Majesty, Elizabeth the Second, by the grace of God Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland..." and it is held that Monarchs are "ordained by God."

The authority of the American government, however, derives entirely from the Constitution, and the authority of the Constitution derives entirely from the people. It seems completely impossible that any individual could be considered to be betraying his government by criticising it, when he, in a very real sense, is the government, especially when that government is founded upon the principles of individual freedom and liberty.

The second reason is cultural. In Britain, there never would, nor could, be any suggestion that patriotism could be defined as unconditional support of any one party or administration. Such a suggestion would be greeted with howls of derision. Which is not to say, of course, that some parties haven't tried it.

Patriotism is defined - in England - as loyalty to the Crown. Queen and Country. Okay, you can throw whatever god you want in there, too, if it'll make you happy.

Administrations come and go, Prime Ministers change, the Crown is eternal. Everyone from the military down to the Cub Scouts swear allegiance to the Queen, not to the government.

It is just one advantage of a constitutional monarchy, that the head of State and the head of the government are separate. One can disagree with the government - vocally and often - without ever compromising one's patriotism.

I dislike the current Labour government intensely. I think Tony Blair is a grinning twat who needs constant supervision in order that he not turn Britain into some Orwellian nightmare zone.

But call me unpatriotic for it and you'll have a fight on your hands.

I don't have to support my government in order to be patriotic. In fact, when the government is doing harm to the country, opposition is the only patriotic option.

It is, of course, for Americans to decide for themselves how they define patriotism. Is it loyalty to the constitution? To the founding principles of the country? To the institution of government? To the office of the president? To the actual president? To the party?

Whatever one chooses, blind obedience is never a good thing. Had the Founding Fathers practiced that brand of patriotism, there would be no USA.

A rose by any other name

So, the Americans renamed sauerkraut and hamburgers ("liberty cabbage" and "liberty steaks", respectively) because of WWI. At the same time, the English renamed German Shepherd dogs ("Alsatians"). WWII brought change to the frankfurter ("hot dog") because it, too, is German. The Cold War saw the Turkish change the name of Russian salad ("American salad"). The Americans did it with french fries and french toast ("freedom fries" and freedom toast" respectively) because they were (and still are, according to that metronome of freedom, fairness, impartiality, and journalistic excellence, Fox News) pissed off at the French.

Well, now it's the Iranians' turn. Pissed off at Danish cartoonists drawing pictures of Mohammed, which is, according to certain flavours of Islam, blasphemy, bakers across Tehran are refusing to sell danish pastries and are, instead, selling "Roses of the Prophet Mohammed".

Okay, so you can't draw Mohammed, but it's fine to prostitute his name for the purpose of selling bakery items. Gotcha.

Friday Rodent Blogging

We decided that our lives would be less enjoyable without at least one of these little critters running around, so we'd like you to meet Selene.

She is a gerbil and, at the moment, very tiny - that bowl she's sitting in is about three inches across. She's not bitten me (yet) and I'm working on hand-training her.

Expect many more weeks of cuteness.

Friday Rodent Blogging

Imhotep
March 2003 - Feb 2006

Winter Olympics

So, Britain's finally won a medal in the Winter Olympics.

Woo hoo.

Yeah, I don't care. I'm not even watching. The Winter Olympics is, in my opinion, the pointless bastard half-cousin to the Summer Olympics, which is pointless enough itself. At least with the Summer Olympics we can have the entertainment of watching the latest western Superman with his corporate sponsors and his billion-dollar training regime get whipped by some Kenyan who trains by running around his village for hours every day and who's country's total contribution was a kit and a 'plane fare.

The Winter Olympics are a rich country's sport. Poor countries can't afford to build the ski slopes and bobsled runs necessary to train and can't afford the equipment needed to compete, so you rarely get to see the crushing defeat of 6 Million Dollar Man at the hands of 6.99 Man.

Not only that, but - with the exception of the odd crash - the events are dull as can be.

The same loss of respect that came from the Summer Olympics allowing beach volleyball, came for the Winter Olympics in the snowboarding competitions. And there's so many of them, all of which involve some variation of going down a hill on an ironing board. All of which are completely boring.

Oh, and the Yanks are, to borrow a phrase I've never liked, mad for it. It's amazing. It's being hashed and rehashed on TV 24 hours a day. They're making a big deal about how this year's Team USA has more world champions than any previous team. Whether that's any previous US team or any team from any country is not clear, but it's being bandied about like crazy. Check this, there are twelve pages of US competitors. Three pages of British competitors, too. It makes me wonder what could happen if the money spent to send these teams to Italy were instead channeled into, say, cancer research.

Hell, I wish them, and the GBR team well, but frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

Roll on June.

In Memoriam

We lost Imo today. He'd been ill for a few days, and the vet said he'd had a lung infection, an infected eye, and he found an abscess on the back of his head. We think that the illness, combined with the stress of being taken to the vets and being handled by a stranger, was simply too much for him.

Since I started this blog I've made many jokes at Imo's expense, talking about his evil nature or his plans for world domination, but, whilst it's true he hated me, he was an adorable ball of fur, and we'll miss him very much.

Happy Valentine's Day

@}--V**V-}--


(and if you don't know what that means, this post isn't for you)

Liquor Barn

I snapped this picture whilst travelling around yesterday. Yes, that's a big building. Yes, it says "Liquor Barn" on the front. Yes, it's an off-license. Yes, I love living here.

Final Destination 3

We went to see Final Destination 3 today.

If you've seen Final Destination and Final Destination 2 then there's nothing unusual for the third. If you liked the first two, you'll like the third. If you didn't like the first two, don't bother.

The principle is the same, some teens narrowly avoid an accident thanks to a "vision", and then spend the movie being hunted down by Death in the order that they would have died had they not avoided death via the vision, according to Death's plan.

Clear?

This movie suffers from a bad moment almost at the outset. The accident, this time on a rollercoaster, is caused by one guy dropping his camcorder which gets lodged on the track below. However, after the vision, camcorder boy gets off of the ride. So, therefore, there should have been no camcorder boy on the ride, no dropped camcorder, no accident.

Right?

Which would, weirdly, have made for a better movie as it would have been a departure from the formulaic nature of sequels. The ride could have been completed without incident, which would have missed out on the same old "holy crap he/she was right all along" factor, which would have made the discovery of the whole "Death's plan" aspect all the more fun. We'd know what was going on, but we'd have to wait to find out how the characters are going to figure it out.

Instead, the movie has the accident, despite the cause being removed, and off we go again.

Oh, tiny twist, in an Omenesque piece of cinematic bullhonkery, each character's death is foretold in photographs taken before the ride.

Before the ride?

Yep. One is left with the impression that some other agency is acting to give our teen heroes a chance, the same agency that provides the initial vision. Alas, the movie fails to elaborate on this aspect.

The death scenes come across as more gore, less thought, than the first two installments, and the plot seems a little strained at times.

Worth a watch, just don't expect anything Earth-shatteringly outstanding. Possibly worth renting.

Doombreed rating: ***1/2

Yak Trax

We've had a bout of bad weather here the last week or so (see pic) and I've once again seen the wisdom of buying a decent set of ice walkers.

Around this time last year, Mrs Doombreed and I invested in a set of Yak Trax each, and they're about the best purchase we've ever made.

What's astounding is that they were significantly cheaper than most others available, and yet they're amazing. They simply stretch over the sole of your shoe and provide excellent traction over the smoothest sheet of ice.

Don't go sprinting in them, of course, but normal walking speed is easily possible.

Credit where it's due, Yak Trax are outstanding.

Friday Rodent Blogging

So, having slept in his wheel, run on his wheel, and hidden in his wheel, Imo had decided to climb on his wheel. Why? To carefully test the dastardly human security for weak points, of course.

Freedom shall be mine, mark my words.

(in my head, Imo talks a lot like Stewie from Family Guy)

BBC America

Every so often I have to switch the cable over to BBC America, just to get a taste of home television. Granted, most of what I manage to see are old episodes of Are You Being Served?, but that's fantastic anyway.

The rare occasions when I hit Blackadder episodes are just birthday-like.

Rising petrol prices? What rising petrol prices?

I was rooting through my old picture files and I found this. It is the vehicle used by a fast food chain called "Chick-fil-a", a restaurant that serves chicken and uses cows as its spokespersons, which we've nicknamed "the cowtruck."

It's a Ford F-150 Super Duty, a meaty monster of a truck - as evidenced by its totally failed attempt to fit into a normal-sized parking space.

Eat mor chikin, indeed.

(correction: It's actually a Ford F-350 Super Duty)

Taxing times

All across America right now people are fighting their way through an annual ritual called Tax Time. At the beginning of the year Americans seek to find out whether the income tax they paid the previous year was the right amount, or if they owe more, or if the government owes them a refund.

It's made all the more complicated by the fact that income tax comes in two flavours - federal and state (and some places charge local taxes too) - and either, both, or neither may yield refunds or deficits.

Then you've got to figure your deductions, if any. Amongst many others are things like expenses related to searching for a job, charitable contributions, and the cost of cleaning any uniform your job requires.

Not only that, your income can cover things like lottery winnings or stock dividends, all of which must be taken into account.

Preparing your tax return on your own, for most people, is way too big a headache, so you pay an accounting firm to prepare it for you, which can cost a hundred or so dollars.

Okay, this year my refund amounts to about a grand after paying the accountants, but the hassle is amazing. And that's not like a kind of bonus, that's money I just overpaid throughout last year.

I never thought I'd say it, but I miss Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs department. They figured it all out for us. I miss having a tax code that pre-determines my tax level. I miss simply getting an end of year P60.

And, yeah, there was no end-of-year big refund, but there was no end-of-year big bill, either.

Well shut my mouth...

It seems like picking The Rolling Stones to do the halftime show at yesterday's Superbowl wasn't a safe enough bet, so the organisers censored some of the Stones' lyrics.

Story here.

Oh, and around 500 million people watched the first game of the last FIFA World Cup (2002 Korea/Japan) - and that's the first game, not the final. An estimated 89.6 million people watched last year's Superbowl.

Yes, the figures are estimates, and may not be 100% accurate, but when the opening game nets nearly six times the viewers, the figures don't need to be that accurate.

Superbowl XL: fulltime

Halftime show:

I'd guess that the controversy over Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction" in Superbowl 38 reached even England, so it comes as no surprise that they played safe for 39, bringing in Paul McCartney, and this year we had The Rolling Stones.

No chance of a nipple slip there. Maybe a disc slip.

3rd Quarter:

Steelers 14-10 Seahawks.

This is looking bad for the Steelers.

On the commercial front, the ad of the year is the Bud Clydesdale horses commercial. Amazing.

Fulltime:

Steelers 21-10 Seahawks.

Well, the Steelers plucked it out with an incredible trick play that put the game out of the Seahawks reach. Bill Cowher finally gets his Superbowl title and - if the rumours are true - Jerome Bettis (the Bus) retires this year winning a Superbowl in Detroit, his home town.

Emotional, heart-stopping, unbelievable.

At the presentation of the Vince Lombardi Trophy, The Bus announced that he is, indeed, retiring. What a way to go.

Superbowl XL: halftime

Pre-game:

The game hasn't even started yet and I've already heard three claims that the Superbowl is "the most watched sporting event in the world."

I dunno about you, but I'd bet bits of my anatomy that I can name, off the top of my head, three events that draw more of a viewing crowd.

The Olympics.

The Winter Olympics.

And, oh, say, the FIFA World Cup Final (which, actually is the most watched sporting event in the world, drawing, I understand, almost a billion viewers every time).

Sheesh.

The notion that an Americans-only sporting event could be watched by more people than an international sporting event could only be stated as a fact here in America. Everyone else would just laugh.

End of 1st quarter:

Seahawks are ahead 3-0.

So far the Steelers haven't impressed.

On the advert front, Bud is kicking arse with some hilarious commercials. Burger King shouldn't have bothered, their commercial sucked.

Halftime:

A brilliant run by Big Ben leaves the score Steelers 7-3 Seahawks, which is nice. However, with some controversy over whether Big Ben got in the end zone, if this game comes down to 7pts or less, we'll never hear the end of it.

The ad compo hasn't changed much, Bud is still in the lead, and Diet Pepsi have come out with a new slogan, "Brown and Bubbly" which, to me, sounds like a description of a cesspit. A late entry is Sprint, with the awesome "crime deterrent" spot (to deter crime, throw your phone point blank at people's heads - you really have to see it).

See you at fulltime.

Superbowl XL: pregame

I'm going to be blogging whilst watching the Superbowl today, from the comfort of my couch, feasting upon the Superbowl ... er ... feast prepared by the incomparable Mrs Doombreed.

Just an aside before the game starts:

I've noticed that the one Sunday of the year, which has been overtaken by something other than church, where there is partying and drinking and fun without fictional old men in the sky, that is not challenged nor decried on a regular basis by those who would seek to "keep Sunday for the Lord" and who preach such ridiculous epithets as "Jesus is the reason for the season" at Christmas, is Superbowl Sunday.

I wonder, in my sarcastic way, whether there is some connection between this all-American love of this one date in February and the fact that the various outspoken members of the religious right are almost silent on their usual rant.

The Republican party are in power right now because they appeal to so-called "middle America", and much has been made of the fact that "blue states" (states that are solidly Democrat Party voting) have higher average IQs, levels of education, income, quality of life, etc, than "red states" (states that are solidly Republican voting), which have higher levels of illiteracy and church attendance (and I'm not going to draw any conclusion whatsoever about those two points).

Annoying "middle America" by attacking the most American date in the most American sport would be political suicide. It seems that principles wither and die in the face of politics everywhere.

Anyway, all that aside, the game starts in an hour and a half or so, and I'm pulling for the Steelers.

And I'm especially looking forward to the real Superbowl competition - the Superbowl ad campaigns.

See you at halftime.

The 2006 State Of The Union Address...

...if it had been delivered by a pirate.

This is why they invented the internet.

Friday Rodent Blogging (belated)

Okay, I am in trouble. I was so messed up what with having two days off midweek, not to mention the migraine and the missed blogging, that I forgot yesterday was friday, and so, missed Friday Rodent Blogging.

Imo is not happy with me. He counts on his weekly exposure to the world in order to pass on messages to his devoted followers cunningly concealed in the form of different arrangements in his fur, specially shaped and placed pieces of cardboard, and a code key hidden in the way he holds his whiskers.

The Gerbil World Domination Plan has been set back a week. My sincerest apologies.

Spend Money Or You Don't Love Me Day (Feb 14th)

Valentine's Day is coming up, but I tend to dislike that kind of hallmark holiday, designed to make one buy cards and gifts. I prefer to celebrate the love I have for my wife, and the love she has for me, every day of the year. It cheapens it to only celebrate it one day.

My wife is the most wonderful woman on the planet - or in the universe. She is smart, beautiful, sexy, kind, loving, caring and considerate. I am the luckiest man in the world.

Even if you are propositioned by the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, and spend the evening playing hide the salami in a vat of caramel and vanilla ice cream, before going on to judge a "most skillful cocksucker" contest, and then, whilst walking home, have a multi-million dollar winning lottery ticket blow into your face, I am still luckier than you. That's how wonderful Mrs Doombreed is.

I was the luckiest guy in the world the day I met her, and I just got luckier the day she agreed to marry me.

And I don't need it to be Valentine's Day to say it.

I love you, Mrs Doombreed, and I am happy beyond words that I have you to share my life with.*

*None of which, of course, means that Mrs Doombreed will miss out on Valentine's Day, where gifts, cards, and general, all-round treating-her-like-the-Empress-she-is will occur with almost sickening abandon.

That's a first

Well, I missed last night's blogging, a first for me. Still, that's what happens when you come down with a migraine and spend the night with your head down the loo. Mmmm... most pleasant.

So here is the blog I had already written to post last night:

My wife has a thing for board games, and in an effort to get some more "classic" games, she went to the local charity thrift store to see what was available second hand.

She bought a lot of games, but we were left with one burning question:

What kind of sadistic fuck gives a "Yahtzee" game to a charity store without a single fucking dice in the box?

Okay, I'm a gamer, so I have a ton of dice lying around, but that's not the point.

Arse.

A lot of bull

Last night I saw the most outstanding video clip ever filmed anywhere in the world, ever, in the history of mankind, ever.

It was filmed at a bullfight in Spain. Now, I hate bullfighting. It isn't a sport. It's not fun to watch. Yeah, it's dangerous - but mainly for the bull. And it's just so enjoyable when the bull gets some payback.

Normally we would get to see the bull maybe lay a horn or a hoof on some luckless matador. Sometimes, the bull gets enough licks in to hospitalise one of his tormentors. And, yes, occasionally, someone gets killed (but any sympathy from me must be reserved for the bull, which always gets killed, and which has no choice in being there).

What happened in Spain yesterday was the ultimate in nature biting back.

An enraged bull - at this point, virtually unharmed - did what nobody thought possible - it vaulted the fence.

Oh yeah, that's right. Over a ton of extremely pissed off muscle with two great horns on the front, landed slap bang in the middle of the crowd that was baying for his blood.

Normally when you see an animal in this situation - surrounded by screaming, panicking humans - the animal starts to panic, too. Most of the injuries in this kind of situation come from the animal trying frantically to find a way out.

But not this time. This bull was pissed. He was charging around, trampling people, goring people, not making any effort to escape, just causing havoc.

Dozens of people were seriously injured. I'm not a believer in Karma, but it should be obvious that if they hadn't been there at this barbaric event, they wouldn't have been hurt, so I don't care.

The report ended with the note that the bull was later destroyed. But hey, he was going to be killed anyway, and was probably killed in a more humane way than the slow torture he was facing.

Which is why I love seeing one of these stories. I want to get a "go bull!" t-shirt, cap, and flag so I can sit on the couch and cheer for the animal.

Hell, this one was so awesome that I was tempted to leap to my feet and start a friggin' wave.

Flightplan

We just finished watching Flightplan, Jodie Foster's new flick. It's all-round pretty good, very watchable, well worth wasting an evening to watch.

And it's especially nice to see Sean Bean make it to the end of a movie without getting killed. Nice job, Sean, we knew you had it in you.

Doombreed rating: ****1/2

Life's full of these little disappointments

One if the major drawbacks of being an atheist is that we lack the smugness of other religious positions.

See, if one is a Christian, one can observe other religious positions with a feeling that, come death, they will find out the folly of their ways. When they find themselves face to face with God, being judged, they will realise their mistake. And the same can be said for other religions, whether one believes in Allah's divine judgment, or in the grace of Yaweh, or in the inevitability of another turn on the wheel of life.

But atheists have no such position to look forward to. After all, when you die, you die. There's no "you" left to realise that you were wrong. It's over, done, finito.

The Christian that dies, in the "sure and certain hope of resurrection" (and it doesn't take a genius to see the contradiction in that quote), will never see their error, because there is no "they" to see it.

Just random meanderings from an atheist who likes to look on the ironic side of life a little too much.

A giant leap for blogkind

I've just laid my hands on an AlphaSmart Pro, so I'm writing this from the comfort of my sofa, and later on I'll hook it up to the computer and upload the text.

This is going to make blogging much more "real time."

Which is completely pointless, yet fun.

Bleh

It's late Sunday night and I have to be up at 0615 to go to work tomorrow. Oh what fun. So, just to be quick, here's a link. A link that might make you laugh. A link that will waste perfectly good time. Which you should be spending doing important things. Like working. Who'm I kidding? Go look.

And, despite the title, the link is suitable for work.

SPANK THE MONKEY!!!

Okay, seeing as you've been good, here's another link. And this one is bloody and a bit tastless, but no nudity or anything like that:

BLOODY PINGU THROW!!!

Now go play.

More garbage from the anti-choice mob

The right, who have, with Alito's nomination still unconfirmed, been unable - yet - to stack the Supreme Court with enough of their ilk to overturn Roe v Wade (the 60's landmark Supreme Court case which acknowledged a woman's right to control her body in the area of abortions) have many other irons in the fire. Their latest piece of idiocy is that pharmacists are allowed, in most states, to refuse to fill prescriptions for birth control or emergency "morning-after" pills, if doing so goes against their religious beliefs.

What a crock. What next? "Police Officer refuses to arrest a fellow Christian"? "Firefighter refuses to rescue Moslems from blazing building"? "Paramedic refuses to give mouth-to-mouth to Jew"? "Doctor refuses to resuscitate Atheist"? How about "video store employee refuses to serve black customer"? Sound so reasonable now?

No, of course not. But pharmacists want "the right to choose".

Hey, you already have the right to choose. Choose to fill the prescription or choose to find a new job. It's that simple.

Friday Rodent Blogging

Imo, who has, apparently, read (or chewed, at least) a book on the art of camouflage.

Hate in the guise of charity

News of a French group - called Bloc Identitaire - reaches my ears (or, rather, eyes) which is rushing out to provide hot soup to the nation's homeless whilst the continent is in the grip of the worst winter in decades.

Nice.

Except they're giving out soup made from pork. Now, if this was a mistake, it'd be bad. But it's deliberate. It's deliberately done because Block Identitaire is a far-right white-supremacist group who knows that both Moslems and Jews are forbidden from eating pork. And they're not even trying to play innocent, they openly admit it.

Don't get me wrong, Bloc Identitaire has the right to be narrow-minded, ignorant, bigoted arseholes if they wish. That is their prerogative. But their ignorance may be their undoing in the case of Moslems. See, the Koran prohibits the eating of pork, but says "But if one is forced by necessity, without willful disobedience, nor transgressing due limits, then Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."

So, a homeless Moslem, in a situation where it's eat pork or die, is allowed to eat.

Shoulda researched that better, hmmm?

Thumbs up for HRH Henry

So, the news has broken that Prince Henry, he of the "younger son of the future King" fame, is to join the Household Cavalry. At first glance, the Household Cavalry - who most people consider to be simply the Life Guards (the guys with all the shiny on horses outside Buckingham Palace) - seems like a typical, cushy, never-see-action choice appropriate to a young member of the Royal Family. But don't get smug, because he's actually going to join The Blues And Royals, a unit that is most definitely a combat unit.

As well as boasting a history going back to the 17th century, they've seen action all over the globe, most recently in The Falkland Islands, Bosnia, Kosovo, and Iraq. And in the modern world where massive MBTs and anti-tank weapons bristle just about everywhere, it takes some guts to hurtle around in, what is basically, a tin box on tracks like the Scimitar or Spartan.

Maybe Harry is more his mother's son than it might first appear, or maybe it's the influence of having an ex-SAS officer as personal secretary, but both Harry and his brother are shaping up okay. This bodes well for a future without an English President.

(In case anyone didn't get it, Doombreed is a die-hard Royalist.)

Underworld Evolution

WOW. Mrs Doombreed and I went to see Underworld Evolution today, and it was amazing. It's one of those rare sequels that lives up to the original. The storyline is excellent, the action scenes as violent and fluid as ever, the ongoing revelation of Selene's backstory is intriguing, the history and origin of the vampire/lycan feud is explained in greater detail, and Kate Beckinsale looks sexier than ever in that outfit.

Doombreed rating: *****

Warning: potential spoiler below:






My only problem with the plot lies here:

If you wanted to lock up an immortal being "for all eternity" (direct quite from the movie) why would you create a key for the prison you put him in, no matter how ornate or devious? I mean, "all eternity" kinda implies you never want him released, so why would you even bother with a key? Right? Okay, it'd make for a short movie, but...

News from the land of the bizarre

A woman from Illinois has been jailed for leaving her three kids - all under the age of 5 - at home alone while she went to the taping of The Jerry Springer Show. That she'd gone only became apparent after the three kids went over to a neighbour's house when they got hungry after their mother had been gone for five hours. Over four hours later, she returned home to be arrested.

She said "I didn't think I'd be gone that long."

Okay then. That makes it all okay.

Is anybody surprised that it was Jerry Springer?

Nancyboys and Fairies League

So, I watched both of the championship games today. The AFC Steelers-Broncos was first, then the NFC Seahawks-Panthers.

Considering that both games were supposed to represent the two best teams in their respective conferences, both games were - well - boring. In both games it almost seemed like the losing team didn't care and the winning team were just walking all over them.

Still, we'll see how the Seahawks do - without their "12th man" (the Seattle home crowd bellowing so loud that the visiting team can't hear the plays being called) - when they travel to Detroit in two weeks time to take on the mighty steamroller that is the Steelers in the superbowl. Because it's a road game for both teams, the Seahawks' "12th man" won't be in dominance and the crowd will be pretty much 50/50 Seahawks/Steelers.

Y'know, I've only been watching this game for a few years, but even I can remember when home teams used to get penalised if their fans were so noisy that the visitors couldn't hear the play calling or the audible pre-snap counts, especially if the home team were encouraging them. Now Seattle even has a #12 flag that they raise in honour of their fans doing precisely that.

Maybe we'll see if Seattle really deserves to be there.

News from the land of the bizarre

Here's a story:

A women went into a Florida hospital to have a baby. After the baby was born she was told she'd caught a streptococcus infection - a bacterial infection routinely treated with antibiotics - and she was moved to another facility where they cut off her arms and legs. And now she's having to file a lawsuit to find out why the hospital deemed quadruple amputation was necessary - because they refuse to tell her.

Think I made it up?

Truth is, indeed, stranger than fiction.

Friday Rodent Blogging

Y'know, Imo's an old man. He's old. If he were human he'd be buying a zimmer frame, yelling at people to speak up and telling stories about his memories of the war. The Boer War.

Yet he still finds the energy to run on that damn wheel of his. And look at him, ears back, tail high, eyes slitted, legs a-pumpin'.

He's keeping in shape.

For what, we're not quite sure. It's probably the end-stage of some evil plan or other. Soon comes the day when we'll be forced to bow before our gerbil masters.

Or something.

And now for a nicer hamster story

This is a picture of Aochan, a rat snake living in a Japanese zoo, with Gohan, a hamster that was fed to the snake. In October.

Apparently, Aochan refused to eat Gohan and the pair now share a cage with every indication that they enjoy each other's company. Gohan has even been observed falling asleep draped across a creature that should send him scurrying into a corner, screeching in terror.

And this kind of thing itsn't unprecedented. Witness the lioness that keeps adopting baby antelopes.

Not quite lions and lambs, but it's no wonder that the nutbars think we're living in the Last Days.

Or maybe it's simply proof of Sir Arthur Eddington's famous postulation that "not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine."

Yeah, you're scum

Apparently two students got drunk one night and decided to wrap up a hamster in an envelope and send it through the post.

Yeah, it's illegal, but it's also cruel.

Students. That means they go to college. Cambridge University, in fact. Shit, never has the term "educated idiot" seemed so appropriate. The Beeb article neglects to mention what subject the pair of morons are studying, but it's a sad statement of our education system that one of the top Universities in the country boasts idiots like this in the classes.

The hamster, named "First Class" by the post office, is okay and was discovered by the postie who emptied the pillar box. First Class had chewed her way out of the envelope she'd been sealed in, and had the postie not spotted her, would have died in the sorting machine.

Yeah, you're scum. Check out the pictures. Fuckin' Hooray Henries.

Hi, I'm Doombreed and I'm a child

Mrs Doombreed and I went to the cinema yesterday. What did we see? Was it Hostel, a bloody gorefest from the mind of Tarantino? Was it King Kong, an effects-packed event movie? Was it Brokeback Mountain, the gay cowboy movie that has the religious right up in arms? Was it Munich, the hot thriller about the revenge bombings for the massacre of the Israeli Olympic team? Was it Glory Road, the socio-political drama about the first all-black college basketball team?

Nope. We went to see Hoodwinked. Which is a kids movie. Animated. About Red Riding Hood. And a plot to steal the recipes for all the goodies in the forest. Being investigated by a frog in a suit.

And I loved every second of it. It was hilarious, it was slick, it had the guy who voiced Kronk in The Emperor's New Groove as the voice of The Big Bad Wolf.

I'm Doombreed, and I'm a child.

And if you're a child, no matter what your chronological age, I heartily recommend Hoodwinked.

Doombreed rating: *****

P.s. Next week is Underworld: Evolution. Sweet.

Quit whining

Today's coverage of yesterday's Steelers-Colts game might have left the unsuspecting reader with the impression that the Steelers lost the game. Certainly, they're whining about it as if they lost.

Steelers' linebacker Joey Porter said, of a decision by the referee to overturn an interception by Troy Polamalu:

"I know they wanted Indy to win the game; the whole world loves Peyton Manning, but come on, man, don't take the game away from us like that."

Two articles in my local newspaper contain several similar accusations of bias or incompetence. What stuns me is that during the game, the refereeing was - if anything - biased against the Colts. A typical example was, early in the first quarter, a Colts defensive player was flagged for "facemasking" (grabbing an opponent's facemask), despite the fact that it was the Steelers' receiver he was tackling who was doing the facemasking.

The game stats show the truth. Nine flags thrown against Indianapolis for a total of sixty-seven yards in penalties, two flags thrown against Pittsburgh for eight yards in penalties. Gee, that's some biased-towards-Indianapolis refereeing.

The Polamalu interception? I understood the explanation for it being overturned, even if many pundits around the country didn't. Polamalu caught the ball as he went to the ground. The rules require that he controls the ball until he gets back to his feet. If at any time he loses the ball, it's incomplete. He lost the ball before he could get back up.

See? It's that simple. And if a Brit that's been living here in the US for only a few years can get it, why are all these Yanks so mystified? Even the NFL themselves don't seem to understand why the call was made. Yep, the NFL broke with tradition and publicly criticised the decision of one of its referees. That's how much the whole world wanted the Colts to win.

And, y'know ...

It's all a moot point anyway because the decision made no difference to the game and the Steelers won anyway!

I could understand all this bellyaching if the Colts had won, but they didn't. They lost. Quit whining.

Bleh

Well, that was a depressing Sunday.

Both the Colts and the Bears went tumbling out of the playoffs, despite both teams making a late rally and counterattack.

What especially pissed me off was Terry Bradshaw (who was once a quarterback for the Steelers) having a go at Peyton Manning (quarterback for the Colts) because he said in the post-game press conference that there had been "some pass protection problems."

(simply put: Between the quarterback and the defensive guys is a group of guys called "the offensive line". They have two jobs: On a running play they have to push the defensive guys out of the way so the guy running with the ball can get through; and on passing plays they have to keep the defensive guys away from the quarterback long enough for some guys to get downfield in position to catch a pass. That second job is called "pass protection" for obvious reasons. When pass protection fails, the defensive guys get through and tackle the quarterback (a "sack"), or at least cause him to throw the ball before he or his receivers are ready)

The pass protection for the Colts sucked today. And remember, when the pass protection fails, it's the quarterback who's eating turf play after play. So, yeah, Manning had the right to be a little bit pissed that every time he turned around there were Steelers in his face, and the fact that he controlled himself and described this farce as "some pass protection problems" is admirable.

Bradshaw, now a pre- and post-game pundit, held forth about how the quarterback, as the leader of the team, shouldn't be publicly criticising them.

Fuck that. His offensive line needs to know that they suck and suck bad. They should be lambasted in every form of media for their complete lack of ability.

Instead, they'll blame Mike Vanderjagt, the kicker, for missing the last-gasp equalising field-goal. People will remember the ball going sailing off to the right of the goalposts, but what they'll probably forget is that it was a kick that Vanderjagt should never have had to make and wouldn't have had to, had the Colts been playing like the Colts.

As for the Bears, they played bloody well considering their quarterback was only on his fourth professional game, and had only played once before this season. The Bears can at least have the satisfaction of knowing they played as well as they could have been expected to.

Nancyboys and Fairies League

I watched the Denver-New England game. Some background may be in order. The New England Patriots have won the last two superbowls, and three out of the last four. And they've been insufferable for it. They even went into this game claiming they'd found a way to beat Denver. So anyone who knows me will immediately be able to pick out which team I was rooting for.

Not only did New England's secret plan not work, Denver pretty much buried them. Nicely done.

Today I was a Denver fan. Tomorrow I'll be an Indianapolis Colts fan. And the Chicago Bears. Gotta love the Bears.

Hilarious II

This actually IS too funny. I almost died whilst reading it. Warning: Not for those with weak hearts or diseases of the lung.

Hilarious

This is almost too funny.

And don't start thinking it's cruel. I bet that dog's having the time of its life.

Friday Rodent Blogging

Wooaaah! Extreme close-up! Imo does his Wayne's World bit.

This is nice

The government in Britain is expected to relax Sunday trading laws, allowing businesses to open longer. I know, I know, I'm an atheist, so I'm bound to like this. But maybe not for the reasons you might think. I have no problem with those that want to treat Sunday as something special. If you want to go to church, go. If you want to spend the day praying, pray. If you want to strip naked and smear yourself in bacon grease, go right ahead.

Just don't force me to participate.

Here's a quote from the article:

Ministers want to relax the curbs after pressure from supermarket chains, which want the Government to bring England and Wales into line with Scotland, where there are no restrictions. But the move faces opposition from small traders and religious groups who want to "keep Sunday special".

The "small traders", I get. At the moment, when the big shops close, the small shops get big business, and relaxing Sunday trading laws would impact that. But this "keep Sunday special" crap annoys me. It's as if people think that they can't have a special day of the week without the muscle of the government enforcing it. Here's a thought - be an independent adult human being and take control of your own life. If you want Sunday to be special - or, indeed, any day of the week, or, if it comes to that, any day of the year, or, in extremis, every day of the year - make it so. Don't force your superstitions on me, and don't force me to pay to police our forced observance of your superstitions.

The True and Unalterable Word Of God

Until we want to change it.

Oops.. Didn't think that through, did we?

Remember the furore over the leaked memos claiming Bush 'n' Blair discussed the possibility of bombing the headquarters of Arabic news station Al Jazeera?

Remember how both Bush 'n' co and Blair 'n' co claimed the memos were fabrications? Utterly false? "Outlandish and unbelievable"?

Well, the two guys responsible for the documents' exposure are being charged under the Official Secrets Act.

Tiny problem.

They can only be charged if the documents are genuine.

Y'know, because if they're, like, fakes, then they're not, y'know, like, official secrets, are they?

Oops.

Naughty link time

I post this link not out of any slobbery adolescent slave Leia fantasies (which I don't have, no sir, not me) but simply for information purposes. Anyone who has a desperate need to buy or make their very own slave Leia costume can find out how at Leia's Metal Bikini.

Stop looking at the pics, people. Sheesh.

I KNEW it!

All those times I've been criticised for being a slow riser in the mornings are finally laid to rest. I'm not lazy, I'm simply protecting the world from the dangers of my sleep inertia which is, according to a new study, every bit as mentally debilitating and potentialy dangerous as drunkenness.

So there.

Palmer accepts apology

Carson Palmer has accepted Kimo von Oelhoffen's apology for the hit that ended his, and probably the Bengals', season today. Van Oelhoffen's hit, which is described in that second article as an "unintentionally firm tug", sent Palmer out on the second snap of the game.

"I'm not gonna lie, it affected me a little bit," von Oelhoffen said. "That kid deserved a shot to play in this game. It's always horrible when somebody gets hurt. We're all football players -- we're together, we compete against each other, but we're together."

[...]

"How would it affect you if you had just torn one of the most promising quarterback's knees out? You do not like to see that happen. But he'll rebound," von Oelhoffen said. "He's young and he's going to be around for a long time. ... I hope he gets better because he's a great player."

The Steelers, though, are getting pissed at suggestions that had Palmer played, the result would have been different.

What several Steelers disliked was the insinuation that the injury greatly influenced the game, and that they needed something like that to win in Cincinnati, where they have won five of their last six.

"I'm not going to sit here and let that be a reason to spoil our victory, Carson not playing," linebacker Joey Porter said of the Steelers' 14th victory in 17 road games over the last two seasons. "This is the NFL and people get hurt; it's not the first time someone's got hurt in a game. We've had people get hurt all year. You take your wounds and keep on ticking."

The Steelers played four games without their own starting quarterback, Ben Roethlisberger, with two knee injuries, and left tackle Marvel Smith also missed substantial time.

"We came away with a victory. If Palmer had played, I think the same thing would have happened," Porter said.

I guess we'll never know. But one thing's for sure, it couldn't have been any worse with Palmer playing.

Bengals 17-31 Steelers

Yeah, so, okay. When I started this Bengals trip I did say that I expected them to play like England. Today I was proved right.

First, we have the strong start. Two plays in, Palmer fires a 60-odd yard missile downfield which Henry catches right on the money. Unfortunately, not only does this play take Henry out, who landed badly after a tackle, but a Steelers defensive player "accidentally" grabbed Palmer's ankle, then "accidentally" slammed his shoulder into his knee, a knee which "coincidently" happened to be Palmer's bum-recently-seriously-injured knee. Bye-bye Carson, see you next season. Yeah, I admit it, I'm having a little difficulty seeing such a fortuitous (for the Steelers) event, which seemed so unlikely and so deliberate, as accidental. But, whatever.

Bengals backup comes out. I didn't even bother memorising his name. Jon something-or-other. And, well, hope was maintained. For about a quarter and maybe half of the second quarter. Cincy took the lead. The defense was almost everything that the season had promised. The offense were making plays. Jon what's-his-name was moving the chains and scoring points. Dreams of a matchup in Indy were surfacing.

And then, half-time.

That's when the Bengals went home and sent out the Ohio State Varsity Girls Volleyball Team (B-squad) in their uniforms.

Jon whatever-the-hell-his-name-was couldn't hit a cow's arse with a shovel, and that's when he could be bothered to throw. Most of the time he was merrily trotting around the backfield waiting for the Steelers' defensive line to get bored enough to sack him. One play, he was so well protected whilst looking downfield and apparently not seeing three - count 'em, three - open receivers waiting for a throw that he fumbled the ball. I shit you not. Twenty yards away from the nearest Steelers guy, standing completely in the open, he just .. drops the ball. Must have run into some sort of fly-type insect or something.

Pretty much the only successful throws he made were to guys in black helmets. Hint: You're supposed to be throwing to the guys whose helmets look like tigers, y'know, orange and black stripes?

Meanwhile, the defense manfully tried to stop a Steelers offense that includes a guy called, and the size of, "The Bus", who was pounding up the turf as fast as he was pounding up the Bengals. Tried, with limited success. The Sleelers offense even got so cocky and relaxed that they started trying out circus-trick plays to impress the crowd. And scoring from them.

And, with all the predictability and inevitability of an England-Germany World Cup quarter- or semi-final, the clock ground down and my team were stuffed and mounted.

But, once again, like England, we were crap, but not that crap. At least we scored, eh, Giants?

June. Germany 2006. A chance to live it all again.

Can't wait.

The God FAQ

Ever wanted a place to answer all your questions about religion? All those questions about various deities answered in simple, no-nonsense terms? A place to go when your faith is troubled?

Look no more:

The Official God FAQ.

Friday Rodent Blogging

This is Imo, who is Not Talking To Us.

He is Not Talking To Us because we cleaned out his cage. Gerbils need their bedding changed less than hamsters do, so by the time Imo's cage needs cleaning out he's usually amassed a fairly sizable pile of chewed up cardboard, which he digs in, sleeps in and, yes, prepares to ambush me from. So, when we remove it, he spends the first hour or so Not Talking To Us. Then he gets down to the business of re-stockpiling.

Reaching into his cage during this hour of Not Talking To Us was recently rejected by the makers of Fear Factor as being "way too life-threatening" and "beyond insanity".

Robertson opens mouth again

Pat Robertson, founder and host of TV's most prominent religious nonsense show, The 700 Club, self-styled mouthpiece of God, all-round annoyance to anyone with a brain, and source of such brilliantly Christian rants as "we should assassinate Hugo Chavez", "9/11 was caused by gays and feminists", "Judges appointed by the Democrat Party are a greater threat to America than Al-Qaeda", and "people who live in Dover, PA, are damned to hell for upholding the Constitution", as well as such wonderful examples of pure, solid, logical thinking as "Hurricane Katrina was caused by abortions" and "Atheism is a religion" has opened his mouth again, and it's all true to form.

God gave Ariel Sharon a stroke as punishment.

Okay, it sounds like the tagline of a bizarre BDSM movie, but, yes, Pat believes Sharon got laid low by that ole time wrath of God.

Pat Robertson is living, breating, bullshitting proof that there is no God.

As Calvin said; "I find it hard to believe in God when some people haven't been struck by lightning."

In this hellbound Atheist's opinion, anyway...

Neil Gaiman

Gaiman is fast becoming one of my favourite writers. I first encountered his work via one of my other favourite writers, Terry Pratchett, with whom Gaiman collaborated on the excellent Good Omens, a typically Pratchettesque - which pretty much just means funny and irreverent - novel about the apocalypse.

From there, I bought Neverwhere, an absolute must-read for anyone who's spent any time traveling on the Tube. American Gods was borrowed from my local library, and I just purchased Smoke And Mirrors with a gift card that the exquisite Mrs Doombreed gave me for Christmas.

He's worth checking out, if mindbending weirdness and challenging, intelligent fiction is your cup of tea.

Pic added

I decided to add a pic and, disdaining the unleashing of any pictures of The Horror That Is Doombreed upon the world, I decided to resurrect my old forum-posting avatar, suitably altered with the addition of a Bengals helmet and the legend "WHO DEY?", the Bengals warcry.

Cool.

The Raven Armoury

Searching through my "favorites" folder the other night, I uncovered an old and dusty link to the Raven Armoury.

The Raven Armoury, as well as being responsible for the Golden Demon Slayer Sword awarded to the winner of each year's Golden Demon UK championship, have an oustanding array of sharp pointy things made using traditional methods and materials. So exacting is their craftmanship that they currently have a waiting list over three years long on most commissions, and their stuff can run into thousands of pounds.

But find something you like, such as the various versions of Snaga the Sender - The Axe Of The Deathwalker, and suddenly it all seems worth it...

Excuse me whilst I go wipe the drool from my chin.

"Prove Christ Existed"

Oh, now this should be good. An Italian court has ordered that a priest appear to prove that Christ existed.

Theists have long argued that there is ample evidence that Christ - or, at least, some form of god - exists, and that it would be a simple matter to prove such to the satisfaction of a court of law. This is, of course, bull, but it doesn't stop the claim.

Once you dismiss the entire bible as inadmissible hearsay, with the caveat that it was, for over a thousand years, in the sole keeping of an organisation with a vested interest in promoting it as truth, you're left with non-biblical sources.

Namely; Josephus - the Jewish historian whose writings we have three versions of: the one that comes to us via the Vatican which calls Christ "a doer of wonderful works", the one that comes to us via the Jewish church which doesn't mention Christ at all, and the one that comes to us via archaeology, written in Arabic, which describes Christ as a "charlatan"; and Tacticus - the Roman historian who mentions "Christus", but fails to even mention - even to debunk - any rumour of any hint of any belief concerning any supernaturalism about the man.

Add zero archaeological evidence of the man himself - and even the Vatican admits that the Turin Shroud is a fake - nor any other records, and you've really got a lost cause.

Still, it'll be interesting to see how this one plays out.

Bengals 3-37 Chiefs

Well, this was not the Bengals finest hour.

Still, in the playoffs anyway. First game is at home against the Steelers, which should be fun.

11-5-0