Rising petrol prices? What rising petrol prices?

I was rooting through my old picture files and I found this. It is the vehicle used by a fast food chain called "Chick-fil-a", a restaurant that serves chicken and uses cows as its spokespersons, which we've nicknamed "the cowtruck."

It's a Ford F-150 Super Duty, a meaty monster of a truck - as evidenced by its totally failed attempt to fit into a normal-sized parking space.

Eat mor chikin, indeed.

(correction: It's actually a Ford F-350 Super Duty)

Taxing times

All across America right now people are fighting their way through an annual ritual called Tax Time. At the beginning of the year Americans seek to find out whether the income tax they paid the previous year was the right amount, or if they owe more, or if the government owes them a refund.

It's made all the more complicated by the fact that income tax comes in two flavours - federal and state (and some places charge local taxes too) - and either, both, or neither may yield refunds or deficits.

Then you've got to figure your deductions, if any. Amongst many others are things like expenses related to searching for a job, charitable contributions, and the cost of cleaning any uniform your job requires.

Not only that, your income can cover things like lottery winnings or stock dividends, all of which must be taken into account.

Preparing your tax return on your own, for most people, is way too big a headache, so you pay an accounting firm to prepare it for you, which can cost a hundred or so dollars.

Okay, this year my refund amounts to about a grand after paying the accountants, but the hassle is amazing. And that's not like a kind of bonus, that's money I just overpaid throughout last year.

I never thought I'd say it, but I miss Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs department. They figured it all out for us. I miss having a tax code that pre-determines my tax level. I miss simply getting an end of year P60.

And, yeah, there was no end-of-year big refund, but there was no end-of-year big bill, either.

Well shut my mouth...

It seems like picking The Rolling Stones to do the halftime show at yesterday's Superbowl wasn't a safe enough bet, so the organisers censored some of the Stones' lyrics.

Story here.

Oh, and around 500 million people watched the first game of the last FIFA World Cup (2002 Korea/Japan) - and that's the first game, not the final. An estimated 89.6 million people watched last year's Superbowl.

Yes, the figures are estimates, and may not be 100% accurate, but when the opening game nets nearly six times the viewers, the figures don't need to be that accurate.

Superbowl XL: fulltime

Halftime show:

I'd guess that the controversy over Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction" in Superbowl 38 reached even England, so it comes as no surprise that they played safe for 39, bringing in Paul McCartney, and this year we had The Rolling Stones.

No chance of a nipple slip there. Maybe a disc slip.

3rd Quarter:

Steelers 14-10 Seahawks.

This is looking bad for the Steelers.

On the commercial front, the ad of the year is the Bud Clydesdale horses commercial. Amazing.

Fulltime:

Steelers 21-10 Seahawks.

Well, the Steelers plucked it out with an incredible trick play that put the game out of the Seahawks reach. Bill Cowher finally gets his Superbowl title and - if the rumours are true - Jerome Bettis (the Bus) retires this year winning a Superbowl in Detroit, his home town.

Emotional, heart-stopping, unbelievable.

At the presentation of the Vince Lombardi Trophy, The Bus announced that he is, indeed, retiring. What a way to go.

Superbowl XL: halftime

Pre-game:

The game hasn't even started yet and I've already heard three claims that the Superbowl is "the most watched sporting event in the world."

I dunno about you, but I'd bet bits of my anatomy that I can name, off the top of my head, three events that draw more of a viewing crowd.

The Olympics.

The Winter Olympics.

And, oh, say, the FIFA World Cup Final (which, actually is the most watched sporting event in the world, drawing, I understand, almost a billion viewers every time).

Sheesh.

The notion that an Americans-only sporting event could be watched by more people than an international sporting event could only be stated as a fact here in America. Everyone else would just laugh.

End of 1st quarter:

Seahawks are ahead 3-0.

So far the Steelers haven't impressed.

On the advert front, Bud is kicking arse with some hilarious commercials. Burger King shouldn't have bothered, their commercial sucked.

Halftime:

A brilliant run by Big Ben leaves the score Steelers 7-3 Seahawks, which is nice. However, with some controversy over whether Big Ben got in the end zone, if this game comes down to 7pts or less, we'll never hear the end of it.

The ad compo hasn't changed much, Bud is still in the lead, and Diet Pepsi have come out with a new slogan, "Brown and Bubbly" which, to me, sounds like a description of a cesspit. A late entry is Sprint, with the awesome "crime deterrent" spot (to deter crime, throw your phone point blank at people's heads - you really have to see it).

See you at fulltime.

Superbowl XL: pregame

I'm going to be blogging whilst watching the Superbowl today, from the comfort of my couch, feasting upon the Superbowl ... er ... feast prepared by the incomparable Mrs Doombreed.

Just an aside before the game starts:

I've noticed that the one Sunday of the year, which has been overtaken by something other than church, where there is partying and drinking and fun without fictional old men in the sky, that is not challenged nor decried on a regular basis by those who would seek to "keep Sunday for the Lord" and who preach such ridiculous epithets as "Jesus is the reason for the season" at Christmas, is Superbowl Sunday.

I wonder, in my sarcastic way, whether there is some connection between this all-American love of this one date in February and the fact that the various outspoken members of the religious right are almost silent on their usual rant.

The Republican party are in power right now because they appeal to so-called "middle America", and much has been made of the fact that "blue states" (states that are solidly Democrat Party voting) have higher average IQs, levels of education, income, quality of life, etc, than "red states" (states that are solidly Republican voting), which have higher levels of illiteracy and church attendance (and I'm not going to draw any conclusion whatsoever about those two points).

Annoying "middle America" by attacking the most American date in the most American sport would be political suicide. It seems that principles wither and die in the face of politics everywhere.

Anyway, all that aside, the game starts in an hour and a half or so, and I'm pulling for the Steelers.

And I'm especially looking forward to the real Superbowl competition - the Superbowl ad campaigns.

See you at halftime.

The 2006 State Of The Union Address...

...if it had been delivered by a pirate.

This is why they invented the internet.

Friday Rodent Blogging (belated)

Okay, I am in trouble. I was so messed up what with having two days off midweek, not to mention the migraine and the missed blogging, that I forgot yesterday was friday, and so, missed Friday Rodent Blogging.

Imo is not happy with me. He counts on his weekly exposure to the world in order to pass on messages to his devoted followers cunningly concealed in the form of different arrangements in his fur, specially shaped and placed pieces of cardboard, and a code key hidden in the way he holds his whiskers.

The Gerbil World Domination Plan has been set back a week. My sincerest apologies.

Spend Money Or You Don't Love Me Day (Feb 14th)

Valentine's Day is coming up, but I tend to dislike that kind of hallmark holiday, designed to make one buy cards and gifts. I prefer to celebrate the love I have for my wife, and the love she has for me, every day of the year. It cheapens it to only celebrate it one day.

My wife is the most wonderful woman on the planet - or in the universe. She is smart, beautiful, sexy, kind, loving, caring and considerate. I am the luckiest man in the world.

Even if you are propositioned by the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, and spend the evening playing hide the salami in a vat of caramel and vanilla ice cream, before going on to judge a "most skillful cocksucker" contest, and then, whilst walking home, have a multi-million dollar winning lottery ticket blow into your face, I am still luckier than you. That's how wonderful Mrs Doombreed is.

I was the luckiest guy in the world the day I met her, and I just got luckier the day she agreed to marry me.

And I don't need it to be Valentine's Day to say it.

I love you, Mrs Doombreed, and I am happy beyond words that I have you to share my life with.*

*None of which, of course, means that Mrs Doombreed will miss out on Valentine's Day, where gifts, cards, and general, all-round treating-her-like-the-Empress-she-is will occur with almost sickening abandon.

That's a first

Well, I missed last night's blogging, a first for me. Still, that's what happens when you come down with a migraine and spend the night with your head down the loo. Mmmm... most pleasant.

So here is the blog I had already written to post last night:

My wife has a thing for board games, and in an effort to get some more "classic" games, she went to the local charity thrift store to see what was available second hand.

She bought a lot of games, but we were left with one burning question:

What kind of sadistic fuck gives a "Yahtzee" game to a charity store without a single fucking dice in the box?

Okay, I'm a gamer, so I have a ton of dice lying around, but that's not the point.

Arse.

A lot of bull

Last night I saw the most outstanding video clip ever filmed anywhere in the world, ever, in the history of mankind, ever.

It was filmed at a bullfight in Spain. Now, I hate bullfighting. It isn't a sport. It's not fun to watch. Yeah, it's dangerous - but mainly for the bull. And it's just so enjoyable when the bull gets some payback.

Normally we would get to see the bull maybe lay a horn or a hoof on some luckless matador. Sometimes, the bull gets enough licks in to hospitalise one of his tormentors. And, yes, occasionally, someone gets killed (but any sympathy from me must be reserved for the bull, which always gets killed, and which has no choice in being there).

What happened in Spain yesterday was the ultimate in nature biting back.

An enraged bull - at this point, virtually unharmed - did what nobody thought possible - it vaulted the fence.

Oh yeah, that's right. Over a ton of extremely pissed off muscle with two great horns on the front, landed slap bang in the middle of the crowd that was baying for his blood.

Normally when you see an animal in this situation - surrounded by screaming, panicking humans - the animal starts to panic, too. Most of the injuries in this kind of situation come from the animal trying frantically to find a way out.

But not this time. This bull was pissed. He was charging around, trampling people, goring people, not making any effort to escape, just causing havoc.

Dozens of people were seriously injured. I'm not a believer in Karma, but it should be obvious that if they hadn't been there at this barbaric event, they wouldn't have been hurt, so I don't care.

The report ended with the note that the bull was later destroyed. But hey, he was going to be killed anyway, and was probably killed in a more humane way than the slow torture he was facing.

Which is why I love seeing one of these stories. I want to get a "go bull!" t-shirt, cap, and flag so I can sit on the couch and cheer for the animal.

Hell, this one was so awesome that I was tempted to leap to my feet and start a friggin' wave.

Flightplan

We just finished watching Flightplan, Jodie Foster's new flick. It's all-round pretty good, very watchable, well worth wasting an evening to watch.

And it's especially nice to see Sean Bean make it to the end of a movie without getting killed. Nice job, Sean, we knew you had it in you.

Doombreed rating: ****1/2

Life's full of these little disappointments

One if the major drawbacks of being an atheist is that we lack the smugness of other religious positions.

See, if one is a Christian, one can observe other religious positions with a feeling that, come death, they will find out the folly of their ways. When they find themselves face to face with God, being judged, they will realise their mistake. And the same can be said for other religions, whether one believes in Allah's divine judgment, or in the grace of Yaweh, or in the inevitability of another turn on the wheel of life.

But atheists have no such position to look forward to. After all, when you die, you die. There's no "you" left to realise that you were wrong. It's over, done, finito.

The Christian that dies, in the "sure and certain hope of resurrection" (and it doesn't take a genius to see the contradiction in that quote), will never see their error, because there is no "they" to see it.

Just random meanderings from an atheist who likes to look on the ironic side of life a little too much.

A giant leap for blogkind

I've just laid my hands on an AlphaSmart Pro, so I'm writing this from the comfort of my sofa, and later on I'll hook it up to the computer and upload the text.

This is going to make blogging much more "real time."

Which is completely pointless, yet fun.

Bleh

It's late Sunday night and I have to be up at 0615 to go to work tomorrow. Oh what fun. So, just to be quick, here's a link. A link that might make you laugh. A link that will waste perfectly good time. Which you should be spending doing important things. Like working. Who'm I kidding? Go look.

And, despite the title, the link is suitable for work.

SPANK THE MONKEY!!!

Okay, seeing as you've been good, here's another link. And this one is bloody and a bit tastless, but no nudity or anything like that:

BLOODY PINGU THROW!!!

Now go play.

More garbage from the anti-choice mob

The right, who have, with Alito's nomination still unconfirmed, been unable - yet - to stack the Supreme Court with enough of their ilk to overturn Roe v Wade (the 60's landmark Supreme Court case which acknowledged a woman's right to control her body in the area of abortions) have many other irons in the fire. Their latest piece of idiocy is that pharmacists are allowed, in most states, to refuse to fill prescriptions for birth control or emergency "morning-after" pills, if doing so goes against their religious beliefs.

What a crock. What next? "Police Officer refuses to arrest a fellow Christian"? "Firefighter refuses to rescue Moslems from blazing building"? "Paramedic refuses to give mouth-to-mouth to Jew"? "Doctor refuses to resuscitate Atheist"? How about "video store employee refuses to serve black customer"? Sound so reasonable now?

No, of course not. But pharmacists want "the right to choose".

Hey, you already have the right to choose. Choose to fill the prescription or choose to find a new job. It's that simple.

Friday Rodent Blogging

Imo, who has, apparently, read (or chewed, at least) a book on the art of camouflage.

Hate in the guise of charity

News of a French group - called Bloc Identitaire - reaches my ears (or, rather, eyes) which is rushing out to provide hot soup to the nation's homeless whilst the continent is in the grip of the worst winter in decades.

Nice.

Except they're giving out soup made from pork. Now, if this was a mistake, it'd be bad. But it's deliberate. It's deliberately done because Block Identitaire is a far-right white-supremacist group who knows that both Moslems and Jews are forbidden from eating pork. And they're not even trying to play innocent, they openly admit it.

Don't get me wrong, Bloc Identitaire has the right to be narrow-minded, ignorant, bigoted arseholes if they wish. That is their prerogative. But their ignorance may be their undoing in the case of Moslems. See, the Koran prohibits the eating of pork, but says "But if one is forced by necessity, without willful disobedience, nor transgressing due limits, then Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."

So, a homeless Moslem, in a situation where it's eat pork or die, is allowed to eat.

Shoulda researched that better, hmmm?

Thumbs up for HRH Henry

So, the news has broken that Prince Henry, he of the "younger son of the future King" fame, is to join the Household Cavalry. At first glance, the Household Cavalry - who most people consider to be simply the Life Guards (the guys with all the shiny on horses outside Buckingham Palace) - seems like a typical, cushy, never-see-action choice appropriate to a young member of the Royal Family. But don't get smug, because he's actually going to join The Blues And Royals, a unit that is most definitely a combat unit.

As well as boasting a history going back to the 17th century, they've seen action all over the globe, most recently in The Falkland Islands, Bosnia, Kosovo, and Iraq. And in the modern world where massive MBTs and anti-tank weapons bristle just about everywhere, it takes some guts to hurtle around in, what is basically, a tin box on tracks like the Scimitar or Spartan.

Maybe Harry is more his mother's son than it might first appear, or maybe it's the influence of having an ex-SAS officer as personal secretary, but both Harry and his brother are shaping up okay. This bodes well for a future without an English President.

(In case anyone didn't get it, Doombreed is a die-hard Royalist.)

Underworld Evolution

WOW. Mrs Doombreed and I went to see Underworld Evolution today, and it was amazing. It's one of those rare sequels that lives up to the original. The storyline is excellent, the action scenes as violent and fluid as ever, the ongoing revelation of Selene's backstory is intriguing, the history and origin of the vampire/lycan feud is explained in greater detail, and Kate Beckinsale looks sexier than ever in that outfit.

Doombreed rating: *****

Warning: potential spoiler below:






My only problem with the plot lies here:

If you wanted to lock up an immortal being "for all eternity" (direct quite from the movie) why would you create a key for the prison you put him in, no matter how ornate or devious? I mean, "all eternity" kinda implies you never want him released, so why would you even bother with a key? Right? Okay, it'd make for a short movie, but...

News from the land of the bizarre

A woman from Illinois has been jailed for leaving her three kids - all under the age of 5 - at home alone while she went to the taping of The Jerry Springer Show. That she'd gone only became apparent after the three kids went over to a neighbour's house when they got hungry after their mother had been gone for five hours. Over four hours later, she returned home to be arrested.

She said "I didn't think I'd be gone that long."

Okay then. That makes it all okay.

Is anybody surprised that it was Jerry Springer?

Nancyboys and Fairies League

So, I watched both of the championship games today. The AFC Steelers-Broncos was first, then the NFC Seahawks-Panthers.

Considering that both games were supposed to represent the two best teams in their respective conferences, both games were - well - boring. In both games it almost seemed like the losing team didn't care and the winning team were just walking all over them.

Still, we'll see how the Seahawks do - without their "12th man" (the Seattle home crowd bellowing so loud that the visiting team can't hear the plays being called) - when they travel to Detroit in two weeks time to take on the mighty steamroller that is the Steelers in the superbowl. Because it's a road game for both teams, the Seahawks' "12th man" won't be in dominance and the crowd will be pretty much 50/50 Seahawks/Steelers.

Y'know, I've only been watching this game for a few years, but even I can remember when home teams used to get penalised if their fans were so noisy that the visitors couldn't hear the play calling or the audible pre-snap counts, especially if the home team were encouraging them. Now Seattle even has a #12 flag that they raise in honour of their fans doing precisely that.

Maybe we'll see if Seattle really deserves to be there.

News from the land of the bizarre

Here's a story:

A women went into a Florida hospital to have a baby. After the baby was born she was told she'd caught a streptococcus infection - a bacterial infection routinely treated with antibiotics - and she was moved to another facility where they cut off her arms and legs. And now she's having to file a lawsuit to find out why the hospital deemed quadruple amputation was necessary - because they refuse to tell her.

Think I made it up?

Truth is, indeed, stranger than fiction.

Friday Rodent Blogging

Y'know, Imo's an old man. He's old. If he were human he'd be buying a zimmer frame, yelling at people to speak up and telling stories about his memories of the war. The Boer War.

Yet he still finds the energy to run on that damn wheel of his. And look at him, ears back, tail high, eyes slitted, legs a-pumpin'.

He's keeping in shape.

For what, we're not quite sure. It's probably the end-stage of some evil plan or other. Soon comes the day when we'll be forced to bow before our gerbil masters.

Or something.

And now for a nicer hamster story

This is a picture of Aochan, a rat snake living in a Japanese zoo, with Gohan, a hamster that was fed to the snake. In October.

Apparently, Aochan refused to eat Gohan and the pair now share a cage with every indication that they enjoy each other's company. Gohan has even been observed falling asleep draped across a creature that should send him scurrying into a corner, screeching in terror.

And this kind of thing itsn't unprecedented. Witness the lioness that keeps adopting baby antelopes.

Not quite lions and lambs, but it's no wonder that the nutbars think we're living in the Last Days.

Or maybe it's simply proof of Sir Arthur Eddington's famous postulation that "not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine."

Yeah, you're scum

Apparently two students got drunk one night and decided to wrap up a hamster in an envelope and send it through the post.

Yeah, it's illegal, but it's also cruel.

Students. That means they go to college. Cambridge University, in fact. Shit, never has the term "educated idiot" seemed so appropriate. The Beeb article neglects to mention what subject the pair of morons are studying, but it's a sad statement of our education system that one of the top Universities in the country boasts idiots like this in the classes.

The hamster, named "First Class" by the post office, is okay and was discovered by the postie who emptied the pillar box. First Class had chewed her way out of the envelope she'd been sealed in, and had the postie not spotted her, would have died in the sorting machine.

Yeah, you're scum. Check out the pictures. Fuckin' Hooray Henries.

Hi, I'm Doombreed and I'm a child

Mrs Doombreed and I went to the cinema yesterday. What did we see? Was it Hostel, a bloody gorefest from the mind of Tarantino? Was it King Kong, an effects-packed event movie? Was it Brokeback Mountain, the gay cowboy movie that has the religious right up in arms? Was it Munich, the hot thriller about the revenge bombings for the massacre of the Israeli Olympic team? Was it Glory Road, the socio-political drama about the first all-black college basketball team?

Nope. We went to see Hoodwinked. Which is a kids movie. Animated. About Red Riding Hood. And a plot to steal the recipes for all the goodies in the forest. Being investigated by a frog in a suit.

And I loved every second of it. It was hilarious, it was slick, it had the guy who voiced Kronk in The Emperor's New Groove as the voice of The Big Bad Wolf.

I'm Doombreed, and I'm a child.

And if you're a child, no matter what your chronological age, I heartily recommend Hoodwinked.

Doombreed rating: *****

P.s. Next week is Underworld: Evolution. Sweet.

Quit whining

Today's coverage of yesterday's Steelers-Colts game might have left the unsuspecting reader with the impression that the Steelers lost the game. Certainly, they're whining about it as if they lost.

Steelers' linebacker Joey Porter said, of a decision by the referee to overturn an interception by Troy Polamalu:

"I know they wanted Indy to win the game; the whole world loves Peyton Manning, but come on, man, don't take the game away from us like that."

Two articles in my local newspaper contain several similar accusations of bias or incompetence. What stuns me is that during the game, the refereeing was - if anything - biased against the Colts. A typical example was, early in the first quarter, a Colts defensive player was flagged for "facemasking" (grabbing an opponent's facemask), despite the fact that it was the Steelers' receiver he was tackling who was doing the facemasking.

The game stats show the truth. Nine flags thrown against Indianapolis for a total of sixty-seven yards in penalties, two flags thrown against Pittsburgh for eight yards in penalties. Gee, that's some biased-towards-Indianapolis refereeing.

The Polamalu interception? I understood the explanation for it being overturned, even if many pundits around the country didn't. Polamalu caught the ball as he went to the ground. The rules require that he controls the ball until he gets back to his feet. If at any time he loses the ball, it's incomplete. He lost the ball before he could get back up.

See? It's that simple. And if a Brit that's been living here in the US for only a few years can get it, why are all these Yanks so mystified? Even the NFL themselves don't seem to understand why the call was made. Yep, the NFL broke with tradition and publicly criticised the decision of one of its referees. That's how much the whole world wanted the Colts to win.

And, y'know ...

It's all a moot point anyway because the decision made no difference to the game and the Steelers won anyway!

I could understand all this bellyaching if the Colts had won, but they didn't. They lost. Quit whining.

Bleh

Well, that was a depressing Sunday.

Both the Colts and the Bears went tumbling out of the playoffs, despite both teams making a late rally and counterattack.

What especially pissed me off was Terry Bradshaw (who was once a quarterback for the Steelers) having a go at Peyton Manning (quarterback for the Colts) because he said in the post-game press conference that there had been "some pass protection problems."

(simply put: Between the quarterback and the defensive guys is a group of guys called "the offensive line". They have two jobs: On a running play they have to push the defensive guys out of the way so the guy running with the ball can get through; and on passing plays they have to keep the defensive guys away from the quarterback long enough for some guys to get downfield in position to catch a pass. That second job is called "pass protection" for obvious reasons. When pass protection fails, the defensive guys get through and tackle the quarterback (a "sack"), or at least cause him to throw the ball before he or his receivers are ready)

The pass protection for the Colts sucked today. And remember, when the pass protection fails, it's the quarterback who's eating turf play after play. So, yeah, Manning had the right to be a little bit pissed that every time he turned around there were Steelers in his face, and the fact that he controlled himself and described this farce as "some pass protection problems" is admirable.

Bradshaw, now a pre- and post-game pundit, held forth about how the quarterback, as the leader of the team, shouldn't be publicly criticising them.

Fuck that. His offensive line needs to know that they suck and suck bad. They should be lambasted in every form of media for their complete lack of ability.

Instead, they'll blame Mike Vanderjagt, the kicker, for missing the last-gasp equalising field-goal. People will remember the ball going sailing off to the right of the goalposts, but what they'll probably forget is that it was a kick that Vanderjagt should never have had to make and wouldn't have had to, had the Colts been playing like the Colts.

As for the Bears, they played bloody well considering their quarterback was only on his fourth professional game, and had only played once before this season. The Bears can at least have the satisfaction of knowing they played as well as they could have been expected to.

Nancyboys and Fairies League

I watched the Denver-New England game. Some background may be in order. The New England Patriots have won the last two superbowls, and three out of the last four. And they've been insufferable for it. They even went into this game claiming they'd found a way to beat Denver. So anyone who knows me will immediately be able to pick out which team I was rooting for.

Not only did New England's secret plan not work, Denver pretty much buried them. Nicely done.

Today I was a Denver fan. Tomorrow I'll be an Indianapolis Colts fan. And the Chicago Bears. Gotta love the Bears.

Hilarious II

This actually IS too funny. I almost died whilst reading it. Warning: Not for those with weak hearts or diseases of the lung.

Hilarious

This is almost too funny.

And don't start thinking it's cruel. I bet that dog's having the time of its life.

Friday Rodent Blogging

Wooaaah! Extreme close-up! Imo does his Wayne's World bit.

This is nice

The government in Britain is expected to relax Sunday trading laws, allowing businesses to open longer. I know, I know, I'm an atheist, so I'm bound to like this. But maybe not for the reasons you might think. I have no problem with those that want to treat Sunday as something special. If you want to go to church, go. If you want to spend the day praying, pray. If you want to strip naked and smear yourself in bacon grease, go right ahead.

Just don't force me to participate.

Here's a quote from the article:

Ministers want to relax the curbs after pressure from supermarket chains, which want the Government to bring England and Wales into line with Scotland, where there are no restrictions. But the move faces opposition from small traders and religious groups who want to "keep Sunday special".

The "small traders", I get. At the moment, when the big shops close, the small shops get big business, and relaxing Sunday trading laws would impact that. But this "keep Sunday special" crap annoys me. It's as if people think that they can't have a special day of the week without the muscle of the government enforcing it. Here's a thought - be an independent adult human being and take control of your own life. If you want Sunday to be special - or, indeed, any day of the week, or, if it comes to that, any day of the year, or, in extremis, every day of the year - make it so. Don't force your superstitions on me, and don't force me to pay to police our forced observance of your superstitions.

The True and Unalterable Word Of God

Until we want to change it.

Oops.. Didn't think that through, did we?

Remember the furore over the leaked memos claiming Bush 'n' Blair discussed the possibility of bombing the headquarters of Arabic news station Al Jazeera?

Remember how both Bush 'n' co and Blair 'n' co claimed the memos were fabrications? Utterly false? "Outlandish and unbelievable"?

Well, the two guys responsible for the documents' exposure are being charged under the Official Secrets Act.

Tiny problem.

They can only be charged if the documents are genuine.

Y'know, because if they're, like, fakes, then they're not, y'know, like, official secrets, are they?

Oops.

Naughty link time

I post this link not out of any slobbery adolescent slave Leia fantasies (which I don't have, no sir, not me) but simply for information purposes. Anyone who has a desperate need to buy or make their very own slave Leia costume can find out how at Leia's Metal Bikini.

Stop looking at the pics, people. Sheesh.

I KNEW it!

All those times I've been criticised for being a slow riser in the mornings are finally laid to rest. I'm not lazy, I'm simply protecting the world from the dangers of my sleep inertia which is, according to a new study, every bit as mentally debilitating and potentialy dangerous as drunkenness.

So there.

Palmer accepts apology

Carson Palmer has accepted Kimo von Oelhoffen's apology for the hit that ended his, and probably the Bengals', season today. Van Oelhoffen's hit, which is described in that second article as an "unintentionally firm tug", sent Palmer out on the second snap of the game.

"I'm not gonna lie, it affected me a little bit," von Oelhoffen said. "That kid deserved a shot to play in this game. It's always horrible when somebody gets hurt. We're all football players -- we're together, we compete against each other, but we're together."

[...]

"How would it affect you if you had just torn one of the most promising quarterback's knees out? You do not like to see that happen. But he'll rebound," von Oelhoffen said. "He's young and he's going to be around for a long time. ... I hope he gets better because he's a great player."

The Steelers, though, are getting pissed at suggestions that had Palmer played, the result would have been different.

What several Steelers disliked was the insinuation that the injury greatly influenced the game, and that they needed something like that to win in Cincinnati, where they have won five of their last six.

"I'm not going to sit here and let that be a reason to spoil our victory, Carson not playing," linebacker Joey Porter said of the Steelers' 14th victory in 17 road games over the last two seasons. "This is the NFL and people get hurt; it's not the first time someone's got hurt in a game. We've had people get hurt all year. You take your wounds and keep on ticking."

The Steelers played four games without their own starting quarterback, Ben Roethlisberger, with two knee injuries, and left tackle Marvel Smith also missed substantial time.

"We came away with a victory. If Palmer had played, I think the same thing would have happened," Porter said.

I guess we'll never know. But one thing's for sure, it couldn't have been any worse with Palmer playing.

Bengals 17-31 Steelers

Yeah, so, okay. When I started this Bengals trip I did say that I expected them to play like England. Today I was proved right.

First, we have the strong start. Two plays in, Palmer fires a 60-odd yard missile downfield which Henry catches right on the money. Unfortunately, not only does this play take Henry out, who landed badly after a tackle, but a Steelers defensive player "accidentally" grabbed Palmer's ankle, then "accidentally" slammed his shoulder into his knee, a knee which "coincidently" happened to be Palmer's bum-recently-seriously-injured knee. Bye-bye Carson, see you next season. Yeah, I admit it, I'm having a little difficulty seeing such a fortuitous (for the Steelers) event, which seemed so unlikely and so deliberate, as accidental. But, whatever.

Bengals backup comes out. I didn't even bother memorising his name. Jon something-or-other. And, well, hope was maintained. For about a quarter and maybe half of the second quarter. Cincy took the lead. The defense was almost everything that the season had promised. The offense were making plays. Jon what's-his-name was moving the chains and scoring points. Dreams of a matchup in Indy were surfacing.

And then, half-time.

That's when the Bengals went home and sent out the Ohio State Varsity Girls Volleyball Team (B-squad) in their uniforms.

Jon whatever-the-hell-his-name-was couldn't hit a cow's arse with a shovel, and that's when he could be bothered to throw. Most of the time he was merrily trotting around the backfield waiting for the Steelers' defensive line to get bored enough to sack him. One play, he was so well protected whilst looking downfield and apparently not seeing three - count 'em, three - open receivers waiting for a throw that he fumbled the ball. I shit you not. Twenty yards away from the nearest Steelers guy, standing completely in the open, he just .. drops the ball. Must have run into some sort of fly-type insect or something.

Pretty much the only successful throws he made were to guys in black helmets. Hint: You're supposed to be throwing to the guys whose helmets look like tigers, y'know, orange and black stripes?

Meanwhile, the defense manfully tried to stop a Steelers offense that includes a guy called, and the size of, "The Bus", who was pounding up the turf as fast as he was pounding up the Bengals. Tried, with limited success. The Sleelers offense even got so cocky and relaxed that they started trying out circus-trick plays to impress the crowd. And scoring from them.

And, with all the predictability and inevitability of an England-Germany World Cup quarter- or semi-final, the clock ground down and my team were stuffed and mounted.

But, once again, like England, we were crap, but not that crap. At least we scored, eh, Giants?

June. Germany 2006. A chance to live it all again.

Can't wait.

The God FAQ

Ever wanted a place to answer all your questions about religion? All those questions about various deities answered in simple, no-nonsense terms? A place to go when your faith is troubled?

Look no more:

The Official God FAQ.

Friday Rodent Blogging

This is Imo, who is Not Talking To Us.

He is Not Talking To Us because we cleaned out his cage. Gerbils need their bedding changed less than hamsters do, so by the time Imo's cage needs cleaning out he's usually amassed a fairly sizable pile of chewed up cardboard, which he digs in, sleeps in and, yes, prepares to ambush me from. So, when we remove it, he spends the first hour or so Not Talking To Us. Then he gets down to the business of re-stockpiling.

Reaching into his cage during this hour of Not Talking To Us was recently rejected by the makers of Fear Factor as being "way too life-threatening" and "beyond insanity".

Robertson opens mouth again

Pat Robertson, founder and host of TV's most prominent religious nonsense show, The 700 Club, self-styled mouthpiece of God, all-round annoyance to anyone with a brain, and source of such brilliantly Christian rants as "we should assassinate Hugo Chavez", "9/11 was caused by gays and feminists", "Judges appointed by the Democrat Party are a greater threat to America than Al-Qaeda", and "people who live in Dover, PA, are damned to hell for upholding the Constitution", as well as such wonderful examples of pure, solid, logical thinking as "Hurricane Katrina was caused by abortions" and "Atheism is a religion" has opened his mouth again, and it's all true to form.

God gave Ariel Sharon a stroke as punishment.

Okay, it sounds like the tagline of a bizarre BDSM movie, but, yes, Pat believes Sharon got laid low by that ole time wrath of God.

Pat Robertson is living, breating, bullshitting proof that there is no God.

As Calvin said; "I find it hard to believe in God when some people haven't been struck by lightning."

In this hellbound Atheist's opinion, anyway...

Neil Gaiman

Gaiman is fast becoming one of my favourite writers. I first encountered his work via one of my other favourite writers, Terry Pratchett, with whom Gaiman collaborated on the excellent Good Omens, a typically Pratchettesque - which pretty much just means funny and irreverent - novel about the apocalypse.

From there, I bought Neverwhere, an absolute must-read for anyone who's spent any time traveling on the Tube. American Gods was borrowed from my local library, and I just purchased Smoke And Mirrors with a gift card that the exquisite Mrs Doombreed gave me for Christmas.

He's worth checking out, if mindbending weirdness and challenging, intelligent fiction is your cup of tea.

Pic added

I decided to add a pic and, disdaining the unleashing of any pictures of The Horror That Is Doombreed upon the world, I decided to resurrect my old forum-posting avatar, suitably altered with the addition of a Bengals helmet and the legend "WHO DEY?", the Bengals warcry.

Cool.

The Raven Armoury

Searching through my "favorites" folder the other night, I uncovered an old and dusty link to the Raven Armoury.

The Raven Armoury, as well as being responsible for the Golden Demon Slayer Sword awarded to the winner of each year's Golden Demon UK championship, have an oustanding array of sharp pointy things made using traditional methods and materials. So exacting is their craftmanship that they currently have a waiting list over three years long on most commissions, and their stuff can run into thousands of pounds.

But find something you like, such as the various versions of Snaga the Sender - The Axe Of The Deathwalker, and suddenly it all seems worth it...

Excuse me whilst I go wipe the drool from my chin.

"Prove Christ Existed"

Oh, now this should be good. An Italian court has ordered that a priest appear to prove that Christ existed.

Theists have long argued that there is ample evidence that Christ - or, at least, some form of god - exists, and that it would be a simple matter to prove such to the satisfaction of a court of law. This is, of course, bull, but it doesn't stop the claim.

Once you dismiss the entire bible as inadmissible hearsay, with the caveat that it was, for over a thousand years, in the sole keeping of an organisation with a vested interest in promoting it as truth, you're left with non-biblical sources.

Namely; Josephus - the Jewish historian whose writings we have three versions of: the one that comes to us via the Vatican which calls Christ "a doer of wonderful works", the one that comes to us via the Jewish church which doesn't mention Christ at all, and the one that comes to us via archaeology, written in Arabic, which describes Christ as a "charlatan"; and Tacticus - the Roman historian who mentions "Christus", but fails to even mention - even to debunk - any rumour of any hint of any belief concerning any supernaturalism about the man.

Add zero archaeological evidence of the man himself - and even the Vatican admits that the Turin Shroud is a fake - nor any other records, and you've really got a lost cause.

Still, it'll be interesting to see how this one plays out.

Bengals 3-37 Chiefs

Well, this was not the Bengals finest hour.

Still, in the playoffs anyway. First game is at home against the Steelers, which should be fun.

11-5-0

Happy New Year

To my friends, my family, my devoted reader (that would be my wife), and to Imo, evil though he is,

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Friday Rodent Blogging

Kuzco.
Sept 2003 - Dec 2005.

In Memoriam

Kuzco died tonight. I guess it should have been expected, when one goes, the other can't be far behind. It seems both Kuzco and Pacha just died of old age. But that doesn't help in the slightest. We'd grown really attatched to these two guys and it's hard to see them go.

We love you Kuzco. You and your brother will be in our hearts forever.

OH YEAH!

Recieved this the other day, via email:

WINNING NOTIFICATION:

We happily announce to you the draw (#1020) of the UK NATIONAL
LOTTERY,online Sweepstakes International program held on Saturday 1 October 2005.

Participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from a pool of over 25,000 names and e-mail addresses of distinguished professionals drawn from Europe, America, Asia, Australia, New Zealand, Middle-East, parts of Africa, and North & South America as part of our international promotions programme conducted weekly to encourage prospective overseas entries. We hope with part of your prize awards, you will take part in our subsequent lottery jackpots.

The result of our computer draw (#988) selected your e-mail address attached to ticket number: 56475600545 188 with Serial number 5368/02 drew the lucky numbers: 04-06-31-42-46-47(bonus no.11), which subsequently won you the lottery in the 2nd category i.e match 5 plus bonus.

You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of £243,306 (TWO HUNDRED AND FOURTY THREE THOUNSAND,THREE HUNDRED AND SIX POUNDS STERLINGS) in cash credited to file KTU/9023118308/03. This is from a total cash prize of £1,703,142 shared amongst the Second seven(7) lucky winners in the 2nd category i.e. Match 5 plus bonus.

NUMBER OF MATCHES No OF WINNERS £s PER WINNER TOTAL

Match 6 2 £2,767,607 £5,535,214

Match 5 plus bonus 7 £243,306 £1,703,142

Match 5 318 £2,793 £1,064,133

Match 4 26475 £88 £2,329,800

Match 3 561913 £10 £5,619,130


Totals 588,778 £16,251419

Additional Information:

Jackpot winner(s) 2

Machine used for Draw MOONSTONE

Winners by Lucky Dip 216277

Ball set used 7

All participants for the online version were selected randomly from World Wide Web sites through computer draw system and extracted from over 100,000 Unions, associations, and corporate bodies that are listed online.

Your prize award has been insured in your name and is ready for claims. To begin your claims therefore, you are advised to expeditiously contact our licensed and accredited claim agent for Overseas Lottery Winners within a period of 21 days (date of this email inclusive) for the processing of your winning and remittance to you after all statutory obligations have been satisfactorily dispensed with.

This promotion takes place weekly. Please note that your lucky winning number falls within our European booklet representative office in Europe as indicated in your play coupon.

In view of this, your £243,306 (TWO HUNDRED AND POUNDS STERLINGS) would be released to you by any of our payment offices in Europe.

Please be informed that claims not processed within the stipulated period may be forfeited to the pool without further notice.

Our European agent will immediately commence the process to facilitate the release of your funds to you.

For security reasons, you are advised to keep your winning information confidential till your claim is processed and your money remitted to you in whatever manner you deem fit to claim your prize. This is part of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program. Please be warned!

To file for your claim, please contact our fiduciary agent:

Overseas Claims Unit
United Kingdom Lottery Fiduciary
MR SIMON WHITE

Emails;simonwhite2016@yahoo.co.uk

phone;+447031907930

You can go to our online result site to confirm the
value of your
winnings and also get a prize breakdown:-
www.national-lottery.co.uk/player/p/results/results.do

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

At your disposal, we remain.
Very Truly Yours,

Brian Hunt
Online coordinator for UK NATIONAL LOTTERY,

Sweepstakes International Program.
Open 7 days 8am-11pm.

ATTN: ONCE AGAIN THE WHOLE OF THE NATIONAL UK LOTTERY STAFFS ARE CONGRATULATING YOU, SO PLEASE GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE WITH THE FOLLOWING INFORMATIONS TO ENABLE US FILE YOUR CLIAMS. AND WE WOULD LIKE TO TELL YOU THAT YOUR CLAIMS WAS PICKED BY RANDOM SEARCH OF EMAILS AND YOU WERE FIXED AT THE DRAW WHICH YOU CAME OUT SUCESSFULLY THAT IS WHY YOU WERE NOTED SO PLEASE FILL OUT THE INFORMATION BELOW SO THAT WE PROCEED WITH YOUR CLAIMS

VERIFICATION AND CLERANCE FORM

1.FULL NAMES:__________________________________

2.ADDRESS:_____________________________________________

____________________________________________

3.SEX:_______________

4.AGE:________


5.MARITAL STATUS:___________________

6.OCCUPATION:________________________

7.E-MAIL ADDRESS:_____________________________

8.TELEPHONE NUMBER:_____________________

9.BATCH NUMBER:____________________ B. REF NUMBER:______________

10.BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF COMPANY/INDIVIDUAL___________

11.AMOUNT WON:___________________________________

___________________________________________


12. COUNTRY________________________________

Upon receipt of the duly requested data, I will send you the contact information of the payment office so you can proceed with effecting the release of your claim in anyway you deem fit.

Warm Regards,

SIMON WHITE(MR)

Nicely done. Except that the National Lottery's logo appears nowhere in the email, there are several spelling and grammatical mistakes, the website linked to, whilst it it the official UK National Lottery site, contains no information whatsoever concerning any "Overseas Claims Unit", the national Lottery Machines are all named after characters from the "King Arthur's Court" realm of fiction (because the company that runs it is called "Camelot") so there is no "Moonstone" machine, and, oh, I didn't buy a ticket.

The Naional Lottery isn't a freakin' charity. No pay, no play.

Sheesh. It scares me that there may people out there fooled by this kind of thing.

Migraine, again

Just an excuse to post another useless link from my collection.

More funny t-shirts.

Once there was a dream

Once there was a whacked-out dream of a unified Europe rising up out of the detritus of the cold war, becoming another superpower in the world.

What's scary is that there are tiny signs it's starting to happen. People around Europe are working together on common projects instead of in competition like they used to. We have a unified currency, such as it is. We have a government, such - again - as it is. Barriers are coming down, friendships are coming up.

We've even found a way to get into space without having to go cap in hand to NASA. The ESA is no longer a silly little bastard cousin to the Yanks.

How do we know?

Because, after years of putting vital communications satellites in space and not much else, suddenly they're spending $4billion on putting mostly-useless crap up there.

Galileo, Europe's "it ain't broke but were gonna fix it anyway" answer to GPS. Now you'll be able to know how lost you are "down to the metre".

Baby's growing up..

10 Terror attacks foiled

Ten terrorist attacks have been foiled since 9/11, thanks to the brilliant work of anti-terrorism units.

Not news? Didn't Bush make that announcement back in October?

Well, yeah. But I'm not talking about plots against the USA, I'm talking about plots against London.

That's right. Tiny lil 609 square-miles of London has had as many "foiled" terrorist plots as all 3,537,441 square miles of the US of A. That's ten plots against 7.5 million Londoners vs the same number against 292 million Americans.

So, do they really hate us that much more or did dear ol' Ken just pick up the wrong script?

Ten plots. Count 'em - ten! Except you can't, because they're secret, so we'll never have any details over who was plotting, what was plotted, when it was plotted, when it was plotted for, how the plot was uncovered, who did the foiling, how foiling took place, and when the plotting was foiled.

Hell, it's a good job our politicians are so trustworthy, otherwise the skeptic might ask "how do we know you didn't just make up a nice, round figure?"

Naaah..

Christmas

Yep, it's Christmas, so, whoever you are, however you celebrate, and whether or not you celebrate, I hope you had a good day.

Unless you're the dickhead commentator from the Bears-Packers game who thanked the troops overseas for defending freedom - which he defined as "the freedom to celebrate Christmas - as we all did today - any way we choose".

That must be news to all the Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, Moslems and people who just plain don't celebrate it. Sounds suspiciously like people who define "freedom of religion" as "the freedom to worship an almighty god any way they choose". Now, who was it who said that?

And I'm working on an article answering the question I've been asked repeatedly this year - how can an atheist justify celebrating Christmas?

Look for it tomorrow or sometime next week.

Happy Holidays.

Bite me, O'Reilly.

Bengals 27-37 Bills

Not exactly what I wanted for Christmas, but at least it was a closer game than the score would indicate.

Well, hope the Packers-Bears game is as fun to watch. Dallas won. Chargers got hammered. Teach you to beat the Colts. Oops.

Merry Chirstmas, in case I can't (or can't be bothered to) get on tomorrow.

Friday Rodent Blogging

Freedom! Oh, wait! Dammit! There's a hand! Curses, foiled again!

Kuzco finds his freedom to roam o'er the hills and valleys of Doombreed isn't quite so liberating as he thought.

Busted Tees plug

Was sent this link.

Have now passed it on.

Hmm.. kinda disease-like, this blogging stuff, ain't it?

(Seriously, that's a great site with some amazing shirts. I really want the "DIKFORE" one.)

Gay marriage

Sir Elton John and his long-time partner David Furnish, along with dozens of other couples, have tied the knot under Britain's Civil Partnerships Act of 2004. Yes, two people of the same sex are "married". The world is still here. Civilisation did not come to an end. There were no rains of sulphur, no plague of boils, kids did not run amok in bloody demonic-possession, dogs did not rip out the throats of the elderly, bats did not rape mice.

Neither did any of the above happen two weeks ago when Britain's first same-sex marriage, a specially licensed ceremony where permission was given to waive the 15-day waiting period because one partner was terminally ill, took place. He died the next day, but he died a married man.

I am very proud of my homeland, right now.

The Daily Show vs Bill O'Reilly

Must-see TV. This oustanding clip is from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, replying to a clumsy attempt at scathing journalism by Fox news vis a vis the whole "War on Christmas" line. Utterly hilarious.

Stattin' it up (again)

Tonight's Packers-Ravens massacre threw up this week's useless nugget of information award when the commentators (John Madden, he of the "EA Sports Madden NFL [insert year]" games fame, and Al Michaels, the guy who made the greatest joke in the history of the world in BASEketball) vouchsafed that, when Deion Sanders intercepted Brett Favre, it was the first time ever that a player as old as Sanders had picked off a player as old as Favre.

There. Aren't you gad you read this blog and can now sleep soundly knowing that?

(p.s. The spellchecker on this blog, that I use to check blog posts before posting them to my blog, which is part of the blogger software used to blog with, does not know the word "blog" and counts it as a typo.)

Bengals 41-17 Lions

Boo-yeah!

First division title since 1990.

Match report.

13-3-0.
And serious commiserations to the Colts for losing today. That's a major bugger, I was hoping they'd go undefeated all the way. Still, Super Bowl beckons.

Spies warned of Tube attack

So, it appears that the JIC "warned" Blair that the Tube might be targeted by terrorists before the 7th July attacks when they actually were targeted.

The shock! The horror!

Newsflash: The British anti-terrorism services have long known that the Tube would be a choice target for terrorists. Shit, think about London and it's the one, big - and above all, soft - target that sticks out like a sore thumb.

And forewarned, what, exactly, could Blair do? Remember, four unremarkable youths with backpacks. Thousands of them pass through the Tube every day. We're not talking about guys in robes with teatowels on their heads carrying beeping boxes with wires sticking out of the sides chanting in Arabic as they march into our subways.

Besides, the conspiracy theorists point to the fact that the company that runs security for the Tube performed evacuation exercises and drills with this scenario in mind mere days before the actual bombing as evidence that the gummint did know it was coming. So, er, they were preparing.

Or maybe we should react to every tidbit of information by strip searching everyone with dark skin who even so much as looks at a building?

Spies warned of Tube attack:

"SPYMASTERS warned Tony Blair before the July 7 suicide bombings that Al-Qaeda was planning a ‚“high priority‚” attack specifically aimed at the London Tube.

A leaked four-page report by the Joint Intelligence Committee (JIC), which oversees all spying, is the first definitive evidence that the intelligence services expected terrorists to strike at the Underground."

Space cadets taken in by TV hoax

Man, I'm pissed to have been unable to have seen this.. fantastic..

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Space cadets taken in by TV hoax:

"Three contestants have spoken of their disbelief after being fooled into thinking they went into space for the UK reality show Space Cadets.

The three believed they had blasted off from a cosmonaut training camp in Russia, but were in fact in a fake spaceship in a warehouse in Suffolk."

Friday Rodent Blogging

You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talkin' to? You talkin' to me? Well, I'm the only one here. Who do the fuck do you think you're talking to? Oh yeah? Huh? Ok.

The War On Christmas

Fox News is in full judgment mode with an ongoing series of "exposes" dealing with the alleged "War on Christmas".

The British have long been puzzled by the American custom of wishing a "Happy Holidays" instead of a "Merry Christmas", but once one understands the concept, it's really quite good. Many religions have some variation of the winter festival, from Hanukkah to Kwanza, and thus, all are grouped together - by most - into a generic "Holiday Season", and wishes are often exchanged based on this. Most obviously, businesses who wish to avoid offending their non-christian customers with a christian-specific greeting often instruct staff to use the all-encompassing "Happy Holidays" instead.

But Fox is pissed. And, but for one tiny nugget of information, one might be fooled into thinking that this is serious and new. It's neither. Fox, according to those I've spoken to, do this every year. And every year Fox gets caught with its pants down.

Here's an example:

On his show, ranting pundit Bill O'Reilly claimed that a Wisconsin elementary school (read: primary school) had changed the lyrics to the carol Silent Night in an attempt to secularise the song and were "forcing" the kids to sing the new version. Horrendous. Except it's not true.

He was also caught out when he made similarly spurious claims about a Michigan town banning people from wearing red and green during the holiday season.

Sean Hannity made a similar mistake when he repeatedly claimed a New Jersey school had "banned" Silent Night entirely.

The "War on Christmas" exists only in the minds of those with an incredible martyr complex. And it's laughable - as ReasonOnline points out with an excellent piece entitled "The True Spirit of Xmas: How 4/5 of the country became an oppressed minority" - in a country where christians control every branch at every level of government.

Ah, 'tis the season, indeed.

A shout out (or whatever it is that the kids are doing these days)

I just wanted to post a public thanks to the company Bed, Bath and Beyond, being about the only company over here to sell that most quintissential and British of christmas goodies, the christmas cracker. Apparently, Americans haven't embraced the cracker like we Brits have, and they're very hard to find.

Here's an entertaining site explaining the history and evolution of our beloved crackers.

On giant pandas

August J. Pollack has an excellent piece on giant pandas over at Xoverboard today. It's well worth the read.

And honestly, I'm positive that this makes the very existence of giant pandas unique. In contrast to any other animal in the world, giant pandas exist solely because humans adore them, and want them to reproduce and stay alive. This doesn't demean their beauty or my respect for nature in general, but it merits saying out loud and accepting: these aren't noble, majestic creatures. And then I realized it: they're the Paris Hiltons of the animal kingdom. They exist because we lavish them with wealth, fawn over their appearance, and stare at them endlessly via night-vision cameras.

The greatest ice cream in the history of the world, ever.

That's right. Edy's Grand Limited Edition Bengals Blitz: vanilla ice cream with fudge swirls and caramel filled footballs.

Oh yeah.

Bengals 23-20 Browns

Okay, so let me see. The word was that if the Bengals won and the Steelers lost today, the division would belong to the big cats. The Steelers won, though. So, now, it apparently comes down to next week, and - no matter what Pittsburgh do - if the Bengals beat Detroit (and, come on, Green Bay beat them today), then the division is over and Cincinnati are going to the playoffs.

So, like, yeah. Watching next week?

10-3-0

Nice

Ahh, yes. This is from someone who believes in a holy book that includes the phrases "love thy neighbour as thyself" and "judge not, lest ye be judged".

Germany 2006 draw

The groups for the first round of the FIFA World Cup 2006 have been drawn. England (ranked 9th in the world) got Paraguay (30), Trinidad & Tobago (51), and Sweden (14). USA (8) got Italy (12), Ghana (50), and Czech Republic (2). Tough group.

The BBC has a neat printable wallchart for anyone interested in keeping up.

Friday Rodent Blogging

Pacha.
Sept 2003 - Dec 2005.

Hospitals may ban treatment for smokers and drinkers

Well, this is outrageous. Hospitals may refuse to treat someone who is, for example, a smoker or a drinker, if the doctor feels the treatment may not be "cost effective". A group called N.I.C.E. (National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence - yeah, I know, but N.I.H.C.E. doesn't sound so warm and fuzzy) is set to pass a ruling allowing just this kind of bull.

Yeah, I can hear the wanky campaigners now; "We pay for the NHS, you're putting a strain on our resources".

Bollocks.

Take smoking. Cigarettes cost three to four times more in the UK than in the USA. Why? Taxes. Taxes slapped on by the British government way in excess of that levied by the US government. And where does this tax revenue go?

Yeah, that's right. The NHS. The justification for all this extra tax is that we're putting poisons in our bodies, we should contribute more to the health service which is going to end up treating us.

Same goes for alcohol.

So, sincerely, I appreciate your position, but fuck the fucking fuck off. If I'm a smoker or a drinker in the UK (I was), it's my NHS more than it is yours, because I've been contributing way more than you, for many years, Mr and Mrs Campaigner.

I want back all the money I paid on cigarette tax.

I really dislike these idiot dumbfucks who spend their days helping the Labour government find new ways to screw the people they're supposed to be representing.

In Memoriam

Pacha, one of our two hamsters, died last night. He had been apparently ill for a few days, spending almost all of the time sleeping. We initially thought it was the "little hibernation" that hamsters sometimes go through, because his brother was also sluggish. We turned up the heat and Kuzco was up and running around within a few hours. Pacha, though, got worse, and this morning when we checked on him, he'd gone.

Anyone who has never owned a pet cannot comprehend how central to your life they can become. I cried and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

We love you, Pacha, and we'll miss you.

Stattin' it up

Last night's Seahawks-Eagles match allows the perfect lead into an idiosyncrasy of American Football, that of the stat obsession.

I say it's American Football, but it's Baseball, Ice Hockey, and Basketball, too. Basically, all the American sports. But it's American Football I'm interested in.

Last night, the Seahawks gave the Eagles what we, in England, call a "right-royal spanking", beating them 42-0. The commentators pointed out (several times) that this is the biggest defeat since a 38-0 loss (again, to the Seahawks) in the '98 season opener, and their worst home game since the Packers spanked them 49-0 in 1962. It was their only shutout (scoring no points) since the Tampa Bay Buccaneers held them to 17-0 in 2003 which, incidentally, was the Eagles' first game in their new season.

I'm not making this up, check the NFL match report.

The commentators mentioned that only three times in the history of the team have they been down by 35 or more points at halftime.

I guarantee, someone out there could tell you the stats from the Seahawks' side, too. Last time (if ever) they won by 42 points. Last time they shut out a team. Last time they shut out a team "on the road" (that's American for "an away game"). Last time they shut out a team and, if ever, scored 42 points or more. In the snow. On a Monday night. On the road.

Stats are huge in American Football. Watch a game - any game - and the commentators will offer tidbits of information. "That's the longest punt in NFL history, Bill", "That's the furthest any quarterback has thrown the ball for a completion and failed to get a touchdown, John", "That's John Smith's fifteenth consecutive game with at least one fumble, Troy", or, in extremis, "That's only the second time in NFL history that the same player has fumbled and recovered more than twice in two consecutive Monday night road games in the snow at Dallas the day after it rained for more than seven hours straight in December when I was wearing a blue tie, Mike."

Okay, that last one might not exist. But you get the idea.

Now, don't get me wrong, I guarantee that one could go to any Manchester United game and find someone who can quote stats till the end of time. Number of wins, number of losses, number of goals for or against in a given season. But ask "What's the biggest margin of goals Man Utd has ever won by in the snow?" and most will give you a blank look. Why does a person need to know this?

Most career touchdown passes? (Dan Marino - 420)
Most touchdown passes in a single season? (Peyton Manning - 49)
Most career touchdowns? (Jerry Rice - 207)
Longest pass completion? (Frank Filchock to Andy Farkas - 99 yards)
Most rushing yards gained in a career? (Emmett Smith - 18,355)

How about football?

Errrm..

First, it's hard to find them. Second, having found them, it quickly becomes apparent that one can easily get hold of stats for each team, but league-wide are harder to find. For example, want to know which Wolverhampton Wanderers player scored most goals in his career? Steve Bull, with 306. In a season? Same guy, 52. Most goals scored by an Arsenal FC player at home in a single game? Jack Lambert with 5.

But, what about across the whole Premier League? Even the FA's site doesn't list them.

The BBC lists this season's top scorer (Frank Lampard for Chelsea with 11, tied with Man Utd's Ruud Van Nistelrooy) but what about last season? What about all-time?

Don't get me wrong, I'd bet one could find them, if one was patient enough.

But when I googled for the NFL scores above, they were first result. Googling for football results doesn't give anything meaningful on the first few pages.

And the most obscure stats are trotted out by NFL commentators every single game!

The how, I get. But why?

Seahawks 42-0 Eagles

All together now..

Ain't that a shaaaaaameeee!
My tears fell like rain...

Bengals 38-31 Steelers

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmyeaaaah!

Nicely done.

9-3-0

Match report.

Derailed

We went to see this movie today, as part of Mrs Doombreed's birthday celebrations (Happy Birthday, love of my life!) and we both loved it.

Basic story: Dude decides to cheat on his wife. Is caught on the cusp of completing the act by an unsavory character who robs him and then decides to blackmail him. Twist in the tale does not even begin to describe it, and Jennifer Aniston has just got hotter since leaving both Friends and that idiotic Pitt guy.

Doombreed rating: *****

Friday Rodent Blogging

Kuzco, who has decided that he's had enough of the paparazzi invading his privacy.

Ha-HA!

This is almost too funny:

The British government just released the Primary School (for Americans, read "Elementary" school) league tables. What's funny is that the Headteacher of the top school in the country said that her success is due to "ignoring" most of the government's advice and strategies on education.

Priceless.

Check it out.

Supreme Court to hear pro-abortion challenge

Well, I guess it's time to test out that new court...

The battle over abortion rights has returned to the US Supreme Court, where campaigners are fighting to overturn a New Hampshire law that requires minors to inform their parents before they can receive the operation.

It is the first time the court has heard an abortion rights case under the leadership of Chief Justice John Roberts, and the outcome of the hearing - which will not be announced for some weeks - is unclear because of the recent shake-up in the court's membership.

Story here.