Warhammer 40,000: Apocalypse

Games Workshop have a new expansion for the venerable 40k game on the way. It's called Warhammer 40,000: Apocalypse and it deals with truly large scale games.

And it has miniatures to boot.

Seeing as I'm an IG player, here are the new IG releases in order of how much I would cut off of my body in order to get them:

Baneblade - Any three body parts (with the exception of head and genitalia) and any two facial features.*
Emperor's Talons - Any three limbs and any one facial feature.
Leman Russ Squadron - Both legs and left arm.
Basilisk Battery - Any two limbs, provided both arms are not taken.
Emperor's Fist Tank Company - Left arm and left leg.
Armoured Fist Squad - Any one limb.
Emperor's Wrath Artillery Company - Left hand or either foot.
New Commissars - Left thumb and forefinger for the one with the powerfist and book, left middle finger for the one with the bolt pistol, or left hand for all three.

The observant will notice that the Ogryns are missing from the above list. The reason for this is simple. They suck. In fact, if you've got a moment, they suck so hard that small children may need some sort of safety harness when near them, lest they be sucked right in to the suckyness. The Bone'ead is not too bad, but even he sucks mightily.

I might accept the Ogryns, were someone to give them to me free with, say, a pint of caramel ice cream and a twelve pack of Boddingtons.

*These are not serious offers. Please do not send pictures of yourself holding one of these items and an invitation to "start cutting". Take it for what it is, a joke about just how droolworthy those new items are. The fact that I feel the need to add this speaks volumes about the Internet.

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