Unfortunately, the BBC reports, SpongeBob has been rejected by the other monkeys at Chessington and has been given a temporary home at Battersea Zoo.
And now for the "aww" factor:
Staff at Chessington have started "SpongeBob the Squirrel Monkey's Blog"(or SpongeBlog, as it's called), which allows him (ahem) to update interested parties with his progress.
"Hi, my name is SpongeBob the Squirrel Monkey. I used to live in the Zoo at Chessington World of Adventures and you may have heard about me as I am the little fella who was stolen from the Zoo on the 17 July. Someone broke in and took me away from my friends and my home - can you believe it?
Although they managed to find me again and I came back to Chessington, I have now had to move to another Zoo as the other monkeys didn't want me back with them! It's been a bit of an adventure, so I thought I'd tell you about it all in my SpongeBlog. Check back often to learn about all my experiences and how I am settling in in Battersea Park Zoo."
Keep us updated, little fella.
Someone mildly famous once said that no work of art is ever finished, merely abandoned.
Today, I abandoned my Rough Riders.
Today, I also started on turning some Steel Legion models into a hardened veteran squad. Pics once they, too, are abandoned.
P.s. Kudos to the delectable Mrs Doombreed for suggesting the white and gold combination for the lances, which look very effective.
And lo, it did come to pass, that on that fifth day the protective seals did fail, and the chains did break, and the gates did fall, and the mighty beast emerged thirsting for blood and flesh, devowering all who stood in its way.
Selene, disturbed from her rest, goes on a minor rampage.
A £2,500 high-definition TV.
And the console they're going to be playing on that TV doesn't sound like it was named by a five-year old who needed the loo.
Now, I know what it's supposed to mean. It's supposed to mean that the oven is to within a few degrees either way of 500 ℉.
However, the way it's worded actually means that the ovens could either be 500 ℉ or -500 ℉.
And seeing as absolute zero is -459.67 ℉ (or -273.15 ℃), Domino's pizza ovens appear to violate the laws of physics.
It's a good job Scotty doesn't work there..
I ran my eye along my modest collection of Games Workshop books. Farseer? Nah. Storm Of Iron? Maybe next. Into The Maelstrom? Hmm.. I remember reading that and not liking a few of the stories, but I could always skip those and read the good ones. I almost didn't. I almost went back to Storm Of Iron.
But off I toddled to work, Into The Maelstrom tucked into my pocket. First break rolls around and outside I go. The first story, Salvation by Jonathan Green, is very good. But I don't remember it. Next came Into The Maelstrom by Chris Pramas. Also very good. Again, I don't remember it. After that, and by now I'm back outside for my lunch, I read Emperor's Grace by Alex Hammond. Not quite so good, but also unknown. Then I hit The Raven's Claw by Jonathan Curran. Now I know I've never read this one before. I would definitely have remembered this one. As I cross over into Children Of The Emperor by Barrington J. Bailey, I find, hiding between the pages like some anorexic bookmark, the original receipt from when I bought the book.
That's right. For two years this book has been sitting on my bookcase, me thinking that it was "okay" and "not the best", and I had never even read it. Ever.
*And not the crappy new Deathwing either. This is the old version, where Grimm's still a Squat and compacks aren't called "vox casters".
Now, the Catholic church is hitting back by whining about MPs "rail-roading" the laws through Parliament, despite all regulations being met and all proprieties being observed. Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O'Connor, who presumes to speak for all of England and Wales, claims the process was "an abuse of parliamentary democracy" and said "profound public concern about aspects of these regulations has not been heard."
I probably don't need to mention what those two lines translate as.
That's not really what prompted this post. A church having a whinge because somebody reminds them that they aren't, after all, the sole voice of law in the universe is funny, but not unusual.
What's prompted this is the report mentioning that, if the Catholics don't get their own way, the Catholic adoption facilities which, apparently, "handle some of the most difficult-to-place children", will close rather than adhere to the new laws.
There it is. Right there. Rather than occasionally having to consider placing a child with a same-sex couple, the Catholic church, in its compassion, love and humanity, is going to abandon all of them.
I doubt many same-sex couples would bother going to a Catholic adoption agency if they had any sort of a choice, but rather than take that minuscule risk, the "God is love" brigade will refuse to help any child in need of a family.
All that "compromising beliefs" talk is bull. The Catholic church wanted to be above man's laws and they got slapped down, so they're taking their ball and going home.
Any faith that can prompt a person to make such a ridiculous, harmful decision is a faith that deserves no respect, a faith that does more harm than good.
For those counting, that's more progress in four days than in the last six months.
Rear row (l-r): Veteran, Standard Bearer, Medic, Colonel Ironfist, Nork Deddog, Vox Operator.
Front row: Anti-tank support squad.
For reasons that I just can't properly articulate, the Vox Operator is my favourite model. He just stands out from the rest of the squad and looks exactly as I planned him.
Paint day turned out, in fact, to be laundry day, so not as much painting was done as I would have liked.
I did get my Rough Riders started, and my command squad finished, so I did what I set out to do.
I am very pleased with how the command squad came out, and the Rough Riders (well, their mounts) look very promising.
More updates as and when I find time.
Now, for some time, I had been hearing rumours that Games Workshop were planning to release a novel concerning the Legion Of The Damned, which would answer some of the many questions concerning that mysterious band of undead Space Marines, so I grabbed it.
Of course, I didn't check the cover too closely. If I had, I would have noticed that the GW logo appears absolutely nowhere.
Anyway, I eventually got around to reading it and.. well, it took me about three lines to realise something was amiss. I closed the book and looked at the cover. Legion Of The Damned. "Across a thousand years, across a thousand stars, they stand alone..."
Sounds good. Flip the book over. Read the back.
"When all hope is lost-for the terminally ill, for the condemned criminal, for the victim who cannot be saved-there comes one final choice.
You can choose life-as a cyborg soldier in the Legion.
Both more and less than human, these steel warriors with determined human minds are the most elite fighting force in the Empire.
The are fearsome-and expendable. They are the...
Legion Of The Damned
...God help them."
Disheartened, I put the book down and reached for another.
Some time later, I picked up another book that looked promising. Steelheart. After reading it I decided to look into what else the author had written, because it was a very enjoyable story.
Steelheart was written by none other than William C. Dietz.
Cautiously, I returned to Legion Of The Damned and picked it up..
..And didn't put it down until it was finished.
Legion Of The Damned is a fantastic book. It's actually better than I was expecting when I thought it was a Warhammer 40,000 novel.
So now I'm looking out for The Final Battle, By Blood Alone, By Force Of Arms, More Than Glory, For Those Who Fell, and When All Seems Lost, which continue the story started in Legion Of The Damned.
Yes, picking up that book may well turn out to be an expensive mistake.
One day left 'till paint day.
And, for your dining and dancing pleasure (not to mention, so that you don't feel completely cheated) here is more News From The Land Of The Bizarre:
An Oklahoman woman calls the cops to buy drugs, a Californian guy breaks into a woman's house and then falls asleep, butt nekkid, on the couch, a Wisconsin resident chops off his electronic "house arrest" ankle bracelet so he could go appear on The Jerry Springer Show, a city in Maryland finally gets around to fixing a twenty-year old sign that directs visitors to the "Municple Stadium", a 19-year old Iowan tries to bribe his way out of an underage drinking charge* with seventeen dollars, and in Arizona, a dude accidentally sets fire to his meth lab, and then pops down to Walmart to buy a fire extinguisher, little realising that the fire brigade just might be there by the time he gets back.
Legal Alien: all the news that's fit to laugh at.
*it's 21 here, not 18 like back home.
Anyway, this Thursday is going to be paint day. I intend to finish off my command squad and at least get started on my Rough Riders.
Expect an update on Thursday night.
Yes, that means my little "My Time" clock down there on the right is wrong, so I'll have to go update it.
The first,via WasShe at AP, is Rowan Atkinson on the Jesus "water into wine" miracle:
The second, straight from YouTube, is "Welcome To Hell":
Which was nice.
Lee's blog is called Olio, and is worth a read. And, as a bonus, one of the thing I like to do upon seeing a blog for the first time is to rummage through the links list and see what's there. Olio has a large links list. This could take a while.
Meanwhile, read the blog. Enjoy.
Not buying it?
Okay, I'm actually playing games over at Neopets.
Mrs Doombreed is a big Neopets fan and she is trying to fulfill all the daily challenges, but there's some games I'm better at playing, so I get drafted.
After a nervous start, where Irwin clearly had no idea how to handle the effeminate Ross, a few jokes are exchanged and it just takes off like a rocket. Enjoy.
Zodiac was active in California in the late sixties and early seventies. He took delight in sending notes and encrypted messages to the press and, most unusual for a serial killer, was never caught.
I don't know how accurate the movie is, seeing as it is based around some speculation, but it is very much worth watching.
Jake Gyllenhaal plays Robert Graysmith, a cartoonist at a San Francisco newspaper. The movie is less about the actual Zodiac murders and more about Graysmith's obsession with them. In real life, Graysmith authored what is considered to be the definitive book on the Zodiac murders and, many believe, has correctly identified the killer.
The movie is deep without being unwieldy, fast paced without being mindless, gripping without being cliche, true-to-life without being kitchy.
I loved it. 3 hours went by and I only noticed when I stood up to leave and almost couldn't walk.
Doombreed rating: * * * * 1/2
Squats. Don't get me started.
But now GW has done something weird.
The new Dark Angels. Okay, I don't have a problem with much of the range. The new DA Company Master model is awesome. Like the Blood Angels character Captain Tycho, it's based off of the original four Space Marine captain models (DA, SW, BA, and UM) , and the change is a big improvement. The new Master of the Ravenwing is just droolworthy. No, it's the Deathwing that I have a problem with.
For those not up with the history, this unit gets its name and its colours from a very old story called, appropriately, Deathwing by Bryan Ansell and William King. The story is about a group of Dark Angel 1st company terminators who return to their homeworld to find it overrun with genestealers. They resolve to rid the planet of the invaders and, knowing that their small squad would most likely perish in the attempt, complete the rite of deathwing. The ancient rite involves wearing white warpaint and basically considering yourself dead already, so the terminator suits are painted white and off they go. The background is that, in honour of this brave group the DA 1st company was renamed "The Deathwing" and their terminator suits were all painted white.
"He looked at Weasel-Fierce. The gaunt man had finished painting out all the icons on his armour. It was now white, the colour of death, except on its left shoulder, where the skull had been left unchanged. It seemed somehow appropriate."
Not, I repeat, not the colour of rancid butter, Games Workshop.
"For the bone-colored Deathwing armor, start out with an undercoat of Skull White Spray Paint. Then, basecoat the model with Graveyard Earth. Once the Graveyard Earth is dry, wash the model with some watered-down Brown Ink and make sure the wash gets in all the crevices."
Deathwing wear white, not "bone".
Well, call me Mr Pedantic, but the reason why the Dark Ages were so horrific was because the church ruled Europe with an iron fist. Calling this inhuman behavior "godless" is absolutely inaccurate.
"600 years of God-inspired, inhuman behavior" would be better.
People who think that history should at least bear some resemblance to actual events can email the History Channel at firstname.lastname@example.org.