Giants Beat Patriots, NFL Beats Giants.

In a stunning display of skill and dignity the New York Giants refused to lay down and play dead on Saturday night.

In the final game of the NFL's regular season, the Giants faced off against the New England Patriots who, as reported previously on Legal Alien were awarded the undefeated season and this year's Superbowl before the first game was played. The 10-5 Giants were going to lose, it had been decided, but nobody could force them to make it easy.

For three straight quarters the Giants destroyed the Patriots on both sides of the ball. The Patriots' shambolic offense could barely manage to put up a decent drive, and the Giants were carving up the defense like they were amateurs. The Patriots opening drive ended with the team settling for a field goal, in answer to the Giants opening touchdown.

After a nicely orchestrated penalty saved the Patriots from going three-and-out, they managed to stumble down the field for a touchdown, giving them their only legitimate lead of the game.

NY lead 21-16 at the half and 28-23 at the end of the 3rd quarter.

At this point the Giants felt that they'd made their point - that they could easily have beaten the Patriots if they'd chosen to - they obeyed their orders from the NFL and stopped playing.

The change was marked and incredible. It was like the Giants went home and sent the Miami Dolphins (1-15) out in their uniforms to play the final quarter.

Even then, the Giants thumbed their nose at the Patriots with an easy touchdown in the closing minutes of the game to keep things close and give the NFL a scare.

Life-long Giants fan James Edmondsen said after the game, "It's a shame that we weren't allowed to win, but if we meet those bitches in the Superbowl, it's on.

"All bets are off," he continued, "the league can kiss my ass."

Dallas Cowboys fan Jake Phillips echoed the sentiment, "We had the Patriots on the run when the guys in black and white stepped in. In the Superbowl, we own them."

Morton Braithwaite, follower of the Philadelphia Eagles, said, "I hate the Giants like I hate the Cowboys, but if they get to the Superbowl, you bet I'll be a fan. Anyone who gets revenge on the Patriots is fine by me.

"Screw the NFL," he added.

* * * *

This article, again, is a parody. It is not intended to be taken seriously. No quotes attributed to any person, named or unnamed, are real. The contents of this article do not, to the best of my knowledge, represent the actual truth behind the farce that was the 2007 season.