AdGander

One of the more amusing ways I've been wasting my time is watching commercials on the telly. I've especially been keeping an eye out for those that allegedly push one message whilst actually promoting (to the inquiring, slightly skewed mind) a completely different one.

For example:

Take the new commercial for the Hummer H3. It shows a family of bears (Papa Bear, Mama Bear, and, if you can't finish that off, you're too dumb to be walking around unsupervised) coming home to find that their house has been "visited". Cups are out, chairs have been sat in, beds slept in. Simultaneously, the Bears are overcome with a shocking realisation! The cars! They rush outside.. Papa Bear's HumVee is there.. Mama Bear's H2 is there.. but Baby Bear's H3 is gone! Cut to the H3 being driven down the road by a blonde - Goldilocks - and the catchphrase "this one's just right".

Awww..

Or, as I say whenever it comes on, "H3: the car for car thieves". How about "H3, with security features that are so pants, even a blonde could steal it".

Then, there's Miller Lite. I drink neither Miller Lite nor Bud Lite, as both are, in my opinion, making love in a canoe*. But Miller Lite's commercials are grating.

No, that's not strong enough. Miller Lite adverts annoy the hell out of me.

Not only do we have the oft-cited selling point that it has "more taste" than Bud Lite (and cow shit has more taste than strawberry milkshakes. I know which one I'll take, thank you), but now we have this new set of two or three commercials. They depict people watching an American Football game. Halftime rolls around - cue a mad dash to the shops to stock up on more Miller Lite! The "Beer Run"! The race! The spectacle! Not to mention the hilarious (for the lobotomised) scene where one (or more) people arrive too late to grab the last case of Miller Lite, pause, glance at the next fridge stocked to full with Bud Lite, then turn and run out the door to - presumably - find another store to get their "more-tasting" beer from!

Hur hur hur.

Miller Lite: The beer for those too stupid to buy enough beer to last the whole game. Shit, it's not like you didn't know in advance how long the game was likely to last, moron.

*Americans may not be conversant with this old British joke, so I'll explain. Making love in a canoe is fucking, close to water.

This is why there is an internet!

Family Guy quote repository.

Victory is mine!

Bengals 37-45 Colts

Stupid Colts.

Yes, I missed blogging last night, no it wasn't because I was too despondent. Last night I came down with the worst migraine I've had in about 20 years. Thanks to the ministrations of the wonderful Mrs Doombreed, I made it through okay. She looked after me, made sure I was okay, and even went out in the middle of the night to go get advice from our local drugstore, bringing back some useful potions*1, poultices*2, and drugs*3.

I love my wife so much.

*1: HeadOn - I don't know if it helped, but it certainly didn't hurt.
*2: Well Patch - a cooling patch for my forehead, which was the most incredible thing I've ever felt in my life
*3: tylenol - and this was fun, considering I couldn't get drugs into my body by mouth if ya know what I mean

Fight the power!

A 67 year-old Worcester City resident has invoked the English Bill of Rights to fight a parking fine. The Bill, he points out, prevents government from laying fines against citizens without a trial, making on-the-spot fines - such as those imposed for parking violations - illegal.

The Bill, written into law in 1689, includes the clause "All grants and promises of fines and forfeitures of particular persons before conviction are illegal and void."

Britian needs more people like this to fight the Blair State.

Check it out.

Friday Rodent Blogging

Imo, having finally been caught and tried for his crimes, is safely behind bars.

Colts vs Bengals

Say it ain't so. This Sunday, my Bengals go against the undefeated (take a drink) Colts.

This week's drinking game: Drink whenever a commentator mentions how the Bengals put a stop to the Chiefs' 9-0-0 unbeaten streak - against all odds - two years ago to the week!.

Standard disclaimer:

We do not advocate actually playing this drinking game and any drunkenness, embarrassment, injury, loss of coherence, memory, friendship, money, marriage, sanity, limb or life, that may occur as a result are entirely your own responsibility. You are an individual human being, start acting like it and stop blaming your failings on something you read on the internet or saw on television.

Willy Pete

You may have seen the scandal involving US forces using white phosphorus shells in Iraq - apparently a contravention of a few chemical weapons treaties if the shells were used against civilians. The US military claims they were using them to "illuminate the battlefield" (a story that has since changed).

Well, it seems British forces were using them, too. Only we were using them to "create smokescreens".

Well, we had a good run, people

Oh well, it seems like the honeymoon's over. A UN summit in Tunisia is meeting over the next three days to discuss what to do with the Internet. For too long, apparently, the Internet has been uncensored and uncontrolled - the ultimate expression of free speech and international discourse. But the question may be settled as to who "owns" the World-Wide Web.

The Bush administration, of course, wants the whole thing to be controlled from the US. Other countries - mostly those that heavily censor their citizen's access - want there to be more centralised control under the UN. The EU may well play the trump card and break any deadlock.

I notice, however, that the idea of just leaving it alone isn't surfacing. At the moment, countries are able, through the use of products produced by companies like Google, Microsoft and Yahoo!, to decide exactly how much or how little their citizens are exposed to. Any country that values freedom of speech will - theoretically - leave it alone. Any country that wants exacting government control can do so.

Most of us who like to keep one foot in the reality pool knew that the ride wouldn't last forever, and it wouldn't be too long before this, too, became "sanitised" by the few for the greater profit of the few, under the guise of safeguarding the many.

It was fun while it lasted.

Cowboys 21-20 Eagles

Whoa, what a game! After seriously crapping out, Da 'Boys pull a victory out of nowhere!

It was erie watching the last few minutes of the game. There was almost total silence in the Eagles' stadium - most of the Cowboys fans having left and the Eagles fans shocked speechless by the last minute rally.

However, the fact that they won should not prevent the Cowboys from asking two key questions:

"Where the hell was our pass protection?"

and

"Drew? What the fuck?"

NFL roundup

The Bengals are on a bye (that means they get a week off) so no change to the 7-2-0 this week. Great to see the Colts win, still the only undefeated team in the NFL at 9-0-0. The Bears put up a good show - in really bad orange shirts - for the win, the Packers added another win, going 2-7-0, and the Steelers gave the Browns what is known over here as a "whuppin'".

Tomorrow brings the Cowboys against the Eagles - division rivalry and all that - and poor Philly without T.O. and his mouth. Cowboys dominated last time, so we should have a fight on our hands.

Remembrance Sunday

The eleventh hour will, thanks to the time difference, be at 6am tomorrow (later today, actually), but as with every other year, wherever I am, whatever I'm doing, I will be thinking of those who didn't come back.

Too often, patriotism becomes confused with jingoism, and words like "honour", "duty", "sacrifice" and "valour" become dirtied in the mouths of politicians who seek to twist them for their own ends. One of the things I try to remember is that we do owe these people. Not because some politician wants us to, but because they fought.

I doubt that many fought for freedom - it's too nebulous a concept. But to fight and die for family, for friends, for countrymen and women, to fight to protect those and that which you love, that is the sacrifice they made.

I'm not interested in comparing or contrasting the previous wars with the current war in Iraq, too much of that is being done already.

I honour those that fought and died for my country. I honour them by deciding issues for myself. I honour them by demanding accountability for those who would send off the next generation of kids to fight and die for their political careers. I am a patriot. I remember.

I can't get a poppy over here, but it's only missing from my lapel.

Scotland 1-1 USA

Nicely done, both sides, especially considering that the US team was mostly "second string" players.

Match report.

England 3-2 Argentina

YES!

Okay, so it was only a friendly, but beating Argentina is always a good thing. It's also great to notice that two goals were scored in the closing minutes, as usually England plays well in the first half and goes to pieces in the second. Two for Owen and one for Rooney. Lovely.

Match report.

Friday Rodent Blogging

Imo, who has bravely volunteered to defend the Doombreed household from all small, blue slices of gourd.

And cardboard, apparently.

On the Effectiveness of Aluminium Foil Helmets: An Empirical Study

This is beyond great.

Among a fringe community of paranoids, aluminum helmets serve as the protective measure of choice against invasive radio signals. We investigate the efficacy of three aluminum helmet designs on a sample group of four individuals. Using a $250,000 network analyser, we find that although on average all helmets attenuate invasive radio frequencies in either directions (either emanating from an outside source, or emanating from the cranium of the subject), certain frequencies are in fact greatly amplified. These amplified frequencies coincide with radio bands reserved for government use according to the Federal Communication Commission (FCC). Statistical evidence suggests the use of helmets may in fact enhance the government's invasive abilities. We theorize that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason.

I can hear the crazies screaming themselves to sleep as we speak...

On Creationism and so-called "Intelligent Design"

I mentioned in yesterday's post that the Kansas board of education has had to redefine the word "science" in order to crowbar the so-called "Intelligent Design theory" into classrooms. I mentioned it simply in order to counterpoint the story of Pennsylvania voters booting out the school board which had recently okayed the teaching of this so-called "theory". However, I was commented.

I thought it would be wise to address the comment, by an individual named Sean, because so many of the anti-science lobby's arguments were represented there.

First, let me state this: ID is not a theory in any scientific definition of the word. If it were, the Kansas board of education wouldn't have had to redefine the terms in order to get it to fit. It's that simple. For those confused, Talk.Origins has a great piece on exactly what constitutes a "theory".

Also, it needs to be stressed that ID is only creationism with its hair combed and wearing a nice suit for its day in court. The distinction is purely a legal one.

But, to the comment:

It seems to me that, for once, students are able to hear BOTH sides of the argument so to be able to decide for themselves! This is certainly an improvement over our students continung to be fed only ONE of two major worldviews without exposure to any alternatives.

This is flawed on several levels. First is the equation of science with mythology. The two are not equals and only real, actual science should be taught in a science class.

The second is the notion that not teaching religion in school somehow precludes learning it. School is the wrong venue for religion. Preachers teach religion. Churches teach religion. Parents teach religion. State-funded schools should not. Thus, any child will be able to hear "BOTH sides of the argument" because they get the science from school and the religion at home.

The third flaw is a popular fallacy - that either evolution is correct or creationism is correct. But that is rubbish. Even the Vatican accepts evolution as correct. The confusion comes when people believe that evolution somehow speaks to the ultimate origin of life on this planet. It does not. That area of science is called "abiogenesis" - the study of how a planet without life became a planet with life. Abiogenesis and creationism are at odds, because the former attempts to find scientific hypotheses to explain the origin of life, whereas the latter relies upon the bible. The official position, as noted, of the Vatican is that God created life on Earth, but life does evolve.

Finally, we come to theocentricism. If that's not a word, it is now. The clearly stated belief is that there are only those two options. Science and creationism. The notion that both might be wrong is never entertained. That maybe the world was created by - say - Odin from the flesh of Ymir, or from the egg of the great bird Nyx, or out of Nu, or by Con Tiqui from the lake Collasuyu, or that life was created on the body of the great Goddess torn asunder by Quetzalcoatl and Tezcatlipoca in retribution for their transgression, or that life sprang from the thoughts of Tepeu and Gucumatz, or was formed by Gisoolg, are not to be considered, nor is the idea that the world might be some alien experiment, or maybe came into being in some way that nobody's ever thought of. Nope, they want it to be either science or their creation myth.

The issue is not whether intelligent design or evolution is correct.

Shouldn't it be? Shouldn't it be the only issue under consideration when it comes to teaching science as science in a science class?

If evolution is a theory, with both evidence for and against it, and intelligent design is a theory with both evidence for and against it, how can they not be given equal consideration in teaching?

The second part of that statement is a false assumption. See above for the definition of "theory".

And there is no scientific evidence whatsoever in favour of creationism. None.

The bias that exists today is that evolution is taught as fact, without any mention of an alternative solution. What would be sad for our education system, in my opinion, would be to continue teaching only ONE of two major theories, and to continue to present that theory as sientific fact when it remains debatable. At least 2/3 of the population of the world believes in intelligent design anyway. NOT exposing our students to that theory would put them at a serious disadvantage.

Again, note "two major theories", with the references to "more than two" and "not a theory" points made above. Also note the reiteration of the idea that if kids aren't taught religion at school, they won't be taught it at all. Are there no churches?

Evolution is taught as fact because, quite simply, it is fact.

Still, if you want to believe that weakening science in favour of mythology somehow constitutes good educational principle, you're welcome to do so. I just thought that the basic principle of religious freedom which Americans are supposed to cherish would prevent you from imposing that belief upon others.

Keep science in school and religion in church. If you don't want your kids exposed to science, send them to a christian school. If you don't want them exposed to religion, don't send them to church. See? That works out best for everyone. Each person is entitled to raise their kids as enlightened or as ignorant as they wish.

And an atheist's tax dollars shouldn't be used to teach children religion.

Good news and bad in the fight for real science

Pennsylvania voters oust school board

Kansas school board redefines science

Special Powers

The French government has passed emergency legislation in a bid to halt the days of rioting that have raging - much to the delight of Fox News. Included in the package is the right to impose and enforce curfews, and the right to search suspect's homes without a warrant.

There's a great saying: Those that do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. So what does history say about situations like this?

Well, first, there's the trend that "emergency powers" passed to handle a certain problem or situation are rarely inspired by that single situation. In the wake of 9/11, both Britain and the USA passed legislation (in both cases it was mostly strengthening and widening existing laws), ostensibly to combat terrorism. Yet in both cases, the powers granted were powers that had been sought by the respective law enforcement organisations for many years, and such powers had been denied in the past. This is not to say, of course, that the powers weren't useful in combating terrorism, but one should not buy the notion that the idea sprung into being on that day. How long have French law enforcement organisations been asking for these powers?

Secondly, there's the trend that such powers will be misused. To clarify: in this sense, "misuse" constitutes an act which would not have been legal without the new legislation, but which is outside of the stated reasons for the new legislation. For example, the Labour party used anti-terrorism laws to eject and detain an old man who protested the government's justifications for the war in Iraq, and the USA PATRIOT act was used to investigate businessmen in Las Vegas who had absolutely no connection to any terrorism, not even causing Tony Blair to get a bit upset. Police chiefs in France probably reacted to the news about warrantless searches by immediately reaching for the files marked "Scumbags We Don't Have Enough Evidence To Get Behind Bars". Many searches will probably be carried out on "suspected" rioters houses.

Finally, and probably most worryingly, such powers are very difficult to withdraw once issued. Britons fought long and hard to end the laws requiring ID cards after WWII, and the war isn't over, they're still at it. When the situation in Northern Ireland seemed to be calming down, moves to reduce the scope of the Anti-Terrorism Acts were blocked repeatedly, and 9/11 simply gave the excuse needed to shore them up beyond any assault. The USA PATRIOT act hasn't been allowed to expire, and they're even talking about widening it further.

As with the examples above, there can be no doubt that the new laws in France will do the job they're touted to do - help police quell the riots, making the streets safe(er) for law-abiding citizens (and, thus, doing the job they're paid for) - but laws don't exist in a vacuum. Even if the laws are issued with the best of intentions, they will be misused, they will be stretched, they will be clung to long after their usefulness has gone.

France has allowed itself to fall into the trap of passing knee-jerk legislation to solve a problem that shouldn't have been allowed to exist in the first place.

That's called "papering over the cracks" and it doesn't work any better for government than it does for decorating.

Thank you Auntie!

It comes to something when even the Beeb recognises the glory that is the Bengals!

Colts 40-21 Patriots

I have never been so pleased to be proved wrong, even if it was only partially. I wrote:

My prediction for this game? The Colts are the better team, but they need to realise that if they're to beat the Patriots. Many stats will be unearthed concerning how many times Manning has been beaten at Foxboro and the like, and the Colts are going to have to beat themselves before they can beat the Pats.

Close game, Colts on top.

Colts on top, yes, close game, no. Even when the Colts didn't challenge the Patriot's third (and easily overturned) touchdown, it wasn't close.

Congrats, Colts. 8-0-0.

Bengals 21-9 Ravens

Okay, any day now, the Bengals are going to go all crap and start losing. Any day. Soon. Yep.

7-2-0 (again, best start since '88, when they went to the Superbowl)

And the drinking game mentioned here has been modified, seeing as it's "the undefeated Colts" at "the champion Patriots". Again, this author accepts no responsibility for any long-term liver damage done whilst playing this game. It's a joke. Don't do it.

My prediction for this game? The Colts are the better team, but they need to realise that if they're to beat the Patriots. Many stats will be unearthed concerning how many times Manning has been beaten at Foxboro and the like, and the Colts are going to have to beat themselves before they can beat the Pats.

Close game, Colts on top.

Happy Guy Fawkes' Night

Hey, I realise it's sunday morning, so it's the 6th, not the 5th, but I was working past midnight so give me a break.

Remember, remember the fifth of November,
gunpowder, treason and plot,
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
should ever be forgot.
Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes,
'twas his intent
to blow up the King and the Parliament.
Three score barrels of powder below,
Poor old England to overthrow:
By God's providence he was catch'd
With a dark lantern and burning match.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, make the bells ring.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!
Hip hip hoorah!

So, with the above set to puzzle people; Happy Guy Fawkes' Night!

Pandagon: I'll pick up my chicken wing at the back door, Massa George

What amazes me about this story is not that it happened - I'm getting used to seeing the White House managing to neatly put both its feet into its mouth on various PR stunts - it's the fact that, apparently, nobody saw it coming.

Does the WH not employ people for this kind of thing? Y'know, people to say things like "Hey, locking this cafeteria when we're supposed to be showing our compassion might not be a good thing, possibly."?

And whose bright idea was "go around to the back door"?

Probably the same guy who came up with "let's turn the power back on in New Orleans just long enough for the President to give his speech, then turn it off again"

In a normal world, people would be getting fired over this kind of thing.

Pandagon: I'll pick up my chicken wing at the back door, Massa George

House of Shite

We borrowed the DVD of House Of Wax from a colleague yesterday. Today, we watched it. To quote Rimmer from Red Dwarf 5: I consider it an insult to my backside to have to sit growing carbuncles through such putrid adolescent slush.

It was a bad movie. And, as an aficionado of horror movies, I don't mean it was bad in a good way, such as Braindead, I just mean it was bad.

The plot had so many holes that oftentimes it was hard to see if it was even there, the characters were crap and unlikable, the tragic tormented bad guy act was woefully underdeveloped, and any movie that resorts to having Paris Hilton as a stand-in for eye candy is doomed to failure.

The other girl - I have bothered to remember neither the actress' nor character's name - was far more attractive, actually having those attributes men look for in a women. Y'know, breasts, butt, hips, curves, femininity, body that doesn't resemble a skeleton on a starvation diet. But Paris is in the movie, and thus she was that which we were supposed to be oogling. And, yes, Ms Hilton's explosion into the movie scene, which was supposed to convince the world she was a serious actress, was wooden, boring and involved a strip show. Only as far as her underwear. Wouldn't want anyone seeing her naked or anything, now would we?

And then she dies. Which is the only high point of the movie.

If some crazed maniac holds a gun to your head and says he'll execute you if you don't watch this movie, think long and hard before you answer. It's just not worth it.

Doombreed Rating: pbbbbthbt

Friday Rodent Blogging

Kuzco, having decided that, if the authorities aren't going to grant his petition for a retrial, he'll have to escape, comences to chewing his way to freedom.

Again.

The "How Dumb Do You Feel?" Award

Nice.

Mirror.co.uk - News - SPIDER CAUSES CAR WRECK:

"SPIDER CAUSES CAR WRECK

A driver who swatted at a spider inside his car hit an embankment and flipped the vehicle over, critically injuring himself, Austrian police said yesterday. The victim was cut free by firefighters and airlifted to hospital."

Army criticised over failed trial

It seems the British Army is taking flak over the failure of the court martial of seven members of 3 Para. It seems that there is, after all, no evidence and no charges to answer. The star witnesses flown from Iraq to appear for the prosecution turned out to be - let's be charitable - less than convincing and the case was thrown out by the judge.

And people are pissed. Waste of money, they claim (£8 million) on a trial that should never have gone ahead.

Which is a shame. Especially considering that the same people would be screaming "coverup" if the trial hadn't gone ahead.

Besides, anyone who knows anything about the procedures for British Army courts martial will know that in order for the accused to be acquitted that easily, the prosecution case must really suck. Usually, it's a slam-dunk, no matter how weak the evidence.

Blunkett resigns ... again ...

Bonkers Blunkett has resigned again. Apparently, he was playing fast and loose with Parliamentary procedures concerning what kind of work an MP can do for the private sector.

Oh, next on the "Big Surprise" newscast; Bears and their toilet habits.

Charles and Camilla go Stateside

Yeah, so, it seems Prince Charles and Camilla are in DC, visiting with President Bush and zzzzZZzZZzzzzZZZZZz

Yeah. I don't care and I'm from England.

Wow...

Well, this may be the most incredibly stupid thing I've ever read:

The Homosexual Movement And Pedophilia

The homosexual activist movement and organized pedophiles are linked together by a common goal:
To gain access to children
for seduction into homosexuality.

Homosexual activists deny that they target children for seduction into the homosexual lifestyle, but the evidence is overwhelming that this is a lie.

There is an ever-increasing effort among homosexual organizations to target public school children, to abolish age of consent laws, and to publish “studies” that purportedly show that adult/child sex is not harmful.

The following reports provide clear and convincing proof that homosexual pedophiles (called pederasts) want children. Homosexuals should not be given special federal protections under “hate crime” laws; they should not be free to promote homosexuality in public schools; nor should they be allowed to marry or adopt children. Many homosexuals are sexual predators who prey on children.

It then goes on to link to many spurious articles "proving" that homosexuality and peadophilia are one and the same thing.

And this isn't one lone whack-job's webpinion page - such as the imcomparable godhatesfags.com - this is the site of The Traditional Values Coalition, a right-wing voice box.

Nice. Yes, my British chums, you thought Screaming Lord Such was a nutjob...

Next on the nomination chopping block...

President Bush has nominated his next bid for the Supreme Court - Samuel Alito.

And once again, all the stops are being pulled out to try to convince the American people that he's not a fundy nutbar, just like Roberts.

However, the extreme right have, it would seem, blown any chance of being able to realistically claim that any candidate is deserving of a straight up-or-down vote, after the savaging they gave Meirs.

For anyone unfamiliar: The President gets to nominate, but Congress votes on whether that person is appointed. A simple majority is required to pass a nomination. So, one can imagine, when one party controls Congress and the Presidency (as the Republicans now do), they can bash anyone through they want. The only option available to the minority party is called the filibuster. The rules of Congress state that a vote cannot be taken until the House has had a chance to debate it. So, in order to block a nomination, the minority party can simply keep on talking, refusing to yield the floor.

Now, the majority can stop a filibuster, but it's dangerous. First, someone needs to table the motion that filibustering in these circumstances is unconstitutional, in which case Congress votes. But it takes a two-thirds majority to pass the motion, so the majority party needs a really big gap to pull it off. Even then, they'd be well advised not to do it because the ruling is final and permanent, meaning that if the situation reverses itself at some future election, the previous majority now finds itself in the minority, but without the protection of the filibuster. Most parties would have to think long and hard before killing the filibuster on something as vital as Supreme Court nominations.

Yeah, it's complicated, but have you seen the British Parliament at all?

Saw II

The fabulous Mrs Doombreed and I went to see Saw II today. Frikkin' outstanding movie. Every bit as good, in my opinion, as the first. The movie ends with not one but two of the most amazing twists I've ever seen. I'm usually good at spotting the twists - I had Sixth Sense figured out about 30 minutes in, and Unbreakable posed no problem whatsoever - but these took me totally by surprise and, yet, massive hints were given in the movie which are, in retrospect, blindingly obvious.

The deaths are more innovative, the carnage more bloody and the bad guy more baddy than before.

Doombreed Rating: * * * * *

Bengals 21-14 Packers

Great result, even though the Packers aren't exactly the team to beat this year.

6-2-0

More baby panda!

Remember the baby panda?

Now you can watch it grow!

Inspection halts Big Ben's chimes

Oh no! Big Ben's not gonna be ringing for part of this weekend!

The massive bell (yes, the bell's called Big Ben, not the clock) will be silenced, along with all of his smaller brethren, while vital inspection work is carried out. The clock will stop after 8am BST saturday morning, and stay silent until around 4pm GMT sunday afternoon. This also means Ben will miss out on sounding 2am twice this year (once for BST, once for GMT, after the clocks go back).

Shame, many a drunk Londoner will be unable to use the excuse "well, Ben just sounded two, love".

BBC NEWS | UK | England | London | Inspection halts Big Ben's chimes

Correction dated 30/10/05 0244;

BST ends at 2am, so the clock goes 0158, 0159, 0100, 0101, thus Big Ben would be required to ring in 1am twice, not 2am.

Friday Rodent Blogging

It's a hard life, being a hamster in the Doombreed household.

You have to lay around most of the day, getting in some much needed napping between the main sleeps of the day. Chewing, of course, takes it out of you, but you have to do something with all the wood and cardboard the humans keep putting in your house. Food and water are often as much as three inches away from where you sleep.

And to top it all off, the moment you do emerge from your bed, some bugger starts snapping pictures before you've even had a chance to put on your makeup or brush your fur.

Somebody call the SPCA.

Miers says "no" to SCOTUS

From various, including the Chicago Tribune:

"Today, I have reluctantly accepted Harriet Miers' decision to withdraw her nomination to the Supreme Court of the United States," the president said in a statement.

No, Mr President, you did not. Miers cannot withdraw her nomination because she never had a nomination. You made the nomination, only you can withdraw it. She can refuse your nomination, or withdraw her acceptance of your nomination, or even withdraw her candidacy, but she cannot withdraw her nomination because it was never hers.

I know it makes no difference to the outcome, but let's have some standards.

Brought to you by CAUSE, the Campaign for Accurate Use of Sensible English.

George Takei outs himself

George Takei, best known for playing Mr Sulu in ST:TOS and six of the movies, has come out of the closet. I'm feeling a mixture of emotions, here.

First, I couldn't care less if Takei is gay, it changes my opinion of him not one whit. I was, and remain, endlessly entertained by his performances as the Enterprise's helmsman, and I still believe that pretty much everything he's made since is a big pile of pants.

Secondly, I do admire the courage of a man admitting this in today's violently bigotted America.

Third, I wish George and Brad, his partner of eighteen years, a long and happy life together, and I hope that one day society will extend the same rights to this loving couple as it does to drunk rednecks in front of an Elvis impersonator in an all-night Weddins By The King Chapel in Vegas.

NOTE: I'm stubbornly refusing to end this entry with some lame, too-obvious Star Trek joke like "Warp speed, Mr and Mr Sulu" or "Set course for marital bliss" or something. I forsee many - oh, too many - such jokes over the coming weeks, from late-night monologues on crappy talk shows to bad cartoons in the sunday 'papers. I will not sink to that level.

Too often.

Others gave all, too

With all of the coverage of America's 2,000th death in Iraq, it shouldn't be forgotten that others have died too.

97 from Great Britain, 27 from Italy, 18 from Ukraine, 17 from Poland, 13 from Bulgaria, 11 from Spain, 3 from Slovakia, 2 each from Denmark, El Salvador, Estonia, the Netherlands, and Thailand, and 1 each from Hungary, Kazakhstan, and Latvia.

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And that's the military. Coalition civilian deaths - journalists and contractors mostly - vary by estimate. And Iraqi deaths? Anywhere from 25-30,000.

Again, it's important to remember, amid all the political maneuvering and one-upmanship, when both sides are trying to outdo the other in rhetoric and sloganeering, that every one of those were real human beings. Every single one of them will be missed by somebody.

Whether you believe in the war or not, whether you believe they died for a good reason or not, that is a thought that should disturb your sleep.

It happened

It happened. The 2,000th US soldier has died in Iraq. Staff Sgt George T Alexander Jr. I mention his name in order to remind that he, and the other 1,999 statistics are not just that.

Each one of those 2,000 soldiers had parents. Most had husbands or wives, girlfriends or boyfriends. Most had brothers and sisters. Some had children. All had friends, neighbours, comrades-in-arms. Some had pets. They were grouchy some mornings, happy others. They had bad breath if they didn't brush their teeth. They made people laugh. They probably made people angry from time to time - we all do. They farted, they belched, they had fun, they were probably sometimes a little mean, sometimes a little saintly. In short, they were human.

2,000 human beings is an almost impossibly large number to comprehend. We think we know what it means, but we rarely come close. Most people don't speak to 2,000 different people in the course of a decade or more of life. Most people don't really know 200 people, let alone 2,000.

This is 2,000:

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And it's not 0's we're talking about. It's filled graves and empty seats at thanksgiving.

It would be nice to think that both sides of the debate might pause for a while - maybe a minute - to reflect on that before they either leap on Staff Sgt Alexander's coffin as a political symbol, or dismiss him as an "artificial mark on the wall".

He was nor is neither. He was so much more than that to those who knew him.

As an atheist, I don't pray. It's like a membership requirement. But I hope that Staff Sgt Alexander's friends and family are republicans. At least that way, they can believe he, and all the others, died defending freedom.

What a loss

Anne Rice has decided to quit writing about vampires and now only writes "for the [christian]* Lord"

Shame. Lost another one to Dietech**.

*my addition, just because I dislike the way people always talk about "the" lord, or "god", like there's only one.

**misspelling deliberate.

Big Brother goes mad

I am a little disturbed by this. Under an amendment to the Freedom of Information act, electronic copies of US citizens' and residents' driving licences are now available online. Check it out.

So if you live in the US, a copy of your license is on this site. I checked mine, and it's there, unflattering picture and all.

Thanks to Aginghippy at AP for pointing this out.

Bengals 13-27 Steelers

Well, what a week for the NFL. My beloved Bengals fall to the Steelers. Then the Cowboys get dicked by the referees who were playing for the Seahawks. The Eagles, looking weaker than most American beers, sneak a lucky win past the Chargers. Poor Favre sees yet another game go bye-bye. The Browns went up, then crapped out.

At least the Colts won. Which means that not only are the Texans still the only winless team, the Colts are still the only unbeaten team.

5-2-0 isn't a bad record by any stretch (unless one happens to be in Indianapolis when one says so), but when you think that Cincinnati have yet to beat a team with a winning record, it's not so impressive. But then, Pittsburgh are the only team so far that they've played that's had a winning record, so maybe it's not so bad after all. Or not.

Well, it's not like I expected much more.

Lies, Damn Lies, Statistics, And Right Wing Blogs

A Quaker organisation is going to be marking the day the 2000th US soldier falls in Iraq with rememberance services and prayer vigils.

Why is this seen as bad by the right?

From Daou:

Salon.com - Daou Report:

"MICHELLE MALKIN WADES INTO THE GUTTER: The blog world is certainly not for the political faint of heart. Personal attacks, harsh language, and hyperbole are routine. But in this post, Michelle Malkin sheds every last vestige of decency: 'THE GHOULS OF THE LEFT - They support the troops...by partying over their deaths.' Her post links to a Little Green Footballs entry that makes the same odious argument, namely that this group is throwing 'parties' on the day that we cross 2000 U.S. military deaths in Iraq.

Here's how the actual events are described: 'Events to mark the 2,000th reported U.S. military death will range from candlelight vigils to public actions that illustrate the size of the death toll.' Surely, these aren't 'parties.' I spent years in Beirut, I lived and breathed war, I watched friends get blown to pieces, I've seen horrors I hope Malkin never has to see. Those who are fighting to stop this war deserve the utmost respect, whether or not you agree with their politics. Prominent bloggers like Malkin should know better than to soil our public discourse with this kind of garbage..... Rant over."

Thud!

I'm nearly finished with Thud!, Terry Pratchett's new novel and it is, I must say, yet another triumph. Thought-provoking, sometimes even saddening, but, as always, hilarious. There were several times I found myself laughing out loud, garnering strange looks from those around me.

And this book replaces Night Watch as the Discworld novel I'd most like to see made into a movie, if only for Angua and Sally's scenes, some of which, inexplicably, seem to involve few clothes.

Friday Rodent Blogging

Imo has recently perfected the art of imitating a dead gerbil, an act which he performs in order to scare the hell out of my wife.

Different tactics

One of the interesting things that's come up with the nomination of Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court, so soon after Roberts takes his new job as Chief Justice, is the different tactics.

With Roberts, supporters of the Bush administration were pulling out all the stops in an effort to convince people that he's not a fundy nutbar. With Miers, they're doing the same thing, but in an effort to convince people that she is a fundy nutbar.

We've had various people with dubious personal experience of Ms Miers' opinions slyly nodding, winking, using that signal for instant pause; "trust me on this", all saying that she'll vote to overturn Roe v Wade before she's even warmed her robe up. Prayer in schools, ten commandments monuments in courthouses, forced church attendance, crucifixion for homosexuality, stoning for women who practice pre-marital sex, all are, if the punditry are to be believed, on the horizon and will sweep closer with Miers' confirmation.

So why the change in tactics?

Let's leave aside the question of whether she's qualified to sit on this nation's highest court. It doesn't matter. 41 past Supreme Court Justices have been appointed without a single second's judicial experience, including the late William Rehnquist.

Let's leave aside the question of whether Bush considering her faith as a qualification is a breach of the constitutional prohibition on religious tests for public office.

I'm perplexed as to why something that was thought to scupper Roberts' chances is seen as a boost to Miers'.

And I'm perplexed as to why people are pushing it for all they're worth.

Is her nomination even supposed to succeed?

Katrina aid sent elsewhere

As an adendum to this story about how tonnes of British aid for victims of hurricane Katrina were to be burnt because they were, well, British, comes this:

U.S. rejects Katrina meals, offers them to others

The United States on Friday offered needy countries more than 330,000 packaged meals donated by Britain to feed Hurricane Katrina victims but rejected due to a U.S. ban on British beef.

State Department spokesman Adam Ereli said the "Meals Ready to Eat," or MREs, had been held in a warehouse in Little Rock, Arkansas, for more than a month after U.S. Agriculture Department officials said they could not be distributed in the United States because they contained British beef products.

"We are certainly, for our part, looking to dispose of these MREs that were offered in the spirit of friendship and charity. We are looking to dispose of them in the same way," Ereli told a State Department briefing.

So, not good enough for starving Americans, good enough to palm off on starving non-Americans. Gotcha.

What's even funnier about this is that the situation in Iraq means that soldiers stationed there eat whatever is provided by the closest supply network. So US forces in areas supplied by UK forces eat these very same Compo rations.

Sorry, did I say "funny" when I meant "insane"?

English words every American should know

First in an infrequent series concerning some of this Legal Alien's more obscure phrases.

Today's word: Bollocks.

The word literally means "testicles", but has grown and adapted over the years to fit many different situations:

1: Shock:

Oh bollocks! I didn't see that coming!

2: Disgust:

Oh bollocks! That's gross!

3: To indicate someone is lying:

You're talking bollocks!

4: To indicate one has made a mistake:

Well, I bollocksed that one up!

5: To indicate something is untrue:

What a load of bollocks!

6: To give someone a reprimand:

Man, I got a bollocking over that report...

7: To indicate something is good:

Yeah, Ferraris are the bollocks!

More news on Iraq constitution vote

Further to this story about the big constitution vote in Iraq, I have to correct myself and thank Draco over at AP for pointing out that the Shia reversed themselves, and changed the 2/3 vote requirements from all registered voters back to all votes.

So, a little victory for democracy there, and a slightly easier job for the Sunnis.

However, the Beeb is relating how electoral observers think there may have been some voter fraud:

Iraq vote counts 'point to fraud'

Iraq's independent electoral commission says statistical irregularities in last week's referendum could indicate fraud.

Chief electoral officer Adel Alami did not give details, but he said many provinces' figures were either too high or too low by international standards.

A source told the BBC both the turnout and result levels were of concern.

The electoral commission said on Monday it was re-examining the ballots and that final results from the referendum would be delayed by several days.

Earlier, United Nations election officials in Iraq said the vote had gone well, but some Sunni Arab politicians have alleged corrupt practices were allowed to boost the "yes" vote.

Colts vs Texans

So, the Colts go face the Texans next week. I have two thoughts on this:

First, a new drinking game; Every time someone connected with the broadcast, be they presenter or commentator, uses the phrases "the undefeated Colts" and "the winless Texans" in the same sentence, you have to drink your beer. On second thought, best not to. You'd be dead of alcohol poisoning by the time the game started.

My second thought is on what we call "The Kiss Of Death" or, as my wife calls it, jinxing. So, with that in mind, how much will the Texans stomp the Colts by next week? 20? 30? 40 pts? Will the Colts even score? Surely, with this much of a jinx on them, this'll be the first time a 6-0 team has ever been shut out by an 0-5 team.

(I just googled that. It seems to have never happened before)

Ah well, six days to wait and we'll find out...

Bengals 31-23 Titans

Tense game, outstanding result.

5-1-0

"Courageous" vote in Iraq.

Here's an interesting story from Iraq:

The US has praised Iraqis for turning out in large numbers to vote in a referendum on a new constitution.

The people of Iraq "demonstrated their courageous commitment to a free and democratic future," said an official.

Preliminary estimates say that about 10 million people - roughly 65% of voters - have cast their ballot, but results are not expected for several days.

But, wait a minute. Remember this?

The Shia dominated government in Iraq changed the rules not long ago, meaning it would take two-thirds of all registered voters to defeat the constitution, instead of the previously held two-thirds of actual votes. So, two-thirds is 66.66(recurring) %. 65% voted. Even if every single vote was "no", the constitution passes.

Nice work.

Okay, so that's not quite how it works. Three areas of Iraq need to register a more than two-thirds "no" vote to get it vetoed, but this just shows how hard it will be.

The story states "Official estimates suggest that in seven provinces more than two-thirds of voters did participate - including three where the majority of voters are Sunnis."

So it's still going to be impossible.

Friday Rodent Blogging

Pacha is one spoiled rodent.

Seriously, how many other people have en-suite drinking facilities?

There Is No God (And You Know It)

I wanted to link to this outstanding article by Sam Harris, titled as above.

Almost as entertaining is reading the comments at the bottom of the article. Especially the Christian (y'know, love thy neighbour and all that) who signs as "you are a bonehead" and the unadulterated crap written several times by the poster calling him (or her) self "JohnBryansFontaine".

Wallace and Gromit in The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit

We went and saw the latest offering from Aardman Features today, and I have to say, it's yet another triumph. Sure, a few of the jokes won't register with an American audience, but the appeal is certainly broad enough to come across.

The story is straightforward. Wacky inventor and cheese-obsessive Wallace, and his long-suffering silent canine companion Gromit, are in the security business. Vegetable security. Vegetable Security can be a dangerous proposition in a town where the upcoming Giant Vegetable Competition is jeopardised by the appearance of a rampaging Were-Rabbit.

Wallace is batty as ever. Gromit manages to convey pages of dialogue with only his eyes. Supporting characters are hilarious. The C-of-E vicar, Lady "Totty*" Tottington, and the evil Victor Quartermaine - among others - play second fiddle to our heroes, but are no less endearing for that.

Scene of the movie: Watch for Gromit's reaction when he sees the Were-Rabbit "change" from inside the Anti-Pesto van. Classic.

*hint for Americans: The term "totty" is British slang for "very attractive woman who is, in all likelihood, not particularly intelligent".

General Zod - 2008 Presidential Candidate

I guess it couldn't be any worse..

Zod 2008 - General Zod - 2008 Presidential Candidate

Dino reputation 'is exaggerated'

Here's more of that crazy "study the evidence and use it to evaluate conclusions, correcting them if they are wrong" brand of science.

Sure hope this doesn't catch on. It's so much easier to follow the creationist "ignore all evidence that doesn't fit your beliefs, even if that means you ignore all evidence" style.

(it's also a fascinating story in its own right.)

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Dino reputation 'is exaggerated'

The Velociraptor dinosaur made famous by the Hollywood movie Jurassic Park may not have been quite the super-efficient killer we all thought.

Like other dinos in its family, it had a distinctive sickle-shaped claw on the second toe which many have assumed was employed to disembowel victims.

But tests on a mechanical arm suggest this fearsome-looking appendage was probably used just to hang on to prey.

Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian

From Godless Son, via Atheist Parents.

Bengals 20-23 Jaguars

Made a note in my diary on my way here. Simply says.. "Bugger."

This quote, from the final episode of the brilliant Blackadder Goes Forth, sums up my feelings pretty well. Yep, I know I expected this, I said as much. And yes, I know, 4-1-0 is still a pretty respectable record, and that only the 5-0-0 Colts have a better record. And yes, I know, only one team in history has ever gone an entire season from week 1 to the Superbowl undefeated.

But.. Bugger.

England (and the US!) qualify for the World Cup

It always seems like a little bit of an anti-climax to qualify for the World Cup because someone else won or lost, rather than having the fate of the nation's team depend solely upon their performance in a key match, but, hell, I'll take it.

England are in the World Cup. Woo, and, indeed, hoo.

BBC SPORT | Football | Internationals | England qualify for the World Cup

Because Americans seem so mind-bogglingly against real football, I'll offer my congratulations to the US squad, who have also qualified for Germany 2006. Most Americans will be blissfully unaware that their nation's team for the most popular sport on the planet put in a great show in Korea/Japan 2002, and are shaping up as a team to watch next year. They qualified second in their group, narrowly being beaten for the top spot by Mexico.

I've added a new section to the sidebar with all the relevant links to next year's World Cup, and I'll certainly be keeping up with both US and England's games.

"The beautiful game", indeed.

Friday Rodent Blogging

Imo, displying both Evil Laser Eye and Wolverine claws.

I defy you to tell me he doesn't remind you of Nosferatu.

The eyes, the claws, the pale face, the glare full of soulless malice and evil intent?

Oh, yeah.

On Basra

Just wanted to link to this thread, wherein an old sparring partner and I are "discussing" the Basra situation.

Snake bursts after gobbling gator

Migraine.

Bed.

But before I go...

...cool.

The world just got ever so slightly more interesting

Terry Pratchett, who has done more to make this world bearable than just about any other human ever, has released a double whammy;

Thud, the latest Discworld book, gives us another outstanding look into the world of His Grace His Excellency the Duke of Ankh-Morpork, Commander Sir Samuel Vimes (former blackboard monitor) as he attempts to get to the bottom of what happened at Koom Valley, whilst trying to prevent a repeat, whilst trying to solve the murder of a prominent rabble-rousing Dwarf, whilst trying to find a stolen picture, whilst also trying to read "Where's My Cow?" to his son, young Sam.

Coincidently, Pratchett has also released Where's My Cow?, so that we may read along and get the jokes and, presumably, to read to all our own little Sams. But, of course, anyone familiar with Pratchett's work will know that it's never going to be that simple...

Terry Pratchett's work takes hilarity to a new level, kicks the door in and steals everything of value before burning the place down and riding into the sunset raising two fingers to all the other books.

Check it out.

Sunni anger at Iraq vote change

Don't like the prospect of a fair vote? Change voting procedures to guarantee victory!

Learned your lessons well, you have, young padawan..

BBC NEWS | Middle East | Sunni anger at Iraq vote change:

"The two-thirds majority needed in three provinces to defeat the constitution will now be counted from all registered - as opposed to actual - voters."

Bengals 16-10 Texans

Outstanding result. Shame the commentators had to bring it down with all their griping over Carr's fumble in the 4th.

4-0-0 (for the first time since 1988, apparently)

Further news on the Basra story

Times Online has a story today concerning a new development in Iraq:

"THE radical Shi’ite leader Moqtada al-Sadr has authorised his militia to kidnap two Britons in Iraq in the hope of swapping them for two of his senior officials who are held in Basra by British forces."

What made this story jump out to me was this little nugget of under-reported information:

"A senior official from al-Sadr’s Mahdi army in Baghdad said that al-Sadr had given the order after last month’s dramatic rescue of two SAS men whom he had been hoping to use as bargaining chips."

The two soldiers weren't being held prisoner (as the conspiracy theorists claim), they were handed over by the Iraqi police - in contravention of Iraqi law - in order to serve as hostages.

Fuck that. Y'know, I don't care if those guys were SAS or not. I don't care whether they were up on their old "own-goal" rigging tricks or not. When the people we're supposed to be helping, ignore their own laws, and hand our guys over to be used as hostages, I support every effort to get them back.

Gorilla with stick takes a walk on the safe side

Why does anyone still doubt we're related?

the Mail online | Gorilla with stick takes a walk on the safe side:

"It seems at first glance like just another remarkable example of the wildlife photographer's art - a female gorilla wading through a pool.

But the stick clasped in her right hand changes this picture from fascinating to historic.

It proves for the first time that gorillas - like their relatives Man, chimpanzees and orang-utans - can use tools to overcome problems."

Hi-tech beermats for 21st Century

Yeah, because what the world really needs right now is a way to increase the speed at which people get drunk...

BBC NEWS | Technology | Hi-tech beermats for 21st Century:

"An intelligent beermat that alerts the bartender that your glass is empty could feature in pubs of the future.

Like an ordinary mat, it absorbs drips; but the gadget also has hidden sensors.

The device will detect the weight of the drink above it, working out how much is left before sending a signal to the bar for a refill."

Friday Rodent Blogging

Imo, sleeping, looking all cute and cuddly.

Do not be fooled.