Snakes On A Plane

Yes, Mrs Doombreed and I went to see Snakes On A Plane today.

First, let's talk about what's wrong with the movie:


Okay, now we turn to what's right.


This movie is unashamedly entertaining. The plot is, as far as it goes, pretty good. The characters are largely believable. The script is okay. The acting is okay.

But all of that is irrelevant. There are snakes on a plane. Snakes, to quote the man himself, on crack on a plane.

I really didn't think they made movies like this anymore. This was 100%, pure, unadulterated, unapologetic eye candy. The snakes were beautifully done. The deaths were shocking and horrific. There were multiple jump points. There was Samuel L. Jackson uttering the immortal line about motherfucking snakes on a motherfucking plane. There was no juvenile humour, no treating us, the audience, as too dumb to appreciate a good movie.

There were, sure, nitpicks. There was virtually no character development for many of the main characters. Jackson's character was an FBI agent. Just an FBI agent. He wasn't "the country's top FBI agent", he wasn't "an FBI agent on the eve of retirement", he wasn't "an FBI agent burned out from everything he's witnessed", he wasn't a Gulf War veteran, or a racist learning to appreciate white folk, he wasn't divorced* (we don't even know if he was married), he didn't have estranged kids he was lamenting over, he didn't have a drug or booze problem, there was no seeking redemption, no life-affirming voyages of self-discovery.

And, y'know, that's a refreshing change.

This movie has no chance of winning an Oscar, and will probably not get a single nomination. It makes no social comment, no big point. It doesn't deal with issues in a sensible, mature way. It does not explore the human condition, the boundaries of mind, the interaction of intellect, innerspace, the soul, karma, or the development of being. It makes no statement about the state of the world. It deals with nothing, tackles nothing.

It is one hundred and five minutes of pure cinematic entertainment.

You will be startled. You will be scared. You will be horrified. You will be grossed out. But you will be entertained.

Doombreed rating: * * * * * * (the elusive sixth star. This movie is that good)

*EDIT: Thanks to the diligence of Mrs Doombreed, I'm able to correct this before someone points it out. In fact, Jackson's character does state that he and his partner had been working together through "one failed marriage - each", so he was married and then divorced, but, unlike in, say, 16 blocks, this was a throwaway line and not central to the character.

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