15.3.06

The Hills Have Eyes

This movie is the ultimate in religious conversion. It's so bad that an atheist is left almost praying for the end, and the theist might almost conclude that there can be no god, for no loving deity would allow such drivel to exist.

Yeah, it's that bad.

As a horror, it's only redeeming feature is a blood-quotient that is only surpassed by Braindead. As any form of entertainment, it sucks so hard that many theatres are experiencing minor black holes as a result.

The plot is the done-so-often-before notion of a family breaking down miles from nowhere and getting viciously attacked by the locals. The thing that is supposed to set this movie apart - that the locals are mutants created in the aftermath of US nuclear testing in the New Mexico desert in the 40s and 50s - is so pointless and so disconnected from the script that it might as well have not been included. Sure, that the hideous inbreds are mutants makes them more visually impactful, but other than that it's totally beside the point.

There are jump-points, but the same feeling can be engendered by randomly screaming "BOO!" into the ear of the person in front of you.

The acting is wooden to say the least, the characters are unlikeable, the bad guys are pathetic and the plot devices are juvenile.

I consider this movie to be one of the worst movies I've ever paid to watch.

Doombreed rating: Pants (as in "great big sweaty, smelly pile of your dad's old saggy skidmarked")

No comments: