Well, it's been a hectic couple o' weeks. We moved house, a process that was way harder and took way longer than any two people should have to endure. Still, we're firmly ensconced in our new home. Settling - if not settled - in, just in time for Christmas.
Thus far this year I've been spared much of the "war on Christmas" claptrap, thanks to the fact that I've had neither the time nor inclination to watch The Never Ending Torrent Of Complete And Utter Bullshit That Is FAUX News, however, I did notice one of our greatest and most prolific anti-Christmas warriors firing a beautiful salvo. Yep, that world-renown secular progressive, the Archbishop Of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams, says that the traditional Christmas story - the manger, star, wise men, blah, blah, blah - is only "a legend".
Thanks to the Hippy, here is a lil' Xmas video, and a lil' Xmas song. Don't blame me, I'm just passin' 'em on.
Have a very merry Christmas, Mythmas, Solstice, December 25th, Whatever You're Doing, and don't drink and drive - you'll spill it all over your trousers.
25.12.07
10.12.07
Patriots Win Superbowl
It was a controversial decision, but one that the NFL felt was necessary: The Patriots have won the Superbowl.
With three games still to play in the regular season, the NFL's top competition has long been decided, claims one NFL insider, speaking today on the condition of anonymity.
"It was decided long before the first snap [of the season]. The NFL needed an undefeated team and they fit the bill.
"Sucks to be the '72 Dolphins," he added, referring to the only team to go undefeated through to win the Superbowl up to this year, "but that record is going away."
The decision is, he claimed, motivated by money.
"With an 18-0 team in the Superbowl, ad prices have quadrupled. It's insane. It's like seven, eight million for thirty seconds. And tickets for the Patriots' last three games are already changing hands for twice the cover price."
Memorabilia sales based around the undefeated season are expected to top $100 billion over the next five years, between the Patriots and the NFL's own merchandising.
For the other contenders it has been a bitter pill to swallow. The Dallas Cowboys and the Green Bay Packers - the NFC teams most likely to qualify to lose to the Patriots in the Superbowl - have registered protests, but all in vain.
"It's hard, but they just have to suck it up. The Colts are gonna lose to the Patriots in the AFC championship. Sorry, Payton, sorry Brett, sorry Tony, this is not your year."
The fix hasn't all been plain sailing, however.
"The Eagles and the Ravens gave the NFL a nasty scare. Both teams refused to roll over and play by the script, so the NFL had to create last-minute, game-winning touchdowns in both games. Refusing to review those non-touchdowns gave the Pats the games. Three Ravens guys were even fined for trying to point out the cheating," he said, adding, "the Colts and the Cowboys were beaten by some brilliantly inventive penalty calling by the refereeing squads. The Pats would be 9-4 right now - or worse - if the NFL weren't steering things the way they wanted."
The 19-0 Patriots have to play the Jets and the Dolphins before facing the Giants in their final game, which could be a problem according to our source.
"As of now, the Giants are still looking for a playoff berth, even though they aren't allowed to win the Superbowl. If they go into the 16th game needing to win, the NFL may have to call on the referees in order to make sure that the Pats continue to go undefeated. Watch out for Giants being called for offside when they blink, and looking in the general direction of Randy Moss will be called as pass interference.
"It's not fair, but this is football. It's not a sport, it's a business.
"People would love to see Brett [Favre of the Green Bay Packers] win another [Superbowl] ring before he retires, or see Payton [Manning of the Indianapolis Colts] go back-to-back, or see Tony [Romo of the Dallas Cowboys] win in his first full season as a starter, but it's far more profitable for the Patriots to win the whole ball of wax.
"And next year? Wait and see, but just think how much money could be made off of back-to-back undefeated seasons."
This article is a parody. It is not intended to be taken seriously. It is, however, intended to express my very real frustration, and the very real frustration of Eagles and Ravens fans, not to mention fans of fair competition in sport, at the way that the Patriots are cheating their way to an undefeated season, and especially at the way that the NFL's referees seem determined to help them. Play fair or don't play at all.
With three games still to play in the regular season, the NFL's top competition has long been decided, claims one NFL insider, speaking today on the condition of anonymity.
"It was decided long before the first snap [of the season]. The NFL needed an undefeated team and they fit the bill.
"Sucks to be the '72 Dolphins," he added, referring to the only team to go undefeated through to win the Superbowl up to this year, "but that record is going away."
Money
The decision is, he claimed, motivated by money.
"With an 18-0 team in the Superbowl, ad prices have quadrupled. It's insane. It's like seven, eight million for thirty seconds. And tickets for the Patriots' last three games are already changing hands for twice the cover price."
Memorabilia sales based around the undefeated season are expected to top $100 billion over the next five years, between the Patriots and the NFL's own merchandising.
For the other contenders it has been a bitter pill to swallow. The Dallas Cowboys and the Green Bay Packers - the NFC teams most likely to qualify to lose to the Patriots in the Superbowl - have registered protests, but all in vain.
"It's hard, but they just have to suck it up. The Colts are gonna lose to the Patriots in the AFC championship. Sorry, Payton, sorry Brett, sorry Tony, this is not your year."
The fix hasn't all been plain sailing, however.
Close Call
"The Eagles and the Ravens gave the NFL a nasty scare. Both teams refused to roll over and play by the script, so the NFL had to create last-minute, game-winning touchdowns in both games. Refusing to review those non-touchdowns gave the Pats the games. Three Ravens guys were even fined for trying to point out the cheating," he said, adding, "the Colts and the Cowboys were beaten by some brilliantly inventive penalty calling by the refereeing squads. The Pats would be 9-4 right now - or worse - if the NFL weren't steering things the way they wanted."
The 19-0 Patriots have to play the Jets and the Dolphins before facing the Giants in their final game, which could be a problem according to our source.
"As of now, the Giants are still looking for a playoff berth, even though they aren't allowed to win the Superbowl. If they go into the 16th game needing to win, the NFL may have to call on the referees in order to make sure that the Pats continue to go undefeated. Watch out for Giants being called for offside when they blink, and looking in the general direction of Randy Moss will be called as pass interference.
"It's not fair, but this is football. It's not a sport, it's a business.
"People would love to see Brett [Favre of the Green Bay Packers] win another [Superbowl] ring before he retires, or see Payton [Manning of the Indianapolis Colts] go back-to-back, or see Tony [Romo of the Dallas Cowboys] win in his first full season as a starter, but it's far more profitable for the Patriots to win the whole ball of wax.
"And next year? Wait and see, but just think how much money could be made off of back-to-back undefeated seasons."
* * * *
This article is a parody. It is not intended to be taken seriously. It is, however, intended to express my very real frustration, and the very real frustration of Eagles and Ravens fans, not to mention fans of fair competition in sport, at the way that the Patriots are cheating their way to an undefeated season, and especially at the way that the NFL's referees seem determined to help them. Play fair or don't play at all.
11.11.07
10 Signs You've Been Playing Way Too Much Resident Evil
When you see a potted plant, you check to see how you feel.
The sound of a dog's claws on tile makes your right index finger twitch.
When out after dark, the sight of moonlight glinting off of broken glass causes you to turn and take two steps before you realise what you're doing.
You get a quiet, nagging urge to reload before opening doors.
The sight of a parked police car gives you a surge of hope.
You think typewriters are for the weak, but still make a mental note of where you saw one.
A broom leaning against a neighbour's wall looks like it might be handy in a tight spot.
You peer into alleyways to see if there's anything useful lying around.
You understand what all of the above mean.
And number 1:
You suddenly remember that it's been a few days since you last blogged, and when you check, it's been more like three weeks...
The sound of a dog's claws on tile makes your right index finger twitch.
When out after dark, the sight of moonlight glinting off of broken glass causes you to turn and take two steps before you realise what you're doing.
You get a quiet, nagging urge to reload before opening doors.
The sight of a parked police car gives you a surge of hope.
You think typewriters are for the weak, but still make a mental note of where you saw one.
A broom leaning against a neighbour's wall looks like it might be handy in a tight spot.
You peer into alleyways to see if there's anything useful lying around.
You understand what all of the above mean.
And number 1:
You suddenly remember that it's been a few days since you last blogged, and when you check, it's been more like three weeks...
16.10.07
An extreme blast from the past
Thanks to Bing, who sent me this video via my facebook page.
The show is real. I grew up watching Rainbow, and all characters and puppets are real and acting in character, however, this episode never aired.
Rumour has it that this was filmed as a joke for a Christmas party, and the tape was released much later. This hasn't stopped many people who tout this as a genuine, aired episode.
Whatever, it's hilarious.
Cheers Bing.
The show is real. I grew up watching Rainbow, and all characters and puppets are real and acting in character, however, this episode never aired.
Rumour has it that this was filmed as a joke for a Christmas party, and the tape was released much later. This hasn't stopped many people who tout this as a genuine, aired episode.
Whatever, it's hilarious.
Cheers Bing.
12.10.07
Friday Cat Blogging
"Am I living in a box
Am I living in a cardboard box
Am I living in a box..."
Loki, for reasons best known to himself, pretends to be homelesskitty.
Friday Rodent Blogging
Selene, looking into a new career as a stuntgerbil for the movie industry, prepares to practice her death-defying leap off of a house act.
When I were a lad...
A financial advisor in Hertfordshire has been ordered to pay £75 to three kids who "teased" him over his mustache.
The world has changed. Had I gone to my parents to tell them that a man had threatened me because we were yelling insults at him, my dad would have given me a thick ear and dragged me to the guy to apologise.
Now you get spending money for it.
I'm 33. There's no way I should be using, in all seriousness, phrases like "in my day" and "when I was young".
It's not just that the world is changing. It's that it's changing so bloody fast..
The world has changed. Had I gone to my parents to tell them that a man had threatened me because we were yelling insults at him, my dad would have given me a thick ear and dragged me to the guy to apologise.
Now you get spending money for it.
I'm 33. There's no way I should be using, in all seriousness, phrases like "in my day" and "when I was young".
It's not just that the world is changing. It's that it's changing so bloody fast..
7.10.07
News From The Land Of The Bizarre
Cops Arrest 11-Year-Old Driving A Car At Over 100mph.
Apparently his parents have been letting him drive for six months.
That's it. No editorialising. I think the article is unbelievable enough as it is.
Apparently his parents have been letting him drive for six months.
That's it. No editorialising. I think the article is unbelievable enough as it is.
5.10.07
Friday Rodent And Cat Blogging
Cats And Laundry: Innocent Flirtation Or Sinister Obsession?
DOOMBREED HOUSEHOLD: FRIDAY
Laundry day brings much that is not fun, but watching Loki play is definitely a plus. He even climbs into the laundry basket to make himself comfortable amongst the clothes:
Once the clothes have been bagged up and await transport to the laundry room, Loki watches over them with care:
However, this playful fun hides a much darker secret, as our reporter uncovered the shocking truth. Cats worship laundry. Using a secret hidden camera our reporter went undercover to get the following disturbing images.
Here we see a cat clearly bowing down to the pile of fresh laundry, prostrating in worship:
And here, an adherent leads his followers in a hymn of praise for the lemony-fresh scent:
And finally, in what appears to be a ritual cleansing, one worshiper takes a bath, right on the clothes:
The revelations have caused a stir in the Doombreed household.
A spokesperson for the household's rodent constituency said "I don't want that laundry-worshiping freak anywhere near me.
"Although that's got more to do with his dagger-like claws and nasty teeth - not to mention his homicidal nature - than his religion" she went on. "But you've got to admit that praying to a bunch of clothes is just loopy."
At time of press, the cat constituency had refused to comment on the pictures.
DOOMBREED HOUSEHOLD: FRIDAY
Laundry day brings much that is not fun, but watching Loki play is definitely a plus. He even climbs into the laundry basket to make himself comfortable amongst the clothes:
Once the clothes have been bagged up and await transport to the laundry room, Loki watches over them with care:
However, this playful fun hides a much darker secret, as our reporter uncovered the shocking truth. Cats worship laundry. Using a secret hidden camera our reporter went undercover to get the following disturbing images.
Here we see a cat clearly bowing down to the pile of fresh laundry, prostrating in worship:
And here, an adherent leads his followers in a hymn of praise for the lemony-fresh scent:
And finally, in what appears to be a ritual cleansing, one worshiper takes a bath, right on the clothes:
The revelations have caused a stir in the Doombreed household.
A spokesperson for the household's rodent constituency said "I don't want that laundry-worshiping freak anywhere near me.
"Although that's got more to do with his dagger-like claws and nasty teeth - not to mention his homicidal nature - than his religion" she went on. "But you've got to admit that praying to a bunch of clothes is just loopy."
At time of press, the cat constituency had refused to comment on the pictures.
2.10.07
Oh bugger..
The new BBC catalogue arrived today, which means I'm going to spend a while looking through it at all of the things I miss.. Only Fools And Horses.. Are You Being Served?.. The Young Ones.. Dad's Army.. Last of the Summer Wine.. Carry On.. The Avengers.. The New Statesman.. Monty Python.. The Day Of The Triffids.. Dangermouse.. Cadfael.. The Sweeney.. both Basil Rathbone and Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes..
They just don't make telly like that anymore.
At least there's still Dr Who.
And I'll have to reminisce quietly because Mrs Doombreed is sick.
Must go.
They just don't make telly like that anymore.
At least there's still Dr Who.
And I'll have to reminisce quietly because Mrs Doombreed is sick.
Must go.
1.10.07
Bengals 13-34 Patriots
Well, it was bad enough watching the Bengals get beaten. It was worse that it was the fuckin' Patriots.
But even worse was the chronic masturbation that was going on in the commentator's booth.
These guys were jerking themselves off just as hard as they could.
I am sick and tired of hearing about how the Patriot's cheating doesn't tarnish the team or its victories.
Hey, guess what? They cheated. If that doesn't tarnish a team, I'd like to see what does.
I'm sick and tired of hearing these commentators wanking off about how the players support their coach.
Yeah, so they players stand behind their coach when he's caught cheating? What does that say about them? That they approve. It's that simple. They approve of cheating. This wasn't a mistake, it wasn't an error, it wasn't a lapse in judgment, the coach knowingly and deliberately - despite that ridiculous "misunderstanding of the rules" excuse - set out to cheat and the players are okay with that.
I'm sick and tired of hearing that the filming "didn't provide any competitive advantage" because it was "for later use".
Yeah, and how naive do you have to be to believe this was the first time they'd done it just because it was the first time they'd been caught?
And how naive do you have to be to believe that they've stopped? Oh, they may not be filming any more, but I'd bet even money that all that that means is they've stopped filming. I'd bet they've probably still got someone watching through binoculars and making notes or something.
I'm sick and tired of hearing that this is all a storm in a teacup because Bill Belichick and the Patriots were just doing what it takes to be competitive.
I don't care if being an NFL coach is a tough and competitive job. I don't care if coaches are under pressure to use every available means to win. I don't care. I don't care. Play the fucking game or don't bother showing up.
I'm not hating. The Patriots are a great team, very talented. Tom Brady may be the single best Quarterback playing at the moment. It's certainly an argument that can be made. But like the Argentinians of the eighties, the fact that they are so talented just makes the cheating all the harder to swallow.
I'm a believer in the philosophy that it's better to lose a game playing fair than it is to win cheating. Maybe I'm too old fashioned that way. Maye I'm too British that way. Maybe there's so much money in the game that the rulebook is slowly becoming irrelevant. Maybe it's okay to cheat. Maybe it's only a matter of time before Belichick positions a sniper on the roof of the stadium to take out opposing receivers.
After all, he's only doing what it takes to win.
But, tonight, I'm most sick and tired of hearing about how wonderful the Patriots are because they're beating a Bengals team that is at less than half strength, decimated by injury.
Yeah, what a triumph.
1-3.
But even worse was the chronic masturbation that was going on in the commentator's booth.
These guys were jerking themselves off just as hard as they could.
I am sick and tired of hearing about how the Patriot's cheating doesn't tarnish the team or its victories.
Hey, guess what? They cheated. If that doesn't tarnish a team, I'd like to see what does.
I'm sick and tired of hearing these commentators wanking off about how the players support their coach.
Yeah, so they players stand behind their coach when he's caught cheating? What does that say about them? That they approve. It's that simple. They approve of cheating. This wasn't a mistake, it wasn't an error, it wasn't a lapse in judgment, the coach knowingly and deliberately - despite that ridiculous "misunderstanding of the rules" excuse - set out to cheat and the players are okay with that.
I'm sick and tired of hearing that the filming "didn't provide any competitive advantage" because it was "for later use".
Yeah, and how naive do you have to be to believe this was the first time they'd done it just because it was the first time they'd been caught?
And how naive do you have to be to believe that they've stopped? Oh, they may not be filming any more, but I'd bet even money that all that that means is they've stopped filming. I'd bet they've probably still got someone watching through binoculars and making notes or something.
I'm sick and tired of hearing that this is all a storm in a teacup because Bill Belichick and the Patriots were just doing what it takes to be competitive.
I don't care if being an NFL coach is a tough and competitive job. I don't care if coaches are under pressure to use every available means to win. I don't care. I don't care. Play the fucking game or don't bother showing up.
I'm not hating. The Patriots are a great team, very talented. Tom Brady may be the single best Quarterback playing at the moment. It's certainly an argument that can be made. But like the Argentinians of the eighties, the fact that they are so talented just makes the cheating all the harder to swallow.
I'm a believer in the philosophy that it's better to lose a game playing fair than it is to win cheating. Maybe I'm too old fashioned that way. Maye I'm too British that way. Maybe there's so much money in the game that the rulebook is slowly becoming irrelevant. Maybe it's okay to cheat. Maybe it's only a matter of time before Belichick positions a sniper on the roof of the stadium to take out opposing receivers.
After all, he's only doing what it takes to win.
But, tonight, I'm most sick and tired of hearing about how wonderful the Patriots are because they're beating a Bengals team that is at less than half strength, decimated by injury.
Yeah, what a triumph.
1-3.
28.9.07
Friday Cat Blogging
It seems that Selene has been giving Loki lessons in how to give the stinkeye.
Just look at that expression..
Friday Rodent Blogging
It took me 3.46 seconds longer than the mandated time to provide a pumpkin seed earlier, so Selene is.. not happy..
26.9.07
Crazy Belated Everything Post
Between celebrating our anniversary (yay!), watching the Bengals get thrashed (crap!) and going back to work (boo!) things have slid a little around here, so this is a catch-up post.
First:
Friday Rodent Blogging
Selene would like a moment for rebuttal, in re the question of the happiest match, and would like to submit gerbil and pumpkin seed as a contender.
Friday Cat Blogging
Attack! Attack the hand! Kill! Kill! Kill!
The Anglo-Saxon Project
This is the latest. The green stuff (kneadatite) arrived and progress was made. I started with just the helmet and the neck piece, leaving the sides and face mask 'till later. For reasons that aren't fully clear, even to me, I also added the crest. With some tidying, I should be able to finish this in about.. a year or two.
Actually, one more session should see it near done.
First:
Friday Rodent Blogging
Selene would like a moment for rebuttal, in re the question of the happiest match, and would like to submit gerbil and pumpkin seed as a contender.
Friday Cat Blogging
Attack! Attack the hand! Kill! Kill! Kill!
The Anglo-Saxon Project
This is the latest. The green stuff (kneadatite) arrived and progress was made. I started with just the helmet and the neck piece, leaving the sides and face mask 'till later. For reasons that aren't fully clear, even to me, I also added the crest. With some tidying, I should be able to finish this in about.. a year or two.
Actually, one more session should see it near done.
21.9.07
The Anglo-Saxon Project
Here's a modest update:
I've gone about as far as I can do with this until my supply of green stuff arrives.
I started with this figure:
This is basically a standard Praetorian Lieutenant model, but I had already reshaped the sword, making it a powersword rather than a chainsword. I needed to strip the paint from the model and do some more work:
I removed the sword's handguard and reshaped the blade into a short sword. I am considering reshaping the blade further in order to give it the distinctive Anglo-Saxon tapered look. I then ground the helmet and face down to give me a nice base to work on.
And that, pending kneadatite, is all folks.
Apart from the name. The British Museum site plays it coy about the identity of the helm's owner, but the Sutton Hoo site declares him to be Rædwald, King of East Anglia and later, one of the most powerful figures in Anglo-Saxon history.
Accordingly, this character shall be called Major Rædwald, 22nd regiment, Praetorian Guard.
I've gone about as far as I can do with this until my supply of green stuff arrives.
I started with this figure:
This is basically a standard Praetorian Lieutenant model, but I had already reshaped the sword, making it a powersword rather than a chainsword. I needed to strip the paint from the model and do some more work:
I removed the sword's handguard and reshaped the blade into a short sword. I am considering reshaping the blade further in order to give it the distinctive Anglo-Saxon tapered look. I then ground the helmet and face down to give me a nice base to work on.
And that, pending kneadatite, is all folks.
Apart from the name. The British Museum site plays it coy about the identity of the helm's owner, but the Sutton Hoo site declares him to be Rædwald, King of East Anglia and later, one of the most powerful figures in Anglo-Saxon history.
Accordingly, this character shall be called Major Rædwald, 22nd regiment, Praetorian Guard.
17.9.07
This Week's Impossible Dream
Here's a nice picture:
If you're from England, I probably don't have to tell you what that is. But for those not from The Centre Of The Universe, or for those to whom history is merely something that happens to other people, that is the Anglo-Saxon helmet discovered at Sutton Hoo, now on display at the British Museum. The Sutton Hoo burial mound was first excavated in 1939 and a wealth of treasures were unearthed from an unidentified Anglo-Saxon king's burial ship.
This helmet has fascinated me ever since I saw the original as a schoolkid. I love the look of the piece.
The British Museum also has this replica, made by the Tower Of London Armouries, which shows the helmet in all of its original glory:
The trip down memory lane that led to the British Museum's website also sowed the seed of a mad idea now germinating inside the fizzing fireworks display that I sometimes, but not often, call my mind.I have a spare Praetorian Lieutenant model. And that helmet would look just awesome on him.
Yes..
And I have the week off work..
I'll get back to you if there is any progress.
All images © Trustees of the British Museum.
16.9.07
Blogger Play
Blogger has a new feature, where you can sit and watch the pictures that are currently being uploaded.
It's called Blogger Play and it's strangely compelling. Be careful, though. There's no filter and sometimes people post pictures that are a little.. ah.. near the knuckle..
It's called Blogger Play and it's strangely compelling. Be careful, though. There's no filter and sometimes people post pictures that are a little.. ah.. near the knuckle..
14.9.07
Friday Rodent Blogging
This week we present, via a cool feature on our picture editing software, Selene as a comic book character.Wonder if Marvel is looking for a new title?
Our Lord, Who Art In London..
From our You Cannot Make This Shit Up desk comes the story that HRH Prince Phillip is God.
So HRH Prince Charles is Jesus, right?
Hat tip to Simon.
So HRH Prince Charles is Jesus, right?
Hat tip to Simon.
10.9.07
Bengals 27-20 Ravens
What a rollercoaster this was. Yep, the NFL's back, and the opener at Paul Brown Stadium was a heart-in-mouth sweatfest. Right down to the wire, thanks to some dodgy foul calls granting the Ravens nine attempts to get into the end zone from spitting distance ending in one beautiful interception.
Fantastic.
On to other news:
Buffalo Bills tight end Kevin Everett suffered a fractured spine in yesterday's game with the Denver Broncos. Today's news is not a good. Everett suffered a fracture dislocation between the third and fourth cervical vertebrae and, according to team orthopedist Dr Andrew Cappuchino, "the third cervical vertebra had translocated completely over the front of the fourth cervical vertebra causing a scissoring effect on the spinal cord."
Everett underwent surgery to relieve the pressure, where the two vertebrae in question were fused together. The injury could still potentially prove lethal, and more will be known in the next three days.
Here's hoping he pulls through.
And, just to finish off.
It will come as no surprise to anyone who reads this blog that I intensely dislike the New England Patriots. They're loud-mouthed, big-headed, and they cheat. A lot.
And now they've been caught.
Hoo-bloody-ray.
Fantastic.
On to other news:
Buffalo Bills tight end Kevin Everett suffered a fractured spine in yesterday's game with the Denver Broncos. Today's news is not a good. Everett suffered a fracture dislocation between the third and fourth cervical vertebrae and, according to team orthopedist Dr Andrew Cappuchino, "the third cervical vertebra had translocated completely over the front of the fourth cervical vertebra causing a scissoring effect on the spinal cord."
Everett underwent surgery to relieve the pressure, where the two vertebrae in question were fused together. The injury could still potentially prove lethal, and more will be known in the next three days.
Here's hoping he pulls through.
And, just to finish off.
It will come as no surprise to anyone who reads this blog that I intensely dislike the New England Patriots. They're loud-mouthed, big-headed, and they cheat. A lot.
And now they've been caught.
Hoo-bloody-ray.
8.9.07
Friday Rodent Blogging (Belated)
Selene, upset that the c-word got a video last week, wanted her own. Selene Productions Inc proudly presents The Great Pumpkin Seed Rescue, a short movie where our heroine bravely rescues a pumpkin seed from The Big Giant Hand and whisks it to safety.
7.9.07
Oh no they didn't...
More proof, as if that were needed, that Australians are completely and utterly barking mad, whilst, at the same time, have balls of steel, emerged today.
Via AMERICAblog to Crooks and Liars comes the story of how a bunch of Australian comediens waltzed through the security surrounding US President George Bush - which costs AU$1million per hour - with one of their number dressed like Osama bin Laden:
The comedians, from a show called The Chaser's War On Everything take an honest Aussie's dislike for everything in authority and take it to the max:
Yes. The story is worrying. It is worrying that a AU$1million per hour security force could be that piss-poor. Don't lose sight of that.
And, notice the pattern. The government ends up with egg on its face, but the comedians end up in jail.
Via AMERICAblog to Crooks and Liars comes the story of how a bunch of Australian comediens waltzed through the security surrounding US President George Bush - which costs AU$1million per hour - with one of their number dressed like Osama bin Laden:
The comedians, from a show called The Chaser's War On Everything take an honest Aussie's dislike for everything in authority and take it to the max:
Yes. The story is worrying. It is worrying that a AU$1million per hour security force could be that piss-poor. Don't lose sight of that.
And, notice the pattern. The government ends up with egg on its face, but the comedians end up in jail.
5.9.07
Judge says "I hate everybody"
And the draconian society marches on. Now Lord Justice Sedley says that everyone who lives - or even just visits - the UK should have their DNA taken and stored on the national DNA database, which is already the largest in the world.
You may want to think on that. The UK has a population of 60m people. The USA has 300m. That's five times more. Yet the UK has more DNA profiles on record than the USA.
And Sedley isn't the first to suggest this horrific breach of privacy. In 2006, Tony Blair made a similar proposal.
We can only be grateful that, at least, those north of the border still have their testicles and, what's even more encouraging, they still have hair on them. Not only did the Scottish government reject Sedley's idea, but DNA from those arrested must be destroyed if they are not prosecuted.
Real men wear kilts it seems, and give up their DNA for no man.
This makes me glad I don't live in the UK. They can have my DNA when they drain it from my cold, dead veins.
You may want to think on that. The UK has a population of 60m people. The USA has 300m. That's five times more. Yet the UK has more DNA profiles on record than the USA.
And Sedley isn't the first to suggest this horrific breach of privacy. In 2006, Tony Blair made a similar proposal.
We can only be grateful that, at least, those north of the border still have their testicles and, what's even more encouraging, they still have hair on them. Not only did the Scottish government reject Sedley's idea, but DNA from those arrested must be destroyed if they are not prosecuted.
Real men wear kilts it seems, and give up their DNA for no man.
This makes me glad I don't live in the UK. They can have my DNA when they drain it from my cold, dead veins.
4.9.07
3.9.07
The Bourne Ultimatum
Third in the series. You know the drill. If you didn't like the first two, why would you go see the third?
Okay, The Bourne Ultimatum. Third movie about the rogue assassin Jason Bourne, based upon The Bourne Identity by Robert Ludlum. I stress that The Bourne Ultimatum isn't based upon the book of the same name (and neither was The Bourne Supremacy based upon the second book in the series), because the first movie departed so radically from the book's storyline that the second and third installments just wouldn't have made sense as written.
I loved the books. The books are incredible. The films, though different in many ways, are almost as good.
There is, as with the first two, one flaw. Shakicam. It's like the opposite of Steadicam. It's where many scenes are shot from a shaking camera, as though filmed by an amateur using a hand-held whilst sitting on a massage chair. I guess there's supposed to be some aspect of this that lends gritty realism to the movie that I am simply too unsophisticated to grasp, in my ignorance of the director's art, but it annoys the hell out of me. If I wanted to see the action wobbling all over the place I'd consume a bottle of fine Scotch before watching, and have a much more pleasurable experience for it.
Seriously, it's not big and it's not clever. Hold the bloody camera steady.
The movie itself is excellent. The storyline is gripping, the action is thrilling, and Matt Damon as Jason Bourne is as violently endearing as ever. The movie is a fitting continuation of the Bourne narrative.
Oh. Continuation? Yeah, there's a fourth and fifth book - The Bourne Legacy and The Bourne Betrayal - so it's even money that there may be one more film at least. I haven't read, nor do I have plans to read, these new books because they are not written by Ludlum, but by Eric Van Lustbader, and such projects are, in my experience, invariably disappointing.
This movie is, though, worth your time.
Doombreed Rating: * * * *
Okay, The Bourne Ultimatum. Third movie about the rogue assassin Jason Bourne, based upon The Bourne Identity by Robert Ludlum. I stress that The Bourne Ultimatum isn't based upon the book of the same name (and neither was The Bourne Supremacy based upon the second book in the series), because the first movie departed so radically from the book's storyline that the second and third installments just wouldn't have made sense as written.
I loved the books. The books are incredible. The films, though different in many ways, are almost as good.
There is, as with the first two, one flaw. Shakicam. It's like the opposite of Steadicam. It's where many scenes are shot from a shaking camera, as though filmed by an amateur using a hand-held whilst sitting on a massage chair. I guess there's supposed to be some aspect of this that lends gritty realism to the movie that I am simply too unsophisticated to grasp, in my ignorance of the director's art, but it annoys the hell out of me. If I wanted to see the action wobbling all over the place I'd consume a bottle of fine Scotch before watching, and have a much more pleasurable experience for it.
Seriously, it's not big and it's not clever. Hold the bloody camera steady.
The movie itself is excellent. The storyline is gripping, the action is thrilling, and Matt Damon as Jason Bourne is as violently endearing as ever. The movie is a fitting continuation of the Bourne narrative.
Oh. Continuation? Yeah, there's a fourth and fifth book - The Bourne Legacy and The Bourne Betrayal - so it's even money that there may be one more film at least. I haven't read, nor do I have plans to read, these new books because they are not written by Ludlum, but by Eric Van Lustbader, and such projects are, in my experience, invariably disappointing.
This movie is, though, worth your time.
Doombreed Rating: * * * *
2.9.07
Carnival Of The Godless
The latest Carnival Of The Godless is up at AtheistFAQ.
And look! That's me on there. I submitted the piece I wrote about an atheist symbol and lo, it was good...
Must tidy up.. We've got company coming..
And look! That's me on there. I submitted the piece I wrote about an atheist symbol and lo, it was good...
Must tidy up.. We've got company coming..
Friday Cat Blogging
Thanks to some trouble with Blogger's new video feature (which I eventually had to abandon in favour of using the ever outstanding photobucket), FRB and FCB were a little delayed. My humblest apologies.
CAT! LASER! HOURS OF FUN!
(No, your computer isn't broken, my camera doesn't record sound.)
CAT! LASER! HOURS OF FUN!
(No, your computer isn't broken, my camera doesn't record sound.)
1.9.07
Friday Rodent Blogging
Selene is not happy about being photographed whilst eating. Not happy at all.
31.8.07
In The Grim Darkness Of The Far Future There Is Only.. Lego?
Via Bullymike at 40kology comes Jerac's Lego Site, a place where one man melds 40k with small plastic bricks..
Fantastic. Utter genius.
Fantastic. Utter genius.
30.8.07
Warhammer 40,000: Apocalypse
Games Workshop have a new expansion for the venerable 40k game on the way. It's called Warhammer 40,000: Apocalypse and it deals with truly large scale games.
And it has miniatures to boot.
Seeing as I'm an IG player, here are the new IG releases in order of how much I would cut off of my body in order to get them:
Baneblade - Any three body parts (with the exception of head and genitalia) and any two facial features.*
Emperor's Talons - Any three limbs and any one facial feature.
Leman Russ Squadron - Both legs and left arm.
Basilisk Battery - Any two limbs, provided both arms are not taken.
Emperor's Fist Tank Company - Left arm and left leg.
Armoured Fist Squad - Any one limb.
Emperor's Wrath Artillery Company - Left hand or either foot.
New Commissars - Left thumb and forefinger for the one with the powerfist and book, left middle finger for the one with the bolt pistol, or left hand for all three.
The observant will notice that the Ogryns are missing from the above list. The reason for this is simple. They suck. In fact, if you've got a moment, they suck so hard that small children may need some sort of safety harness when near them, lest they be sucked right in to the suckyness. The Bone'ead is not too bad, but even he sucks mightily.
I might accept the Ogryns, were someone to give them to me free with, say, a pint of caramel ice cream and a twelve pack of Boddingtons.
*These are not serious offers. Please do not send pictures of yourself holding one of these items and an invitation to "start cutting". Take it for what it is, a joke about just how droolworthy those new items are. The fact that I feel the need to add this speaks volumes about the Internet.
And it has miniatures to boot.
Seeing as I'm an IG player, here are the new IG releases in order of how much I would cut off of my body in order to get them:
Baneblade - Any three body parts (with the exception of head and genitalia) and any two facial features.*
Emperor's Talons - Any three limbs and any one facial feature.
Leman Russ Squadron - Both legs and left arm.
Basilisk Battery - Any two limbs, provided both arms are not taken.
Emperor's Fist Tank Company - Left arm and left leg.
Armoured Fist Squad - Any one limb.
Emperor's Wrath Artillery Company - Left hand or either foot.
New Commissars - Left thumb and forefinger for the one with the powerfist and book, left middle finger for the one with the bolt pistol, or left hand for all three.
The observant will notice that the Ogryns are missing from the above list. The reason for this is simple. They suck. In fact, if you've got a moment, they suck so hard that small children may need some sort of safety harness when near them, lest they be sucked right in to the suckyness. The Bone'ead is not too bad, but even he sucks mightily.
I might accept the Ogryns, were someone to give them to me free with, say, a pint of caramel ice cream and a twelve pack of Boddingtons.
*These are not serious offers. Please do not send pictures of yourself holding one of these items and an invitation to "start cutting". Take it for what it is, a joke about just how droolworthy those new items are. The fact that I feel the need to add this speaks volumes about the Internet.
25.8.07
Friday Cat Blogging
Loki, playing with his favourite toy - the yellow-fluffy-ball-that-boings - shows his not-so-cute side with those claws.
Friday Rodent Blogging
Selene, worried by the news that there is a c-word in the house, checks on her security precautions.
Fans need not worry, she is safe.
24.8.07
22.8.07
We've Been Adpoted!
This is Loki, relaxing as only a cat can:
Loki befriended Mrs Doombreed the other day and we took him in. He's housebroken and friendly, but he's almost depressingly thin so it seems obvious that someone has kicked him out.
Here he is awake, but still more relaxed than I could manage:
Here he is using Mrs Doombreed as an impromptu cat bed:
And finally, an obscure Kentucky State Law, passed in the late nineteenth century, requires that anyone posting pictures of a cat on a blog must, on pain of "being paddled with a wet haddock" post at least one picture of said cat with a ball of wool:
So, Friday Cat Blogging will join Friday Rodent Blogging as your source for all things cute.
Loki befriended Mrs Doombreed the other day and we took him in. He's housebroken and friendly, but he's almost depressingly thin so it seems obvious that someone has kicked him out.
Here he is awake, but still more relaxed than I could manage:
Here he is using Mrs Doombreed as an impromptu cat bed:
And finally, an obscure Kentucky State Law, passed in the late nineteenth century, requires that anyone posting pictures of a cat on a blog must, on pain of "being paddled with a wet haddock" post at least one picture of said cat with a ball of wool:
So, Friday Cat Blogging will join Friday Rodent Blogging as your source for all things cute.
18.8.07
An Atheist Symbol
Even the less observant readers will have noticed that prominent red letter "A" decorating the sidebar beneath the picture of the devilishly handsome rogue who is sleeping with my wife.
It's okay, though. I'm sleeping with the devilishly handsome rogue's wife, too. And she's hot.
Anyway. The "A".
It's the symbol of Richard Dawkins' OUT campaign, which seeks to encourage atheists to get loud and proud.
I first heard about it over at Pharyngula, where the usual argument ensued.
It is, indeed, true that getting atheists to do anything together is like herding cats. It stands to reason, if we were inclined to run with the crowd, we'd be religious.
Anyway, the usual problems with any symbol designed to represent atheism were raised.
First, that it's an "A". Whilst the word for atheist begins with an "A" in most languages, there are some in which it does not, and, of course, there are those languages which do not use the Latin alphabet, so "A" doesn't represent the word atheism everywhere.
Second, the "A" doesn't really represent atheism. It's just the first letter of the word, it doesn't really represent us or what we are.
Then there's the fact that it's a scarlet letter. Yeah, we get the whole "ironic twist" thing, but some aren't comfortable with it.
The atom symbol favoured by American Atheists is often rejected by non-Americans for that same reason, that it represents American atheists.
Some propose using the "no" sign (red circle with a slash through it), usually over a crucifix or collection of religious symbols. Most reject this, as do I, because it makes a statement about what we are not, rather than what we are.
Others favour the null set symbol "{}", but to me, that seems in need of too much explanation.
Still, mindful of the "put up or shut up" philosophy of life, I decided to see about designing an atheist symbol that addresses these issues.
I decided to work to the following requirements:
1) It must represent what atheism is, not what it is not.
2) It must either be understandable in any language, or translatable into any language without spoiling the integrity of the symbol.
3) It must be reasonably easy to understand with, if necessary, only the minimum amount of explanation.
Here's what I came up with:
One of the things I remember from school biology class is that there's this cool machine that makes squigly patterns when you connect it to peoples' heads.
Don't mind me, I'm just playing dumb.
It's called an EEG, and there is a visible difference between the pattern generated by a sleeping subject and that generated by an awake subject.
There is also a marked difference between a person who is relaxed, and a person who is thinking cognitively (which means thinking about stuff as opposed to thinking about an object they can see).
The latter are called Gamma waves and, thanks to the nice people at the Wikimedia commons, here is an example:
So, this is what it looks like when you think about stuff. What more perfect symbol could there be? This, in fact, is your brain on atheism. It's a little big, though. So I snipped an interesting looking bit out of the middle and, just because my blog has a black background, made it yellow-on-black:
Nice. It's like.. thought.. pictured..
Ahem.
Anyway, it's a little obscure, but no more so than a Crucifix or a Star of David would be if you didn't already know what they were.
Okay, if you want, I'll add the word "Atheist" underneath:
Or, in French:
Swedish:
Finnish:
Greek:
Arabic:
Japanese:
You get the point. It's nice on its own, or you can put atheist in any language on there. You could put "freethinker" or "bright", if you favour those terms. You can put "my mind, my choice" if you're feeling subtly humourous, or "don't pray in my school and I won't think in your church" if you're feeling a little more in-your-face.
So, I extend the challenge:
Put up or shut up.
If you're an atheist and you don't like the symbols being used, come up with one of your own. See if you can convince anyone to use it.
It's okay, though. I'm sleeping with the devilishly handsome rogue's wife, too. And she's hot.
Anyway. The "A".
It's the symbol of Richard Dawkins' OUT campaign, which seeks to encourage atheists to get loud and proud.
I first heard about it over at Pharyngula, where the usual argument ensued.
It is, indeed, true that getting atheists to do anything together is like herding cats. It stands to reason, if we were inclined to run with the crowd, we'd be religious.
Anyway, the usual problems with any symbol designed to represent atheism were raised.
First, that it's an "A". Whilst the word for atheist begins with an "A" in most languages, there are some in which it does not, and, of course, there are those languages which do not use the Latin alphabet, so "A" doesn't represent the word atheism everywhere.
Second, the "A" doesn't really represent atheism. It's just the first letter of the word, it doesn't really represent us or what we are.
Then there's the fact that it's a scarlet letter. Yeah, we get the whole "ironic twist" thing, but some aren't comfortable with it.
The atom symbol favoured by American Atheists is often rejected by non-Americans for that same reason, that it represents American atheists.
Some propose using the "no" sign (red circle with a slash through it), usually over a crucifix or collection of religious symbols. Most reject this, as do I, because it makes a statement about what we are not, rather than what we are.
Others favour the null set symbol "{}", but to me, that seems in need of too much explanation.
Still, mindful of the "put up or shut up" philosophy of life, I decided to see about designing an atheist symbol that addresses these issues.
I decided to work to the following requirements:
1) It must represent what atheism is, not what it is not.
2) It must either be understandable in any language, or translatable into any language without spoiling the integrity of the symbol.
3) It must be reasonably easy to understand with, if necessary, only the minimum amount of explanation.
Here's what I came up with:
One of the things I remember from school biology class is that there's this cool machine that makes squigly patterns when you connect it to peoples' heads.
Don't mind me, I'm just playing dumb.
It's called an EEG, and there is a visible difference between the pattern generated by a sleeping subject and that generated by an awake subject.
There is also a marked difference between a person who is relaxed, and a person who is thinking cognitively (which means thinking about stuff as opposed to thinking about an object they can see).
The latter are called Gamma waves and, thanks to the nice people at the Wikimedia commons, here is an example:
So, this is what it looks like when you think about stuff. What more perfect symbol could there be? This, in fact, is your brain on atheism. It's a little big, though. So I snipped an interesting looking bit out of the middle and, just because my blog has a black background, made it yellow-on-black:
Nice. It's like.. thought.. pictured..Ahem.
Anyway, it's a little obscure, but no more so than a Crucifix or a Star of David would be if you didn't already know what they were.
Okay, if you want, I'll add the word "Atheist" underneath:
Or, in French:
Swedish:
Finnish:
Greek:
Arabic:
Japanese:
You get the point. It's nice on its own, or you can put atheist in any language on there. You could put "freethinker" or "bright", if you favour those terms. You can put "my mind, my choice" if you're feeling subtly humourous, or "don't pray in my school and I won't think in your church" if you're feeling a little more in-your-face.
So, I extend the challenge:
Put up or shut up.
If you're an atheist and you don't like the symbols being used, come up with one of your own. See if you can convince anyone to use it.
Friday Rodent Blogging
Selene, once again, out and about, touring her kingdom in The Rolling Ball Of Death™
16.8.07
Carnival Of The Godless
I haven't posted in a few days, what with both Mrs Doombreed and I working so bloody hard. Still, I thought I'd better pop my hear around the door and say hi.
Atheist Revolution has the latest Carnival Of The Godless. So I have some reading to do.
Atheist Revolution has the latest Carnival Of The Godless. So I have some reading to do.
11.8.07
10.8.07
Storm Troopers!
Here are some nice, close-up pics of my Storm Trooper squad, taken for painting competition entry over at 40K Online.
Sergeant, Flamer, Grenade Launcher, and Random Guy Who Just Happens To Be Carrying The Spare Ammo For The Grenade Launcher.
The Three Shooters. Guys taking aim. Clearly they were never taught the rule about all models in a unit shooting at the same target. Either that or they're surrounded by one really big enemy unit.
And the Three Guys Who Aren't Aiming At Anything Much, though the guy in the back does seem to have taken an interest in the guy who is standing in front of him. He, in fact, seems to be giving his behind a nice, long look.
Hey, don't ask, don't tell.
Sergeant, Flamer, Grenade Launcher, and Random Guy Who Just Happens To Be Carrying The Spare Ammo For The Grenade Launcher.
The Three Shooters. Guys taking aim. Clearly they were never taught the rule about all models in a unit shooting at the same target. Either that or they're surrounded by one really big enemy unit.
And the Three Guys Who Aren't Aiming At Anything Much, though the guy in the back does seem to have taken an interest in the guy who is standing in front of him. He, in fact, seems to be giving his behind a nice, long look.Hey, don't ask, don't tell.
7.8.07
Sharpshooters!
The first of my Praetorian Royal Marine Sharpshooter teams is done:
Front:
Spotter:
Sniper:
The other two teams will be individually based, but I thought that putting these two on a large base was appropriate. More on this unit as it develops.
Front:
Spotter:
Sniper:
The other two teams will be individually based, but I thought that putting these two on a large base was appropriate. More on this unit as it develops.
5.8.07
The Simpsons Movie
The ever delectable Mrs Doombreed and I went to see The Simpsons Movie today, and it was good.
I'll start with the standard disclaimer:
If you've seen The Simpsons on telly and didn't like it, don't go to see this movie.
It is the same as an episode of the series, only more so. Homer is Homer, Marge is Marge, Bart is Bart, Lisa is Lisa, and Maggie is Maggie. Get the picture?
The Simpsons Movie is hilarious, from the opening 20th Century Fox fanfare (performed by Ralph Wiggum) to the various jokes peppered through the closing credits. There may never be a funnier Spider-Man reference than Spider-Pig. Tom Hanks may never get to do anything else that's even 1% as funny as his cameo in this movie. You may never look at the EPA the same way again. Almost every side-character in the series pops up here somewhere, doing something, usually something very funny.
Marge says a bad word. It's a word that will be more shocking to American audiences than to, say, English audiences, but it's a bad word nonetheless.
We loved it.
Doombreed Rating: * * * * * 1/2
I'll start with the standard disclaimer:
If you've seen The Simpsons on telly and didn't like it, don't go to see this movie.
It is the same as an episode of the series, only more so. Homer is Homer, Marge is Marge, Bart is Bart, Lisa is Lisa, and Maggie is Maggie. Get the picture?
The Simpsons Movie is hilarious, from the opening 20th Century Fox fanfare (performed by Ralph Wiggum) to the various jokes peppered through the closing credits. There may never be a funnier Spider-Man reference than Spider-Pig. Tom Hanks may never get to do anything else that's even 1% as funny as his cameo in this movie. You may never look at the EPA the same way again. Almost every side-character in the series pops up here somewhere, doing something, usually something very funny.
Marge says a bad word. It's a word that will be more shocking to American audiences than to, say, English audiences, but it's a bad word nonetheless.
We loved it.
Doombreed Rating: * * * * * 1/2
4.8.07
Doombreed's Collection Of Pointy Bits Of Metal
Mrs Doombreed has made many comments about my collection of knives sitting around and doing nothing, so I mounted some of them on the bedroom wall, where they look rather spiffing, if I do say so myself.
2.8.07
10 Proofs Against God
The Stubborn Curmudgeon takes a long, serious look at the scientific evidence for belief in a deity.
Check it out.
Check it out.
1.8.07
A Great Family Day Out
Those nice people over at BlueGrassRoots went for a quick squint at that ridiculous Creation Museum (yes it is, no it's not) and came back with a very entertaining story and some hilarious pics.
Take a squint yourself.
Take a squint yourself.
29.7.07
Mike Reid 1940-2007
We at Legal Alien wish to pay our respects to a great man, Mike Reid who died at the age of 67.
Whilst Mr Reid will probably be most remembered for his work on the BBC soap East Enders, my fondest memories of him will always be his unbelievably hilarious stand-up shows. Reid had an impeccable sense of timing, a tremendous stage presence, and an uncanny ability to tell an old joke like it was the funniest thing on Earth. Whilst his shows were invariably adult-oriented, he never descended into the realms of crude obscenity that marked so many of his contemporaries.
He will be sadly missed, and those who were and are fans of his comedy will always wonder just what exactly a "dry slap" is.
'Ave some of tha-at.
Rest in peace, old friend. You've earned it.
28.7.07
Friday Rodent Blogging
Selene, looking cuter than a cute steak marinated in cute sauce with extra cute on the side, poses for her weekly column.
26.7.07
Paint Day 26/07/07
An unexpected, but welcome paint day today allowed me to do some magic with my airbrush.
First, I added a very light dusting of tan to the objective marker, which makes the sand look so much more realistic, and gives the hatch a nice weathered look:
Next, I experimented with a camouflage scheme for my sentinel:
And the same on my chimera:
Annoyingly, they both look way better up close than the photos would lead you to believe. Still, they are WIP shots, and they'll look better with details added.
First, I added a very light dusting of tan to the objective marker, which makes the sand look so much more realistic, and gives the hatch a nice weathered look:
Next, I experimented with a camouflage scheme for my sentinel:
And the same on my chimera:
Annoyingly, they both look way better up close than the photos would lead you to believe. Still, they are WIP shots, and they'll look better with details added.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)