11.11.05

On the Effectiveness of Aluminium Foil Helmets: An Empirical Study

This is beyond great.

Among a fringe community of paranoids, aluminum helmets serve as the protective measure of choice against invasive radio signals. We investigate the efficacy of three aluminum helmet designs on a sample group of four individuals. Using a $250,000 network analyser, we find that although on average all helmets attenuate invasive radio frequencies in either directions (either emanating from an outside source, or emanating from the cranium of the subject), certain frequencies are in fact greatly amplified. These amplified frequencies coincide with radio bands reserved for government use according to the Federal Communication Commission (FCC). Statistical evidence suggests the use of helmets may in fact enhance the government's invasive abilities. We theorize that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason.

I can hear the crazies screaming themselves to sleep as we speak...

1 comment:

Isaac said...

you know, a properly designed aluminum helmet should allow the seeping of heat away from a thinking persons mind and hence pervent frying. Muchas some people build up the cooling systems on there computer as an alternative to buying a better proccessor.